Tuesday Poetics: Summer Starter

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My summer is upside down

If you stand on your head you get an idea,

For I live where it is not summer.

Outside the winter has arrived

A cold wind blows

One I’m sure has been holidaying in the Antarctic.

I am envious of my northern friends

For whom hot days and nights are now the norm

Gardens being attended

Weeds pulled, paths cleared,

Fresh mulch spread

The sense of summer joy at growth

Of new blooms and the fruits of their labors.

I think this as I huddle closer to the fire

Rugs around my legs

Soup on the stove

For me a season of hot pots

Warm nights with family

Cosy together, once again.

 

Written for: Tuesday Poetics: Summer Starter

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One Hundred Word Stories – One Hour Flight

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Write about someone who irritates you.

 

When Howard hit the aisle of the plane it was a sobering moment. He had for the past hour been at his most unsobering best. His fellow travelers were relived they had arrived and thankful they had come across Howard on a one-hour flight.

He had regaled all around him with tales of, he thought, adventure but the thing that pissed off those around him was putting the hard word on his travelling companion.

So it came as a surprise to Howard as he stood up to leave that the passenger in front tripped him as he walked past.

 

Written for: https://tobreatheistowrite.com/2016/06/21/one-hundred-word-stories/

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FFfAW Challenge – Week of June 21, 2016 – Great Uncle Mortimer

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Image: TJ Paris

Great Uncle Mortimer had a reading room in his house. As kids we were forbidden to go in there as Great Uncle considered us uncultured and sullied children incapable of appreciating such a room.

What Great Uncle really wanted was the shield us from the imps who inhabited the tops shelves of his vast bookcases.

These were very small folk who took unkindly to any one coming too close. It wasn’t unusual, so it was said, to find yourself sitting quietly and suddenly be hit from behind by a book flung from a high shelf. If they didn’t like you it could be a Shakespeare Complete Works that took you out.

Great Uncle said he had an agreement with them that no children would ever be allowed into the room.  Great Uncle’s son Lyle had gone in and was never seen again.

It did explain why Great Uncle would often come out of the reading room wearing his pith helmet.

 

Written for: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2016/06/20/fffaw-challenge-week-of-june-21-2016/

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Haibun Monday: 50 Shades of Rain

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Its 3am. Outside I hear an unfamiliar sound. At last after months of winter drought there is rain. It showers down upon the darkened roof, its music fills me with joy, the constant rate of downfall enough to suggest we will get relief today. So long have we worried, anxiety at its max, the neighbours forced to sell up after the bank foreclosed on their massive debts. We have survived by the skin of our teeth but I know that after today there will appear spring time life in the dust bowls that surround our homestead. I nudge my wife awake and together we listen to salvation. Today I may just stand out in the downpour, thank God for blessing us at this most desperate time.

 

springtime blessed rain

repetitious, welcoming

hope is eternal

 

Written for: https://dversepoets.com/2016/06/20/haibun-monday-50-shades-of-rain/

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Wordle #114 “June 20th, 2016” Elderberry Wine

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This week’s words: Elderberry Climate Atrabilious (gloomy; morose; melancholy; morbid.irritable; bad-tempered; splenetic.) .License Singe Dream Obstruct Cerise (moderate to deep red) Fugitive Hesitation Random Length

‘I have been a fugitive from love for so long. My atrabilious sense of self is what has restricted me from moving on all these years. Women flee from me, it’s a hopeless situation. Is it any wonder I am such a morose and melancholic man?’

The man looked at his doctor his eyes pleading for sympathy, understanding even credibility. The Doctor, his medical license hanging by a threat above his head, looked up from the note pad in front of him and smiled.

The man continued, thinking he was on a roll that was sure to win the doctor over to his cause. ‘Big words,’ his mother had told him. ‘Use as many big words as you can wrap your tongue around.’

The man made his final plea: ‘I’m atrabilic, I can’t get out of bed of a morning, my skin has turned this weird cerise colour when it used to be a more orange shade and in the present climate most people think of me as a joke when in fact I’m a very serious person. I mean I drink elderberry wine for goodness sake. I’m told it has qualities to make me a man among all men but my ego has been seriously singed and my dreams of greatness and of women fawning over me have not materialized.

I was told elderberry wine would increase the length of my main bit but it hasn’t. I find I hesitate to the point of hesitation when I engage with any random woman and I am told the size of my feet is an obstruction to my progress in life. Doctor what am I to do?’

The doctor had been pretending to listen and placed his coffee cup down on his desk wishing the climate control in his office wasn’t as random as it was. He took a deep breath and could feel the atrabiliousness within himself rising to the surface as he contemplated the poor suffering devil in front of him.

‘Your splenetic behavior,’ said the doctor. “Pisses me off no end. Is it any wonder women flee from you? I want to flee from you. I hesitate to say this but you are the most random person I have ever met. Your cerise colour is in part because you are a moron. Drink all the elderberry wine you can, it can’t possibly make you any worse and if I see you here again before next week I have a license to commit you to a place where dreams don’t exist.’

‘Thank you,’ Doctor said the man getting up and heading for the door. ‘I love the randomness of our sessions.’

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2016/06/20/wordle-114-june-20th-2016/

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Moral Mondays: Lessons from Dad

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No kissing on the first date

My dad would have been the last person to give you lessons on dating. He was shier than me around girls. In later life he told me about a date where he was a partner to a girl at a ball. So successful was he, he discovered the girl had gone home halfway through the night. But he did give me one invaluable lesson. Humility is a virtue.  It allows you to listen and not judge, a trait he developed as he aged and I am so grateful he did as he helped me through some difficult times.

 

PS: It is not Father’s Day in my part of the world but to all dad’s who are celebrating and being celebrated I hope you have the best day surrounded by the love and affection you deserve.

Written for: https://moralmondays.wordpress.com/2016/06/19/moral-mondays-lessons-from-dad/

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Writing Prompt: June 19 2016: Tarot Card “Temperance” – Mrs Allcock

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Mrs. Allcock looked down her nose for the tenth time that night. It was chilly night and she was feeling the cold. It was 10pm, the night was coming to a close and she was glad to be packing up her wares and heading home where a warm fire burnt and her husband the Honourable Frank would have a steaming pot of tea ready for her.

The last of the stragglers filed out of the public house as Mrs. Allcock handed out her Temperance League pamphlets only to see them go the way of every other pamphlet that night, straight to the ground.

Mrs. Allcock was on her own this night. The other ladies usually at least six in number had bailed on her but as she was determined to do her bit and stand her ground against the evils of alcohol she had carried her stand of pamphlets on her own and had withstood the taunts of the men and women who left the public house a various of states of intoxication.

Mrs. Allcock never saw herself as a wowser, she liked a nip of brandy on a cold night but on drinking to excess she took the moral high ground. After all she thought these men were incapable of walking in a straight line and very likely unable to think in a straight line and would go home to wives and families in this state and one feared what might happen. Mrs. Allcock did read the papers and listened to the neighbourhood gossip.

As she plodded her way home she thought how lucky she was to be married to a man like the Honourable Frank. He was a good man, loyal and hardworking and always treated her with the respect she demanded.

It then came as a surprise and a shock to her upon opening the front door to find the Honourable Frank engaged in a less than honourable act with Shelley Oberdie the dairy maid.

Frank was considerably drunk, as evidenced by his slurred greeting, his pants down around his ankles and his hands fondling Shelley’s voluminous breasts as he repeated “milk maid, milk maid”.

Mrs. Allcock had the unfortunate Christian name of Gladly and it was something that bugged her a lot as at the time of her marriage she had been so naïve as to not realise the significance of her name and Franks being placed side by side.

At that very moment Frank was living up to his name in no uncertain way and Shelley was rejoicing in the fact.

Frank oblivious to his good wife’s presence made the unfortunate statement: “I’m Allcock by name and Allcock by…” just as Mrs. Allcock hit him behind the ear with her rolling pin.

There was a deathly silence as both women looked at the prostrate Frank lying on the floor.

Said Mrs. Allcock: Everything should be in moderation. I try to be patient with my husband but he breaks out every so often.

Said Shelley: I believe in balance and Frank was very good at it. We had such a good connection.

Said Mrs. Allcock: I think he’ll heal ok.

Said Shelley: I was just going with the flow it wasn’t my purpose to lead him astray.

Said Mrs. Allcock: It’s an odd transformation that occurs in him like he has no sense of direction.

As the Honourable Frank lay unconscious on the floor the two women sat at the table and discussed things temperance over a hot cup of tea.

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2016/06/19/writing-prompt-june-5-2016-tarot-card-temperance/

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SoCS June 18/16 – “Class”

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The class in question had the reputation of being the worst class in the school. They were rowdy, rude, repugnant, never interested in any lesson and every teacher cringed at the thought of taking the class last lesson on a Friday.

It was the lot of the beginning teacher to be given a class such as this partly as no one else wanted them and partly as a way of finding out what the new teacher would do with them. After all he came from the University full of ideals and ideas.

So the young teacher did battle with them every day. He planned lessons, made up games, took them out of the room to give them lessons in the fresh air. Nothing worked and they simply took advantage of his age and his inexperience.

The school Principal didn’t like him anyway and saw the class as providing him with the ticket to get rid of him. The Principal didn’t want new ideas in his school, he wanted the old fashioned chalk and talk, the rigid discipline, lots of rote and homework.

After six months with what could only be described as chaos the Principal called the young teacher in and said to him that is was obvious the class was not being controlled during his lessons and if there was no improvement he would call in the School Inspector to assess his viability of staying on as a teacher in the school.

Of course nothing improved, the class got worse, they ran in and out of the room, they drew on the walls, they made the young teachers life hell.

So one day in the third term the Inspector of Schools arrived to assess the young teachers progress. The young teacher knowing his future was on the line made every effort to plan the best lessons he could and the worst class was afforded the most time having all sorts of things to keep them interested.

Knowing the first issue he always had was getting them into their seats he decided to take on a strong arm approach. If nothing else it might frighten them into submission, if only temporarily.

The day arrived and the young teacher took the Inspector with him to the class. Normally the class would be in the room running amok by now. Today to the young teachers surprise they were lined up outside the room in two straight lines awaiting his instruction to enter the room.

On entering the room, they sat in their seats, took their books out and sat attentively as he began the lesson. Not a work was spoken out of place, hands shot up when he asked questions. The young teacher was in a form of shock himself.

The lesson went wonderfully well and every lesson that week went the same way with the Inspector sitting in the back of the room watching and making notes during every lesson.

By weeks end the Inspector reported to the Principal that the found no fault with the young teacher and in fact he thought he was one of the best teachers he had ever seen.

He left a happy man, the Principal was flabbergasted. He delivered the Inspectors report to the young teacher and said that he was pleased there had been such a change in the young teacher’s relationship with the problem class.

The next Monday the young teacher full of enthusiasm and excitement over his glowing report went to class with renewed determination. To his dismay the class was its normal unruly self.

He called for attention, yelled and screamed at them to be quiet and was very angry at their return to their old ways. When he asked them why they had behaved as they had when the Inspector was there they replied:

“We like you sir and we weren’t going to let you down.”

 

Written for: https://lindaghill.com/2016/06/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-1816/

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On Popular Demand – Rest is the sweet sauce of labor

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My neighbor works in her garden

Bent over many hours

Pulling weeds, fighting snails and slugs

It’s an all-day battle

One she knows will never end

But a small victory is better than none.

When I offer help she refuses

Ever so politely.

It is her mission to have a garden

One she likes to look over

To sit among her flowers

Reminisce and wonder what if.

It’s here her love goes most days.

 

Written for: http://www.adashofsunny.com/on-popular-demand-rest-is-the-sweet-sauce-of-labor-6/

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Microfiction challenge #1: Childhood – Maise and Peter

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Image: Alvin Arnegger

Maise was pretty fed up with the whole portrait thing. To make it worse her brother Peter was not making it easy by running around the studio every time the artist, Mr. Turnbull, looked at his canvas and not at them.

“It’s going to take an eternity,” thought Maise as her brother in his sailor suit was once again placed beside her.

Peter was a naughty boy who took every opportunity to make Mr. Turnbull’s job as hard as possible. He would wait for Mr. Turnbull to take up his sketch pad before pulling the most hideous of faces.

Father had tried every method of bribery he could think of, Peter’s favourite picture books, even a colouring book with brand new crayons had been tried but they all ended up on the floor.  Later when looking at the final portrait Maise was amazed that only yesterday the artist had managed to get a Peter face that looked half decent.

The last straw was when lining Peter up for the final sketch. The artist captured the two children seconds before he headed butted his sister.

 

Written for: https://janedougherty.wordpress.com/2016/06/17/microfiction-challenge-1-childhood/

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