Ligo Haibun Challenge – A Kiss and Goodbye

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough

-Rabindranath Tagore

 

I sat and pondered whether or not there was an opportunity to engage with him one last time. The last days had been horrific, tubes, machines, nurses, doctors.

During the week I had sat there he had looked at me to give him the answers, why the pain, why the effort to breath. I had no answer, only time. Time to give him, as he had given to me for all those years.

His eyes pleaded, his fear obvious. I held his hand; I knew this was his end.  There was no fight left in him. We sat together united in blood. When the moment came he let go, drifted into eternity. Ever so gently he left me, a kiss, and an exclamation of love. Later I reflected on those last minutes, being physically and spiritually engaged.

 

Time is all there was

With love I held your hand

A kiss and goodbye

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Poem 12 – Grandkids

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there are six of you now,

and I have met you all.

I shall watch as you grow

guided and loved

by parents who dote on you

leading you carefully along life’s paths.

who’ll pick you up when you fall,

catch you when you stumble

care and caress those hurts both inside and out

who will always be there no matter what.

for each of you will test them

throw obstacles to their plans

test their resolve

but always be there for you,

your greatest supporters through thick and thin.

 

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Friday Fictioneers – Embrace Change

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Life is a series of challenges. From one stage of growth to another it’s about the direction we choose to go in.

They say opportunity knocks but in this day and age the door you open may take you in directions you never anticipated.

We live in a time of relative uncertainty.

Our children are being educated for jobs that do not yet exist and this can be a daunting proposition.

Even so we should embrace change, take the road less taken, choose the door to pass through and see what opportunities lie beyond it.

You only live once.

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Alastair’s Photo Fiction – Photo Op

 

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Do you think we will see it today?

Could do, it’s the right sort of day.

I hope so, we’ve come such a long way and I do want to go home with the photo, you said there’d be a chance of a photo.

Yes, there will be but you must be patient.

I am.

Good it will like you.

Have you ever seen it?

Only once.

Once?

Once is enough, believe me.

Why so?

You become part of the creek when you see it.

What?

The creek it swallows you up, devours you.

Oh that’s silly.

I hope it stays a silly notion, for your sake.

You’re just trying to scare me aren’t you? Aren’t you?

Shhh…

What?

Look.

Oh my God.

Shhhh

But it’s……

Satisfied?

Hrtvsie dye cu (Yes thank you!)

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I love you Dad

This week is the anniversary of my worst ever week.

A year ago I spent this week with my father as he gasped his way to his death.

2012-01-04 09.17.56Dad with Great Granddaughter Dakota

each morning a long drive

longer as the week went on

dreading what I would find.

bedridden,

hooked up to oxygen bottles

nurses

massage

pain

discomfort

distressing

congestion choking

smothering you

you held my hand, me yours.

one day in desperation I cried out

how much longer do you have to suffer?

we took photos

only to remember,

you, not the pain.

every day I sat there

we chatted

well I did

you nodded

about whatever

anything but face the reality.

you said I don’t think I can get out of this

I said Dad maybe this is your end

unpleasant, but this is your lot.

words so difficult to say.

my father a strong independent man

reduced by times ravages

afraid, his end, distressing to all

his last morning, showered,

shaved,

shined one last time,

communion,

we planned Saturday’s betting

then you left, just like that,

a nurse, God bless her

she stayed with us

she said, I think he’s going.

you lay your head back, our hands locked together

you slipped away, out of the misery of this world

to where I believe is a better place.

all I could do was kiss you

I love you dad.

Vale –  Tommy.

September 27, 2012.

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Patchwork Woman

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This poem has been written following a conversation with a friend who has battled breast cancer, at a cost, and who lives daily with  lymphedema.  She described this poem as ‘Shockingly accurate’.

There’s a monster within you

One that you have fought and defeated

But at a devastating cost.

For that monster has disfigured you

Tortured and ridiculed you.

But lurking deeper

Hidden from all but those around you

Is a more insidious demon

Who has now taken over

Your body and your spirit.

It fashions every thought

Governs every action and it wants your mind.

This demon delights in control

It cares little

But takes satisfaction from your pain.

A pain never to leave you,

For the demon plays and plots his demonic ecstasy.

Your fierce determination

Will never allow him to smirk at his handiwork.

Made worst

By the jibes of loved ones.

Today lovers shy from you, and the demon cackles as you are left to gaze at your match of spare parts,

Bits that appear real,

But remain mute.

Let others to see the patchwork woman.

You know the real you.

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Prompt 22 Try Something Different – Horror Story

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When Charlotte was a child she was asked to stay over at her cousin Sally’s place.

Sally lived in a dark old house on the edge of town and though Charlotte had been there many times, on each subsequent visit there was an edge to the place that bothered her.

This time was no different. From the moment she entered the house she couldn’t help but feel there was something about the house that was unwelcoming.

Not the inhabitants, they were as welcoming as ever, they were always pleased to see her, and they said she brought a breath of fresh air to the place.

Her Uncle and Aunt were the loveliest people. She felt they were like second parents to her. They took her in and made her feel at home.

It was the house that worried her.

It creaked and groaned, it had the odd smell that she only appeared to be able detect.

Her Uncle and Aunt and cousin Sally always looked at her in amazement whenever she mention this. But there was a distinct smell of death in the air. She knew this smell as one day her mother had sent her down to collect the eggs and she discovered a dead chicken and as it was a very hot day the deceased chicken was well and truly on the nose.

Charlotte’s Uncle and Aunt saw her as an imaginative young thing and laughed at her suggestions of ghosts and specters inhabiting the house.

Cousin Sally always the inquisitive one would listen to her trying to explain her theories to her Uncle and Aunt and then afterwards say some thing like, ‘They don’t want to hear you, they know what you are saying, but they have an understanding. Maybe Charlotte that’s what you’ll have to achieve to feel safe here, an understanding.’

The understanding she was referring to was never explained and Charlotte didn’t feel brave enough to ask.

That night when Sally and Charlotte went to bed, Sally said that she should sit on the bed and if she stayed awake then when they came and she could introduce her.

Charlotte thought this was a silly idea. She said all those things about the house because that’s what she felt.

She didn’t think there would be any proof of what she was saying.

But Sally was insistent that she do as she asked, so Charlotte sat on the bed and it wasn’t long before she was wanting to drift off to sleep.

Then she saw what she could best describe as a white shimmering light. It came through the door and settled in a corner of the room. It hovered there and she heard Sally say not to move.

Then another appeared, then another. Soon the room was full of shimmering lights. The lights glowed from one colour to another, as if expressing an effervescence of emotions. They surrounded the bed and emitted a strange pulse towards Charlotte.

Like…breathing.

A strange warmth ran over her, but she thought its cold, but then so intense as to warm her, though that seemed a contradiction.

Sally was saying something, but it wasn’t to Charlotte, it was to a shimmer on her left and she spoke not a language but gibberish, a sort of guttural language where her voice dipped and peaked between slurs and spits, as it sounded to Charlotte.

The she turned to Charlotte her eyes a strange glow like she’d never seen before, and in a voice said for her to sit still as the Garnsted decided whether or not she was to be given free rein in the house.

Charlotte knew that the Garnsted were the original occupiers of the house. One night a hundred years ago the entire family were murdered in their beds. No one was ever caught nor did any investigation take place and as a result the souls of the Garnsted’s were doomed to spend eternity in the house, as there had been no restitution for them.

As a result the house had been difficult to sell.

Her Uncle and Aunt had always said the house was a cheap   buy, little wonder thought Charlotte.

What followed was a terrifying experience for Charlotte. Suddenly the shimmers became agitated.

Within seconds they were moving, vibrating, swirling, this way then that, across and round the room with ever increasing speed, the room spun, the girls sat rigidly, while the colour spectacular raged.

Charlotte was at a loss to explain the phenomena occurring before her.

Then the shimmers gathered at one end of the room and momentarily there was a lull in their agitation, then followed a rush accompanied by a sound that sounded like the combination of every evil sound ever.

Charlotte was spellbound, and looked terrified as the shimmers gathered force and moving like lighting at her and then through her.

Such was the force of their passing that Charlotte was knocked off the bed.

She tumbled off the bed but she didn’t land, she continued to fall.

Charlotte flayed her arms hoping to catch something to halt her descent.

She tumbled over and over and as she fell she had the impression that the shimmers were falling with her.

They swirled around her, and she began to feel her fall slowing, until finally she fell softly onto a bed.

Sitting up, terrified by what had just happened she looked about to try and determine where she was. Nothing looked familiar.

There was however a hum in the corner and she looked towards it.

Hums had always bothered Charlotte. For reasons she could never fathom they frightened her.  This hum was certainly achieving that goal. She sat rigidly on the bed, as the hum increased in volume and speed.

As it approached a deafening volume she could feel her ears beginning to split.

Then it cut.

Silence.

She could hear her own breathing.

Her eyes darted about, but nothing made any sense to her.

The hum started again.

Softly.

There was movement.

Two figures, a third behind as if shadowing the first two.

Charlotte looked into the eyes of her Uncle and Aunt.

Behind them, Sally smiled.

The voice of her Uncle, the last thing she heard.

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Conversation with a Tantrumist

frustration

Are you upset?

No!

Oh. Then why are you sitting like that?

Like what?

Well you have your arms folded and you are tapping your foot. You never tap your foot unless….

I can tap my foot if I want.

Yes I know you can, my point is you only ever do it when there’s something bothering you.

Well………if you really want to know there is.

So?

So what?

So what is it that’s bothering you?

This!

This.

Yes this cursed computer.

Oh and how is it bothering you. I mean it just sits there at your beck and all.

It’s bothering me because it is supposed to make my life better and it isn’t.

Oh that’s sad.

Sad? It’s terrible. I hate it.

You hate your computer.

I hate my computer.

And what exactly has he computer done to deserve this.

It won’t work for me.

It wont work in what way.

I have a story to write yes?

Yes.

Well this contraption isn’t helping. It’s looking at me as if I’m an idiot.

So what you are saying is that you haven’t written anything and it’s the computers fault.

Yes. I am so pissed off.

Umm, my darling you realize you are blaming the computer for something you cannot do.

Yes. I feel better if I do that.

Better?

Yes then I can attack it and I’ll feel better.

I hate to break it to you but it’s not the computers fault.

Yes it is.

No its not.

Look I have writers block I know that but I have to blame something, it can’t be my fault.

Well as you’re the one pushing the keys don’t you think it would be wiser to have a look at yourself?

What? Are you insane?

No just practical. You don’t have to be Einstein to figure out that its you not the computer.

I don’t like you. I’m not talking anymore until you and that thing apologises.

You are being silly now.

No I’m not. You’ve insulted me and I’m going to sit here and, and, and, I’ll stamp my foot if you don’t get out and leave me alone.

You do look a sight you know.

Bugger off.

How can I take you seriously sitting there with your arms folded, a scowl on your brow and that bottom lip poking out like an awning.

My lip does not poke out like an awning. Now I’m doubly pissed.

Ok have it your way. I’m going to read the paper.

What! You insensitive bastard how could you at a time like this. You are supposed to be my support, my rock, and the one I can rely on in times of crisis and right now I’m having a crisis.

You are not having a crisis.

How do you know what its like inside my head. I have brain cells calling other brain cells that normally connect and all they are getting is wrong number signals and you say I’m not having a crisis.

Well yes I know your brain is am amazing place, confusing at times and at other times as plain as the nose on your face.

You saying I’ve got a plain nose. You good for nothing sod. That’s it. First you insult my brain and then you have the temerity to start on my nose.

Oh you are being silly. I’ll be outside if you want me.

Oh that’s right, run off, great support you turned out to be. Now I’m going to sit here and pout, stamp my foot, no both feet and when I’m done doing that I’ll bury my head under the pillow.

Oh for goodness sake.

Go on off you go. Desert me in my hour of need. Side with that monster there.

Hey.

What I’m not listening. I feel hurt beyond measure, I’m so sorry I ever laid eyes on you.

Hey………….

Hey?

Hey…… you are acting very childishly you know.

Go away I’m not listening.

Hey………..

Don’t touch me. I’m having a tantrum, don’t you know you never touch a person having a tantrum.

Why not?

Tantrumists can get inexplicably violent and I don’t want that.

Neither do I.

I just want to write something, anything.

And you can’t think of anything?

No Nothing. My mind is a bottomless pit of nothingness.

Can you come out from under the pillow and we’ll talk about it.

Oh alright. What?

You want some suggestions.

No…… Oh go on.

Escape.

What?

Escape, you used to talk about a time when you use to dream of places you wanted to escape to.

I did?

Yes I remember you talking about it once.

Oh yeah……..

So what are you doing now?

Thinking.

Ahh.

Hmmm…….move over I have a thought.

Ok, I’ll be out reading the paper.

K.

K

Oh!…… hey

Yes?

Thank you.

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Poem 11

Wicked Witch

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Today Jenny from  Ramblings From A Mum  said, you think you’re alright yes? Try these three words and do your worst. Tyrant, disaster and destruction – so I did!!

I surveyed the scene

Devastation, as far as the eye could see

The tyrant had delighted in wreaking vengeance

On me and those I loved

Leaving us nothing but shells

Cut outs that

She tossed about at her whim.

Never caring that it was those she loved who suffered from her callousness.

In the mist of disaster

Emerged heroes,

Models of resilience I never thought

Could survive

The cutting

Slashing

Willful

Vindictiveness.

Suffer I heard her say

As a child was turned away

Left in the cold

Another slapped and tormented

Escape was all they could muster.

Yet the tyrant, oblivious of her actions

Continued her righteousness

Blaming all for her

Justified destruction.

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Poem 10

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Do some songs make you cry?

Does the lyric and haunting melody move you?

Do such moments spark a melancholy

That spirals you into a past hurt?

Do you linger on the line

That promotes tears

As you retreat further inward?

But when the moment presents itself

Do you eagerly hit replay?

For whose fault is it

When you lose your way?

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