Manic Monday #9 Challenge – Turn the Page

Posted on October 30, 2017 by Michael

Based on Bob Seger’s “Turn the Page.

She was the bravest of women,

Full not only of determination

But compassion for others

And a fierce passion for the things she held dear.

It wasn’t always so, she led a life of conformity

So often as she attempted to turn the page

She found herself facing

The same old shit, just a different day.

Within her she held secrets

The type that haunt you,

Tie you down, keep you riveted

Under the control of past perpetrators.

To break free she did what so many have had to do,

Act as no one expects, defy the naysayers

Step out into the unknown

As that was the only place left to go.

She wrote her story, irritated family

Suffered the slights only family can give

But believed it was her story,

“Let them write their own.”

Hers was as she experienced it.

In all this turmoil, which played upon her health

She still found time for me,

A boy, upon one page in her life.

 

 

Written for: https://flipflopseveryday.wordpress.com/2017/10/30/manic-monday-9-challenge-turn-the-page/

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing prompt | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wordle #176 – Ada’s Lockjaw

Posted on October 30, 2017 by Michael

download-6

This week’s challenge: lockjaw [spasm of the jaw muscles, causing the mouth to remain tightly closed, typically as a symptom of tetanus|an accent associated with the upper class of the northeastern United States, characterized by a supposed lack of movement of the mouth and jaw] Ambiguous Adjuration [an earnest request; entreaty|a solemn or desperate urging or counseling] laconic [(of a person, speech, or style of writing) using very few words| brief, terse, succinct] Canter spare key swan song [a person’s final public performance or professional activity before retirement] mellisonant [containing or constituting or characterized by pleasing melody] Dope Electrics Costume Posturing

There was nothing ambiguous about Ada. She liked to gab, it was a part of her nature and when the lockjaw hit her it came a s a relief to her husband, the long suffering Hilton.

The result of Ada’s lockjaw was she became a very laconic character, choosing her words carefully fully understanding that she had limited time each time she opened her mouth to get out what it was she wanted to say before the lockjaw kicked in.

So for Ada each opportunity to speak was like her swan song. She took every chance to have the last say.

To Hilton her unusual silence during the day as mellisonant and he loved the silent nature of what he heard coming from her mouth. As it was Halloween Hilton loved each year to don his costume one which he knew Ada disliked as she wasn’t much for celebrating anything apart from her ability to gab. She had tried over the years to adjurate to get Hilton some help from the local therapist “I’m listenin’” O’Hallinan whom Hilton referred to as a dope more interested in electrics than anything Hilton had to say. Hilton suspected “I’m listenin’” smoked dope as well.

Needless to say all efforts at adjuration fell on deaf ears despite all of Ada’s loud and enthusiastic posturing from one day to another.

So now with Ada in the clutches of lockjaw Hilton went at a canter into his Halloween celebrations and so decked out in his costume he grabbed the spare key leaving the floundering Ada at home fuming but unable to utter a word in protest.

In her now silent world Ada had time to reflect on the current situation where she would have been vocal in her opinions she was beginning the understand the meaning of ambiguity.

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2017/10/30/wordle-176/

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing prompt | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

Sunday Writing Prompt #226 – What’s in a Name? Part 2

Posted on October 30, 2017 by Michael

10 Book titles: ACTUAL book titles – and your mission is to read the list, stop long enough from your gut splitting laughter, compose yourself, then choose a few from the list – and write:
write the “jacket blurb” – in no more than 10 sentences. Choose no more than 3 selections

 

Here are your titles:

  • People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to do About it
  • Living with Crazy Buttocks
  • Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy
  • Don’t Tell Mum I Work on The Rigs, She Thinks I’m a Piano Player in a Whorehouse
  • Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop and Other Practical Advice in Our Campaign Against the Fairy Kingdom
  • Managing a Dental Practice, The Genghis Kahn Way
  • The Pyromaniac’s Cookbook
  • The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
  • Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand: And Other Life (and Death) Lessons from the Front Line of Forensics
  • Sunbeams May Be Extracted from Cucumbers, But the Process is Tedious

 

Sunbeams May Be Extracted from Cucumbers, But the Process is Tedious

This could be read as an outstanding horticultural textbook but if so you would be sadly delusional.

It would be easy to mistake it for a Philip K Dick sci-fi novel but then again you would be wrong.

The secret to this book is understanding the meaning and nature of the word tedious.

It is a tedious read, from start to finish.

There will be moments when you will question your sanity.

Moments when you’ll be glad you ate before start your morning read.

In Chapter 13 you first read any reference to a cucumber, which does come as a disappointment.

The passing comment from the books protagonist about cucumber in his sandwich is about as much as you get on that subject.

As you labour your way through the seven hundred pages of drivel that best describes the writing you begin to wonder if you’ll ever sleep peacefully at night again.

By the end of this book you’ll be of the opinion the sun is wiser than it looks in avoiding cucumbers as you’ll never look at one the same way again. 

Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand: And Other Life (and Death) Lessons from the Front Line of Forensics

I’m sure the author of this text was on a mission to earn a quick fire dollar from this book.

If blood, gore, graphic description of injury and an odd penchant for the macabre is your thing then you’ll enjoy what is to come.

Forensics is an exacting science, and within society we depend on it to help solve so many mysteries.

Why did grandpa up and die so suddenly at 104 years of age?

We explore the ins and outs of the investigation into grandpa’s demise and it comes as no surprise to the more sane of us that grandpa died of old age.

Then you’ll be thrown into the case of Myra Mary Donald who was found at the bottom of a well.

It was obvious, and certainly described that way, that she had been down the well a long time.

We marvel at the skill of the forensic team as they piece Myra Mary back to together, deduce her sexual preferences, dismiss each of her numerous partners as potential perpetrators and then reveal the ultimate culprit.

This book will have you glued to your seat, a page turner that horrifies you the further you go.

Managing a Dental Practice, The Genghis Kahn Way

Based on the life and times of London dentist Genghis Kahn who unlike his historical counterpart, Genghis Khan, did not secure himself a page in the history of the world.

Genghis Kahn was to dentistry what Ed Wood was to film making.

He considered himself an asset to society and in setting up his practice claimed to have devised pain free dentistry.

His infamous statements during surgery have been handed down through various dental journals as a guide as to what not to do.

As a patient struggled against the pain of his drill Genghis would call back to them, “I can’t feel it.”

Genghis is accredited with an early form of root canal treatment by throwing patients into the Root Canal behind his practice where every known and many unknown forms of bacteria would invade your body permanently taking your mind off what ever dental issue you thought you had.

“Just a little longer,” was another of his infamous statements usually said with one foot on your chest to hold you in the chair.

So if you are into dentistry with a humourous twist, and a how not to text this is the book for you.

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2017/10/29/sunday-writing-prompt-226-whats-in-a-name/

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing prompt | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Sunday Writing Prompt #226 – What’s in a Name?

Posted on October 29, 2017 by Michael

10 Book titles: ACTUAL book titles – and your mission is to read the list, stop long enough from your gut splitting laughter, compose yourself, then choose a few from the list – and write:
write the “jacket blurb” – in no more than 10 sentences. Choose no more than 3 selections

 

Here are your titles:

  • People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to do About it
  • Living with Crazy Buttocks
  • Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy
  • Don’t Tell Mum I Work on The Rigs, She Thinks I’m a Piano Player in a Whorehouse
  • Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop and Other Practical Advice in Our Campaign Against the Fairy Kingdom
  • Managing a Dental Practice, The Genghis Kahn Way
  • The Pyromaniac’s Cookbook
  • The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
  • Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand: And Other Life (and Death) Lessons from the Front Line of Forensics
  • Sunbeams May Be Extracted from Cucumbers, But the Process is Tedious

 

  • Living with Crazy Buttocks

In this less than riveting novel, the plight of the protagonist is one you can’t help but feel some affection for.

The author, obviously writing from real life, describes the life of Angus Arsewetter, when his bottom decides it doesn’t like him and wants out.

Easier said than done.

He consults a range of medical people who become increasingly vague as time goes on.

There are moments when the plot labours and other’s where the plot has you rolling on the ground in sheer relief that it’s not you with this situation.

The love of his life, the less than encouraging, Mary “The Mental Case” Donovan tries her best to support and love him but struggles as one would with a man whose arse that doesn’t want to be there.

Of course, there is much to be revealed within the torrid pages of his novel.

Why does his bottom dislike him so much?

But what has Angus done to his bottom?

Read on brave purchasers of this text, discovery awaits you.

 

  • People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to do About it

This book is more a treatise of a philosophical nature.

At least that is what the author, Miles Fandango, would like you to believe.

There is a riveting chapter about discovering the dead who are attached to you, and you’ll be surprised to learn it can be more than one.

Miles Fandango has thoroughly researched this topic and presented a plan anyone could apply to their lives should they discover a dead person sitting on their shoulders.

He asks many questions, provides no answers, but all the same throwing the onus of discovery onto the shoulders of the living.

For the reader, Chapter Six, why the dead won’t go into your bathroom is an eye-opener.

Seeing your private bits is an abhorrence to them.

Hence there is great hilarity in the final words of the chapter.

This text is a must-read for anyone who has exhausted their already immense reading list.

A philosophical discussion you may never recover from.

 

Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy

This nine-hundred-page tome leaves little to the imagination.

The story of Alex “The Horse” Benson, a legendary participant in weekend orgies.

Alex upsets the applecart of the weekend orgy by refusing to get drunk, take drugs and let the women in attendance fondle his much sought after private member.

Where everyone else is naked and into the orgy in a big way, Alex sits back and watches.

The action sparks up when Tina Tinybits is found dead in the basement of Alex’s home.

Alex is suspected as only he has the key to the basement where a variety of sexual toys can be found.

Alex protests his innocence and agrees to a DNA test.

The test result startles the assembled orgy goers and will shock you the reader as well.

A novel of sexual stimulation and wet satisfaction coupled with an investigation that can only be described.

A real page-turner.

A nine-hundred-page text that will leave you………

 

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2017/10/29/sunday-writing-prompt-226-whats-in-a-name/

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing prompt | Tagged , , , | 18 Comments

Saturday Mix – Double Take, 28 October 2017

Posted on October 29, 2017 by Michael

Double Take

draft – preliminary version
draught – gust of wind; a depth of water needed to float a ship

Our second set of homophones is:

find – locate something
fined – to have to pay a penalty

 

On a cold wet winters night

There is no escaping the draught

It slips in under the door

Wraps itself around us all.

With work to be done

A draft is secured

Rough around the edges for sure.

But a start and that is that.

It had to be done to avoid the fine

To be fined for tardiness just wouldn’t do

After all there was reputation to maintain

Most people thought it came so easy.

In the recesses of my mind

Was the ideal place to find

The words to complete the draft

Letting me think of things other than the freezing draught.

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2017/10/28/saturday-mix-double-take-28-october-2017%ef%bb%bf/

Posted in Poetry, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Weekend Writing Prompt #26 – Wishes

Posted on October 29, 2017 by Michael

6555

As he walked home from school that day, his mind was full of wishes. None of which he knew could come true, but it was fun all the same thinking about each one.

The first one was that Sr. De Paul would up and die as she’d given him a hard time again that day. She was an old woman who once seated out the front of the room, stayed there and when she deemed retribution was called for would say your name in such a way you knew it wasn’t going to be a pleasant encounter. She’d find a reason to call for you. She’d seen you not concentrating, she’d found fault in your workbook, or she just thought you needed a good whacking to remind you of who was boss in the classroom. She’d grab your hand and hold it with more strength than you gave her credit for and whack you with the cane. Once you showed pain, she’d stop.

He imagined her end would be swift and that would mean she’d not be coming back. It was a good wish, but one thing he’d learned was Sr. De Paul was very resilient.

He’d switch his mind to driving. Even at ten years of age he fancied driving. An Italian sports car was his choice, and he’d drive it to and from school and be the envy of everyone. An impossible dream when he thought his parents struggled week in week out with feeding them and keeping the debt collectors away.

His final wish was that Ann George would show some liking of him. She was the prettiest girl in the class and mostly ignored him. No matter how hard he tried, she never seemed to take any interest in anything he did. As it was, Ben Ireland was her beau, and he was the most handsome boy in the school. Even so, that knowledge didn’t stop him dreaming and wishing she’d see him as the boy for her.

By the time, he’d reached home, and reality began to settle in he’d satisfied himself with his wishes never wanting to go too far as there was always tomorrow and the walk to and from school.

 

Written for: https://sammiscribbles.wordpress.com/2017/10/27/weekend-writing-prompt-26-wishes/

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing prompt | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

First Line Friday -October 27th, 2017 – Firestorm

Posted on October 28, 2017 by Michael

r0_0_729_409_w1200_h678_fmax

This week’s first line: In that moment, when flames licked the horizon and the sky burned with an orange glow, Taylor knew everything was going to be alright.

Beside him Emily slipped her hand inside his, grateful they were still together.

It had been a terrifying twenty-four hours and together they had worked to save their place as the firestorm descended on them.

Now the inferno was in the distance moving away and they each spared a thought for the people now in its path.

Around them the landscape was blackened, the only thing standing was their house. It had been a miracle that it had been saved.

The fire came at them running with a strong wind and Taylor and Emily had fought tooth and nail to prevent their home from being reduced to charred ashes.

Every spot fire they saw they raced to extinguish, it was exhausting work and they really didn’t think they had it in them, but they kept at it, dousing what they could until it became too much and their plan to hide from the heat and flames in the bunker Taylor had dug the week before was the only thing that saved them.

Inside they clung to each other as the fire raged overhead. Eventually the roar moved away and they waited another half hour before they ventured out to find their house still there, the cars and sheds all razed, the fences gone, the smoke and haze sitting on the ground as if a trophy of the calamitous event that had occurred.

Now they stood there two blacked and exhausted people surveying what they had left.

They held each other’s hand, their grip tightened as they imagined what might have happened.

In the distance they heard a truck coming down the road.

They were never so pleased to see a smiling face as the face of the fireman leaning out the fire truck’s door waving to them.

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2017/10/27/first-line-friday-october-27th-2017/

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing prompt | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Reena’s Exploration Challenge # Week 10 – Horace Skant

Posted on October 27, 2017 by Michael

rebellion

(As this is the last of Reena’s Exploration Challenges, let me say how I have enjoyed being a part of each challenge. Thanks Reena for challenging me the way you have.)

When Horace Skant was given tenure at the local university he put on hold his life’s work, at least temporarily.

Horace had spent much of his life answering the question “Why Is It So?”

So when the Dean of Philosophy, Harvey Ivehadathoughtortwo, summoned him to his office on his first day and laid out the nature of Horace’s tenure Horace saw opportunity long denied him.

Horace Skant had lived a long life, most of it on welfare as no one could stand him working for them for than a half day as Horace had a habit of regaling them with whatever discovery he had made into his life’s work.

Not many people were interested in why a cow is a cow. They are what they are but what Horace was fascinated by was how things acquired the name they did. For example he puzzled over why it was a tree was so named a tree. He turned himself in knots over why a stone came to be named a stone. Were the names given to objects random or some work of divine fate?

His first lecture at the university was on “Why Is It So?” He carried into the lecture hall a vast array of objects and away he went describing each one, detailing his evolution and finally posing the question to his students as to why the name had come about.

The result of all this was mild amusement from his students who quickly realised the eccentricity of their new teacher but also enjoyed the entertainment value his lectures presented.

The following weeks his lectures became very popular, every seat was full, the aisles crowded and some students sat upon the floor in front of him.

Not to be deterred Horace charged forward feeling he now had licence to say and talk about every thought he’d ever had. He had a captured audience and he wasn’t giving up this opportunity to tell them everything he’d thought about.

Horace was not what students expected from their philosophy teachers, he was or wasn’t depending on your point of view, teaching something but he was giving them plenty to think about.

Many questioned his sanity, as he challenged most of societies conventions, he seemed to advocate anarchy some weeks and spiritual healing other weeks.

One week he threw open the lecture for questions and spent the entire lecture time engaged in discussion with his students, often arguing, sometimes agreeing but always attentive and respectful.

It was easy to see Horace Skant as a crackpot, an eccentric and a performer but not one student ever questioned his passion, no matter how misguided it appeared to be.

 

Written for: https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2017/10/27/reenas-exploration-challenge-week-10/

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing prompt | Tagged , , , , | 15 Comments

Thursday photo prompt – Ebb – #writephoto

Posted on October 26, 2017 by Michael

ebb-sue-vincent

Breakfast arrived with the same sense of same old about it. The old man mixed the oats, the skim milk and water doing what was required to cook them and a few frozen raspberries to give it a bit of taste.

He sat and ate looking out over the farm beyond his back fence.

Life he decided had a way of making living more and more difficult. Like the ebb and flow of the tide his health went in almost tidal cycles. For every good day there seemed to be a bad one to follow it. Just as one issue was dealt with another raised its ugly head and he left he was back where he started.

Doing it alone wasn’t any fun. He could whinge all he liked but there was no one to hear him, no one to care. The only ones who appeared to care were the electricity and waterman who insisted he pay his bills on time.

Today he felt ok. The pain in his leg was behaving so long as he avoided the stairs and any steep inclines. His tablets awaited him as he finished his breakfast; he smiled as he recalled his old now deceased mate saying he took so many tablets he rattled as he walked on. He pretty much felt the same these days.

Sipping on his cup of tea he contemplated the day ahead. He decided as today was going to be a good day he’d enjoy it as best he could as tomorrow the ebb could turn and he could be up to his throat in the swirling tide of life.

 

Written for: https://scvincent.com/2017/10/26/thursday-photo-prompt-ebb-writephoto/

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing prompt | Tagged , , , | 15 Comments

Tale Weaver – 26/10/17 – Making Sense of Nonsense – cloppsright

Posted on October 26, 2017 by Michael

series_Nonsense

Cloppsright

 

Hello dearie have you got yours?

Yes it arrived this morning, isn’t it lovely?

It’s the best.

So compact, and I got the purple one.

Purple? Oh I didn’t know it came in purple, mine is the sky blue.

I used it as soon as it arrived.

Good isn’t it.

Marvellous.

Got my jobs done in half the time.

I love it, so smooth, so easy on the eye.

Easy on the hands too.

Got time for a cuppa?

Don’t mind if I do.

Used to be I was at it till after lunch now with my cloppsright I’m done by morning tea.

How did we get along before this?

Working our fingers to the bone.

Day in and day out.

Its technology I say.

Had to happen didn’t it.

The days of drudgery are over.

Woohoo I say.

But I wont be telling hubby.

Oh no don’t.

He’ll think I’m slacking if I say anything about having time to myself.

Less they know the better I say.

Great oaf is just as likely to want a try and break the thing.

So let’s stay mum about it ok?

Suits me.

Did you hear from Mavis?

Bakery Mavis?

No Butchers Mavis.

Oh red haired Mavis.

Yes.

No I haven’t why?

Said she had one the other day I was in there buying a pound of sausages. Bragging about it she was.

Bitch.

Yes but I dare not say that to her face, she’s likely to slam you with a side of beef.

Anyway we can brag back now.

Yes we can.

Bakery Mavis had a fall you know.

Did she?

Arse over head as she was taking a cake out of the oven.

Hope she’s all right, I thought it was a bun in the oven she had.

You are a cow. She’s all good and tough as they come.

Not like Knitting Mavis.

No poor pet.

Slipped on a ball of No 5 fine spun.

Did her hip I heard.

Yes she’ll be out of action a while.

So who’s minding the shop?

Bus stop Mavis.

Bus stop still around is she.

Very round I last heard.

Well I’d best be getting my cloppsright home and packed away.

I keep mine under the bed.

Mine’s in the bathroom cupboard.

I think I’ll give a whirl when I get home.

Me too.

Does that vibration through the handle give you a buzz?

Hmm yes but I didn’t want to say.

Hmm…it feels like my sleeping giant is being awakened.

Me too.

I wonder if we put them together what would happen.

One way to find out.

Ready?

One two three….

Oh my.

CLOPPS

RIGHT!

(Collectively) WOOHOO!

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2017/10/26/tale-weaver-261017-making-sense-of-nonsense-cloppsright/

 

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing prompt | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments