Day 41 Consuming Impatience

impatience_by_hymnodi-d3h9a4o

I am driven to distraction

By promises made

Which impact on

My own perverse sense of expectation.

People who say one thing and do the opposite.

Its soul destroying when you believe something

Only to realise that it’s nothing more than words.

Maybe I read too much into what a person says

But when they say they’ll be there at a certain time,

They will soon write to you

They will send you the information you need

And nothing ever arrives,

There is no one to meet.

You are left standing around the meeting place

Looking like a shag on a rock

The only one at the party.

You begin to wonder what point there is

To believing anything anyone says.

When I am told something that I deem

Is good and happening

I go into a state of expectation.

They are going to be here at seven

The letter will arrive any day

They said they would call

So I get into a state

I pace the floor

I tap my foot

I go the letterbox fifty times a day

I irritate everyone around me

With the same dumb questions

Day in and day out.

I ring and get no answers

Everyone acts innocent.

What? We did? When?

While I am tearing out my hair,

(What is left of it)

In sheer frustration

Annoyed

Feeling foolish, again

Thinking the world is having this

Huge joke at my expense

That elsewhere someone is watching

Delighting in my impatience

My frustration

My anger that spills over

Leaving all around me on knife-edge.

I feel shackled to my own naked self

Restrained, incapable of breaking free.

 

Written for: http://mindlovemisery.wordpress.com/2014/02/02/day-41-consuming-impatience/

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33 Responses to Day 41 Consuming Impatience

  1. kalabalu says:

    Waiting patiently for things to happen..yet few times there is no delays
    But most often..we wait to meet and see the people who promised
    Unfortunately..we just wait..endlessly 🙂
    Well…time not to take them so seriously..I guess 🙂

  2. RoSy says:

    Oh dear – I know what you mean. I’m so impatient. And – if I say I’m going to do something I follow through as best as I can. When others don’t – it frustrates the heck out of me. Am I expecting too much?

  3. Ugh I know this agony Michael I am the same way. The mail is especially bad because my packages letters are always months and sometimes even years delayed (seriously). I used to look forward to it I’d order something online it would say 2 weeks but then 7.5 months later it would arrive looking as if it had been beaten with a baseball bat. Without fail the mail has disappointed me so many times I no longer believe it will arrive. Sam can order and it will arrive ahead of schedule! He orders everything now but if he orders for me it is always late just not as late as if I had been involved in the process. If I chose the item guaranteed it would spontaneously no longer be available but they won’t tell me that until I have waited a few months first. I have some weird curse Sam thought I was exaggerating when we first met but after 14 years he can no longer dispute it lol I am currently having a problem making doctor’s appointments they keep forgetting me no matter how much I badger. I hate waiting especially when you really expect believe.

    • I am heartened to hear that mail may arrive seven months after it was sent as that happened to me with mail not arriving, so I can still live in hope. It is very heartening when a piece strikes a chord with my favourite reader ( suck up I know). We often feel we are capable of being possessed by a curse of some kind. I always believed my hands on a lottery ticket meant no chance of a win. And I have been proved right every week!!! Thanks for the top comment Yves.

      • I never win in lotteries either Michael I think my luck goes into keeping my clumsy self intact and I can’t fault that lol Mail can come surprisingly late but it may not be in good condition When we moved from the States to Sweden we packed extremely carefully but it looked like they’d run over the boxes with forklifts we lost some precious items.

      • Well having read your comment I will live in hope. Then again we do have other qualities that make people notice us. Good looks, brains, genial personalities, great dress sense, I could go on…..but it would bore all and everyone who reads,we know our strengths, don’t we?

      • lol

        I really do hope your package arrives

      • So now will the sender..lol

  4. It Better!!!!!! But I hold out no hope 😉 Ok I chuckled at shag on a rock, the only one at the party, then tearing your hair out what’s left of it! You are such a dag. I think many of us are impatient little buggas, I know I am too. I don’t care much about the mail, but grr if visitors arrive late – a pet hate of mine. Really liked this and you did well for Yves prompt. I shall have to now try…oh Muse…where are you?

  5. I’ve found that living in India is an exercise in patience. Times here approximate. Someone is coming to fix something in your home and either doesn’t show up or comes whenever they please. My husband who’s Indian jokingly calls it Indian Time. Packages might not make it at all. I’m pleased when I “do” receive the expected package, especially when it hasn’t been torn at one end.

    • I think most of life is an exercise in patience and we get it tested daily in all sorts of ways. ‘Indian time’ sounds like the way folk treat time in the bush of Australia. No hurry, it will get done, why rush when there is tomorrow after all. Thanks for that great comment Patricia.

  6. Anja says:

    It is funny….I don’t let things get to me that I have no control over such as a package. Stressing will do what? Any impatient issues I have lie within myself. Mail…eh, not so much. But a las, it seems you have something in common with your favorite reader…maybe Sweden and Australia like to mess around with you?

  7. Ah! I know that feeling so well – brilliantly described!! 🙂 🙂

  8. I could feel your impatience growing into frustration and then anger and ouch hair pulling too!! Well written. I would agree with dear wise Kalabalu…it is sometimes best NOT to have expectations of some people who are always late…mail orders are somewhat difficult to control however and trying to trace a parcel only adds to frustrations (sigh)

    • Thanks Oliana, I once lived with a person who was habitually late, it drove me crazy. If something started a seven she thought that was when you left home even if an hours drive was needed. Eventually I started to say whatever began at seven started at six and even then she was struggling to be ready to leave. The mail order is a reference to letters a very good friend sent me last year and never arrived, I saw a glimmer of hope. Hope you are well today.

      • I took the day off so I could volunteer tonight and be rested, facilitating a support group. I am always late…ooops…my ex would wait until I was ready, make up on, hair perfectly coiffed…then he would shower and dress…he found a way to NOT get annoyed…lol Maybe that is why we managed to stay together 28 years…lol. My daughter is like her dad…always on time, my son is like me…fashionably late:)

      • Yes well there is late and there is fashionably late. I have one other category, rudely late! That’s the day you know a cruise is leaving at 5.30 and you arrive at 6.45 and everyone has been waiting for you. It’s a beautiful day down here in paradise. Did you get a chance to read my email? I am off to meet a mate this morning.

      • Oh dear, I did not check my email..will check it now and give you another address that pops into my smart phone regularly.

  9. Waiting for the irresponsible is frustrating for one that is a stickler for time.

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