This week is the anniversary of my worst ever week.
A year ago I spent this week with my father as he gasped his way to his death.
each morning a long drive
longer as the week went on
dreading what I would find.
hooked up to oxygen bottles
you held my hand, me yours.
one day in desperation I cried out
how much longer do you have to suffer?
we took photos
only to remember,
you, not the pain.
every day I sat there
well I did
anything but face the reality.
you said I don’t think I can get out of this
I said Dad maybe this is your end
unpleasant, but this is your lot.
words so difficult to say.
my father a strong independent man
reduced by times ravages
afraid, his end, distressing to all
his last morning, showered,
shined one last time,
we planned Saturday’s betting
then you left, just like that,
a nurse, God bless her
she stayed with us
she said, I think he’s going.
you lay your head back, our hands locked together
you slipped away, out of the misery of this world
to where I believe is a better place.
all I could do was kiss you
I love you dad.
Vale – Tommy.
September 27, 2012.