Sunday Photo Fiction – Beagle

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So what do you think?

Its brilliant. Your best. What is it?

It’s a Beagle.

A Beagle you say?

Yes a Beagle.

It’s a lot different to the last beagle I saw.

I bet it is.

Our beagle was a dog called Atlas. Crazy dog, couldn’t sit still, hyper active, always on the go, hated being confined, when a storm would blow in he’d go berserk, whining and scratching at anything, ate like a horse but loveable all at the same time. Was never very interested in walking wanted to run everywhere and sniff all and anything.

Well this beagle is very different.

Well it hasn’t got four legs and I bet it doesn’t leave its business in the yard.

No, but it went where no man had been before?

Really?

Yes Mars.

Mars? As in the planet?

Yes.

Amazing.

It is isn’t it.

It truly is. And you made this?

Yes.

Even more amazing. So was it successful?

No, failed to make entry.

Oh dear!

Just went up in smoke.

All that work for nothing.

Yes.

Maybe a beagle with four legs and a tail might be a safer option.

Yes. Pet shop?

Lets go.

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Day 41 Consuming Impatience

impatience_by_hymnodi-d3h9a4o

I am driven to distraction

By promises made

Which impact on

My own perverse sense of expectation.

People who say one thing and do the opposite.

Its soul destroying when you believe something

Only to realise that it’s nothing more than words.

Maybe I read too much into what a person says

But when they say they’ll be there at a certain time,

They will soon write to you

They will send you the information you need

And nothing ever arrives,

There is no one to meet.

You are left standing around the meeting place

Looking like a shag on a rock

The only one at the party.

You begin to wonder what point there is

To believing anything anyone says.

When I am told something that I deem

Is good and happening

I go into a state of expectation.

They are going to be here at seven

The letter will arrive any day

They said they would call

So I get into a state

I pace the floor

I tap my foot

I go the letterbox fifty times a day

I irritate everyone around me

With the same dumb questions

Day in and day out.

I ring and get no answers

Everyone acts innocent.

What? We did? When?

While I am tearing out my hair,

(What is left of it)

In sheer frustration

Annoyed

Feeling foolish, again

Thinking the world is having this

Huge joke at my expense

That elsewhere someone is watching

Delighting in my impatience

My frustration

My anger that spills over

Leaving all around me on knife-edge.

I feel shackled to my own naked self

Restrained, incapable of breaking free.

 

Written for: http://mindlovemisery.wordpress.com/2014/02/02/day-41-consuming-impatience/

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D’Verse – Repetition – Busy

Cup of tea with a biscuit

Are you busy?

Please come in?

I have tea, I made a biscuit.

 

It’s been so long

You have come so far

If you’re not busy I’d like you to stop by.

 

I never thought you’d come round

You always tell me you are too busy

But its good you’ve dropped by.

 

They say it’s going to rain.

You are welcome to stop a while

But if you are busy I do understand.

 

The kids are sorry to miss you

They often ask after you,

I say you are a busy man now days.

 

So you have been overseas?

Must have been a busy time for you

Oh, you have a gift? How nice.

 

I have been well, no issues of late

The kids are well, they are all grown.

Like you, they are too busy for me.

 

I spend my days writing letters,

I’m sure you have received them

But maybe you have been too busy to read them?

 

I have wondered when you might stop?

You aren’t getting any younger

It can’t be healthy being busy 24/7.

 

So you are stopping, retiring?

Going to live by the beach,

I know you’ll find plenty to keep you busy.

 

Another cup? Biscuit? Time?

You have to run, I understand,

It’s a busy life you have.

 

I watched you leave, a limp did I detect?

You haven’t changed in all these years

Still far to busy for me.

 

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Poem 96 – Solitude

reader_by_ka_92-d4qvxtr

It is time to withdraw

To a place inside of me

Where I cannot be seen

I can be safe and alone

To contemplate

Where I am?

Who I am?

What I am?

 

I need to, as my demons lurk

Doubt sits on my shoulder

Smirking, forever smirking

Suggesting its all a waste

Why bother?

Loathing stands not far behind

Grinning fiendishly

Waiting its time to take over

Ever ready to attack my fragile shell

Fragment and destroy my self.

 

I do not need to feel the pressure of words.

Your words in particular

Whose beauty I marvel at

But whose understanding

Is beyond me.

The desire to give,

To respond leaves me empty

Bereft of thought.

I read, I marvel, I cannot connect

For we all use the same words

We all shape our own meaning

But I come from a different world.

 

When I write

I crave and dread your response,

Your reply,

For I doubt my ability

But always you sing my praise

You encourage

You teach

The world, love, humour,

Contemplation, humility, me!

I am lost in my own wilderness

Stumbling blindly

Unable to connect.

You are there I see you there

But you choose to ignore

You never see my pain

It never occurs to you

That I am a person like you

Who hurts, who cries, who needs love.

 

I want solitude

To question my motives

Is it self-pity?

Is it real?

Am I a representation

Of the crying clown?

Devoid of emotion

Apart from my words

Which are all I have.

All I can use to reach out

Into an austere world

Where words and not actions

Are always so plentiful.

 

 

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D’Verse – Form for All: Prose/Poetry – Forgiveness

forgiveness

When you asked for forgiveness it was not just a matter of words but more the realization that you were remorseful and that you wanted me to reach out and take you back.

You saw that I contemplated the sin you had committed and that I took into consideration all that had gone on in the past that was truly important and crucial in my coming to a conclusion.

You watched as I made you squirm for no other reason than I was testing the resolve you had to make amends for this crime you thought you had perpetrated upon me.

You even doubted me in thinking I would not forgive but rather cast you out, send you away without giving you any benefit of any doubt when all along there was never doubt in my mind.

I saw the you I love, not the you who believed she was a sinner but rather the beautiful woman I had grown to love with a passion I find words hard to describe.

I reached out to take you in for no sin of yours would ever be beyond forgiveness for love is the act of forgiveness, of acceptance, love will always outlast any call for recompense.

Come my love rest easy within my arms, the void I feared is no more, I have heard you call to me, no longer shall we flounder lost in each other’s wilderness.

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Anja Partin Writer, Artist and Livestrong

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Since my earliest days in WP I have been friends with Anja from Oh Pithy Me.

Check out her blog at: http://abstractorganizedchaosliterally.wordpress.com/

If you have not seen her blog then you are missing out on following an extraordinary writer and artist. Her art work and photography are stunning.

Anja has developed a strong and close association with Livestrong. You can read her story here:

https://www.livestrong.org/profiles/3726/story/

This year Anja placed her art work and photography up for sale through Fine Art America with the profits from every sale to go towards Livestrong. Here is the link to see the wonderful work she has for sale. Please go and look and if you feel moved by what you see please purchase some as I know it will enhance any wall it hangs on:

http://anja-partin.artistwebsites.com/

I have also been fortunate to have been able these past months to use Anja’s art as the basis for a series of stories and as today I received my order from across the seas, I wanted to promote her great cause by sharing the story I wrote to my favourite image.

Going Out

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Are you going out?

Yes.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Will you be long?

Not sure, some things take time.

Yes of course. I’ll see you when I see you.

I hope so.

Miriam made her way to the car aware of the eyes watching her from the windows around the complex.

Going out was an effort.

She preferred to be home as much as was possible.

But a job was a job and she needed to pay the bills.

They rang as they often did at the most inopportune time.

She was in the shower, she liked the shower, it was a time for cleansing, removed the grime of the night and the only thing that allowed her to feel better with herself in the light of a new day.

Her neighbours were prying busy bodies.

But she knew they were afraid of her.

And she liked it that way.

That way they stayed their distance and she didn’t need to interfere in their lives.

She sat in her car contemplating the reason she did this work.

She was not much more than a call girl she thought.

They called. She acted. They paid.

Life had become a vicious circle for her.

The sameness of it caused her to doubt her calling as a calling but rather a burden she could not rid herself of.

But over time she had developed her own style, her unique way of dealing with the issues that confronted her and her efficiency at her job had earned her great kudos from her employers who were more than happy to employ her on a regular basis.

Her elaborate costume was like most things about her, a mask that sheltered her from the reality of her world.

That’s why she liked her own time. Only then was she herself.

Behind her front door lived another person, different to the painted devil she became on a job.

The costume had taken her years to perfect. She had learned early on that appearance and reality were two different things and could operate quite happily in opposition to each other. At least in her world.

And costumes hid the little girl she knew she was inside her head, the little girl who hid a whole basket of ill against the world. At least the jobs served as a means to expunge some of the hatred she knew welled inside her.

At home Arthur stoked the fire.

He checked his watch.

He knew he had time to sit and read for a while before she would come back.

He knew that when she returned she would dismiss him immediately and retire to her room, shower and sleep.

Never had she discussed a job with him.

Rather she held it all inside, how she managed this he could never understand for he had a fair inkling of what she did when she went out, dressed as she was.

He heard the car door slam, the front door and steps on the tiles inside the door.

Good night Arthur she called and was gone as she was every time.

As if on cue he rose and went to the front door, made sure it was locked and gathered the small black plastic bag she always left beside the door on her return.

He placed in the fridge and knew that in the morning a man would call and take it away.

Please go visit Anja’s blog, go look at her art work, support the Livestrong cause.

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Haibun Thinking – The Enchanted Kingdom.

Welcome to week 2 of the Haibun Thinking Challenge.

This week there are two prompts: This is my second go at this one:

Gathering her brows like gathering storm, Nursing her wrath to keep it warm
Robert Burns

The Enchanted Queen Awesome Ruler of the World

Surveyed her kingdom.

All was not right.

Her subjects were revolting in more ways than one.

He Who Wrote to be Noticed was not reporting back

On the fate of Australia as its currency

Had begun to dip since he came to power.

The feathered one was having an identity crisis

What was once a goose was now not a gander but a mallard

Go figure she thought?

The pachyderm had put his foot in it once too often

Was in need of a serious therapy, or worse.

Tommy she was sure had gone walkabout

As he wandered in and out of things.

And her own state of being was severely compromised

So snowed under she was unable to move.

Maybe she thought my kingdom is need of some niceness

And so she thereby decreed

That as of today she would become

Enchanted Queen Awesome and Benevolent Ruler of the World.

To begin everyone’s haibun would be perfect

She would see that everyone would gush

Not only over hers but everyone elses.

There would be happiness in the kingdom

And death to those who disagreed.

Writing to be Noticed adjusted the Australian dollar

The feathered one polished his ID badge

Tommy tried to stand taller

The pachyderm cringed.

The Enchanted Queen Awesome and Benevolent Ruler of the World, her hand on the trap door spring,

Smiled benevolently on all.

 

kingdom in array

subjects out of all control

all benevolence.

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Friday Fictioneers – Workhouse

claire-fuller-2

This photo hangs in the town museum as a reminder of past enterprise in our town.

What it doesn’t show is the hellhole the place was.

We worked as slaves, heads down; no toilet breaks save for lunch and set tea breaks.

Our bosses were tyrants; they exacted their pound of flesh with no compunction. We had unreasonable quotas to meet, which often left us working late for no extra pay. Fall behind and it was often public humiliation in front of the workforce.

Step closer and you’ll see the smears from every past workers spit, so happily deposited.

Written for: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/01/29/31-january-2014/

Posted in Friday Fiction | Tagged , , , , , | 86 Comments

D’verse – OpenLinkNight ~ Week 130 – Words

words-1

Sometimes language speaks to me

Through punctuation

Surreal moments when

Words will jump up,

Slap me in the face and say,

‘HEY YOU, LOOK AT ME!!!!

I am saying something

Something you will regret

Should you remain?

Unobservant.

Knuckle down

Concentrate, shut everything out

Look and learn

You’d be an ignoramus

If it wasn’t for us.’

I like those moments

When I am one with the world

Nature beckons

The universe is stating

It’s all right

Your ignorance

Is astounding

So hold my hand

I will lead you

Educate, inform

Better yet,

Make whole.

Your words

Dance

Thrilling me

Your language

Sings from your page.

Posted for; http://dversepoets.com/2014/01/28/openlinknight-week-130/

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Poem 95 – Lacey’s Story

broken-woman

When I sleep I do so with a knife

A trusty ally, I will act before running

Should any low life try violating me again.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

In the face of you wanting to ruin my life

I will confront you, for ruin sticks to your soul

I will not take any of your shit.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

You have no understanding of what you have done.

That you assert a power over me I resent, I loathe,

It is not fair that you have controlled me.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

You laughed at me, my tears you thought worthless

In your fun, you stole a piece of my mind

Blissfully unaware of the price I pay.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

I want at the thought of human touch

To jump out of my skin as,

No amount of scrubbing will erase you.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

I am abhorred at the sight of my nakedness

I shy away from the sight of my violated self

I am surrounded by filth, so I wash and wash and wash.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

My nightmare of you swallowing my legs,

Continues unabated, your ugliness

Your threats vividly scratched into my soul.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

Everyday I live with my damaged self

A smile translates into your devilish grin

I am uncomfortable in my own skin.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

It is not right I should apologise for my own existence,

That I am a blight on the lives of others,

Taking up their valuable space.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

I believe I am worthless.

That my opinion matters, not even to me.

When you’re nobody it’s easy having nothing to say.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

I have always been an adult,

Childhood ripped from me,

Never to be returned.

 

I am not a bad person.

 

But if you look closely

You’ll see me taking charge, see subtle changes

I can look at myself and smile.

 

I know I am not a bad person

 

I am not sure where this will end,

I am resolved to lifting my game, pick flowers even.

But it’s uphill when you are at rock bottom.

 

I know I am not a bad person.

 

In my struggle I want to stop, befriend animals,

Stare at the stars; value new friends

Tell my story, leave my shit behind.

 

I am a person.

373063

This poem was inspired by the writings of Lacey Larkspur, her post is linked below. Lacey is a very articulate young lady whose blog is a record of her past, loves and aspirations.

 

http://whiskeyandchickenlessnuggets.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/a-few-secrets-part-three

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