This weeks words to play with: Burnish (polish, brighten) Drivel (foolish talk) Theatre Limp Stamp Sciamachy (an act or instance of fighting a shadow or an imaginary enemy) Vulnerability Fountain Shame Patient Ancestral Stare
‘This script Johnny is drivel!’
If I’d heard that once I’d heard it a thousand times. No matter where I took my words the result was always the same. To break into the theatre business was a pain in the arse to say the least. I asked myself a million times how did Shakespeare do it? Though I did know the answer to that, he had his own theatre company; I had a word processor and a book of stamps.
I sent my scripts everywhere and to every theatre publisher I knew. Each one returned with the same apologetic expressions, ‘your work has potential but we do not feel it is what our company is looking for at this moment.’
My favourite script was the tale of an aging male’s vulnerability when faced with his greatest mid life crisis, he stands naked before his beautiful leading lady staring sadly at his limp member drawing the audience’s attention to the fact that his search for the fountain of youth had shamefully deserted him. Despite her pleas for him to be patient and to relent and take the small blue pill she holds out for him he argues that in his ancestral family every male was able to stand on his own.
This moment I thought was such a pivotal and poignant scene and one that would burnish the play with a freshness hitherto not seen before.
All efforts of course fell on deaf ears as theatre owners suggested the potentiality of the scene but feared the legal ramifications and laws suits the scene would generate could put them out of business. I think I went a little too far inferring a little hip sciamachy might be a crowd pleaser when pitching my script the First Self Righteous Church Theatre Company which did result in some consternation among the committee members some of whom had to be revived with smelling salts.
But I had learned during my years of writing that you should never give up on an idea if you believe in it. Drivel it may have been to some, but I knew I just had to find the right company, one where my play could be burnished and stamped as the theatrical masterpiece I knew it was and that one day my name would be up in lights, glittering shamelessly, society no longer limp in the acceptance of hip sciamachy as a legitimate form of theatrical expression.