My children are killing me
At me day and night
I haven’t time to think
Haven’t time to breathe
They want, they demand
How do I get to love them?
When all I do is run after them?
Never do I think of them as a burden
A constant drain on me
Was I wrong in becoming a parent?
Am I a failure as a mother?
All day I am chasing them
Feeding, clothing, comforting
Where is there a moment for me?
I put in all I can, I am trying
To be the best I can but I worry
I may not be good enough,
I nurture them; give them attention.
What were once seedpods within me
Are now becoming people,
Replicas of me and him.
At night I take stock of my day
He snores in his chair, his day spent.
He helped tonight with the bathing,
Dressed the twins, read to the four year old
He’s a good dad, they love him
But when he’s not here,
I struggle holding it together.
Tomorrow the grind restarts
My sprouts will be heads up at dawn
Wanting, needing crying for me again
I only have two hands I say
Be patient, sit there, give me a minute
Please don’t mess with your lunch
The floor, will it ever be clean?
They say with age it all gets better
Meanwhile I am fading, my youth gone
Barefoot and pregnant is a default position
I touch my tummy; I dread having to tell him
I draw in my breath; consider the joy of a new born
As the twins again fertilize their bed.
Written for: http://dversepoets.com/2014/06/03/poetics-seeding/
Morpethroad 
ok, small nightmare…whew…i feel the burden and the heaviness…
there was a time shortly after having my kids where i really struggled
because so much of life changed…i would change nothing, but i did
go through it…i feel for her though…its not for the faint of heart…ha
So true Brian easy in hindsight though, tough on the front lines as my girls are discovering.
You have really got inside the mind of a mother here, Michael. I am impressed with your empathy. Sad though if ‘barefoot and pregnant’ is the default.
It is sad Mary, but this persona, as real as she might be, at that moment felt that way. Thanks as always for your comment.
Well, after having raised your kids, I suppose you know something about all that. I don’t, thank goodness. LOL
Thanks Jackie you are appreciated as always.
oh it’s not easy with small children.. such a lot of work but what a wonderful work as well, investing in the life of them… caring for them and raising them was the best thing that i ever did in my life
I agree Claudia it is the best thing we can do.
Children are innocent and helpless, they need their parents. After at some point of our lives we too were kids and our parents had to bear with us. Life goes round in circles.
So true. Thank you for your comment.
Mary said it best, I couldn’t add any more. Well done Michael – as always.
Thank you Lyn lovely of you to drop by.
A moment I have missed.. But I see it in the eyes of parents though.. Of colleagues lacking sleep, in the words of new parents… Yes I’m sure there are those moments
Thanks Bjorn, they are very real I can assure you.
You’ve certainly put yourself in a mother’s shoes very well – I can still remember those moments of hopelessness (still get the occasionally and they are much bigger now…). And yet, and yet… you capture that ambiguity so well too. I liked all those tough questions, especially:
How do I get to love them?
When all I do is run after them?
Thanks Marina, my second daughter is about to have her second child after an almost eight year break. My third daughter will have her third in September she will have three under three. I’ll have eight gkids, I hope I remember their names.
Poor mother, she seems to have a handful! And not many reasons to feel fulfilled.
Thanks Gabriella as I said above my daughters are about to have new babies, one any day now another in September so it will be hectic in their respective households. Thanks again for reading and your comment.
Ah I think so many Mamas feel this way – and Daddy’s too. Well done!
Thank you shayns you are right it’s both mum and dad feeling like this from time to time.
Thank goodness I have passed that trying stage ~ I can empathize though when children come one after anther and the mother is really overwhelmed and full of doubt whether she can sustain the family ~ I like your empathy for the mother ~ You took seeding in a different direction, smiles
Thanks Grace I have new babies coming to two of my daughters in the very near future. One of them will have three under three, I worry about how she will cope. But I did it once, so I know it can be done and I’m reasonably sane, I think. Have a good day.
they need as much love as we have to give, don’t they. I really liked this, especially the twist at the end.
Thanks Bill, hey do need all we can give and just when you think you have a minute to yourself disaster strikes, its how it is somedays.
I tell ya, you def get inside the mind of a woman…just like Stephen King!!
Thanks she’s been with me for a long time.
smiles
I know…
Thank God my husband is an active parent. I would go insane being a single mom or a mom with no help from her husband (or their children’s father).
Lucky you RoSy not every woman is so fortunate. Thanks for your comment.
Spoken like a true woman…have known those moments and have had friends who’ve had the twin shock too! Well written laddy!
Thanks Georgia. My daughter had a girl yesterday. Great excitement.
Congratulations! Happy for you and her family … and now understand where you got your inspiration!
Thanks Georgia I have a photo on my blog of her.
Great, I’ll pop by to see her!