Sunday Writing Prompt #226 – What’s in a Name?

10 Book titles: ACTUAL book titles – and your mission is to read the list, stop long enough from your gut splitting laughter, compose yourself, then choose a few from the list – and write:
write the “jacket blurb” – in no more than 10 sentences. Choose no more than 3 selections

 

Here are your titles:

  • People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to do About it
  • Living with Crazy Buttocks
  • Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy
  • Don’t Tell Mum I Work on The Rigs, She Thinks I’m a Piano Player in a Whorehouse
  • Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop and Other Practical Advice in Our Campaign Against the Fairy Kingdom
  • Managing a Dental Practice, The Genghis Kahn Way
  • The Pyromaniac’s Cookbook
  • The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
  • Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand: And Other Life (and Death) Lessons from the Front Line of Forensics
  • Sunbeams May Be Extracted from Cucumbers, But the Process is Tedious

 

  • Living with Crazy Buttocks

In this less than riveting novel, the plight of the protagonist is one you can’t help but feel some affection for.

The author, obviously writing from real life, describes the life of Angus Arsewetter, when his bottom decides it doesn’t like him and wants out.

Easier said than done.

He consults a range of medical people who become increasingly vague as time goes on.

There are moments when the plot labours and other’s where the plot has you rolling on the ground in sheer relief that it’s not you with this situation.

The love of his life, the less than encouraging, Mary “The Mental Case” Donovan tries her best to support and love him but struggles as one would with a man whose arse that doesn’t want to be there.

Of course, there is much to be revealed within the torrid pages of his novel.

Why does his bottom dislike him so much?

But what has Angus done to his bottom?

Read on brave purchasers of this text, discovery awaits you.

 

  • People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to do About it

This book is more a treatise of a philosophical nature.

At least that is what the author, Miles Fandango, would like you to believe.

There is a riveting chapter about discovering the dead who are attached to you, and you’ll be surprised to learn it can be more than one.

Miles Fandango has thoroughly researched this topic and presented a plan anyone could apply to their lives should they discover a dead person sitting on their shoulders.

He asks many questions, provides no answers, but all the same throwing the onus of discovery onto the shoulders of the living.

For the reader, Chapter Six, why the dead won’t go into your bathroom is an eye-opener.

Seeing your private bits is an abhorrence to them.

Hence there is great hilarity in the final words of the chapter.

This text is a must-read for anyone who has exhausted their already immense reading list.

A philosophical discussion you may never recover from.

 

Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy

This nine-hundred-page tome leaves little to the imagination.

The story of Alex “The Horse” Benson, a legendary participant in weekend orgies.

Alex upsets the applecart of the weekend orgy by refusing to get drunk, take drugs and let the women in attendance fondle his much sought after private member.

Where everyone else is naked and into the orgy in a big way, Alex sits back and watches.

The action sparks up when Tina Tinybits is found dead in the basement of Alex’s home.

Alex is suspected as only he has the key to the basement where a variety of sexual toys can be found.

Alex protests his innocence and agrees to a DNA test.

The test result startles the assembled orgy goers and will shock you the reader as well.

A novel of sexual stimulation and wet satisfaction coupled with an investigation that can only be described.

A real page-turner.

A nine-hundred-page text that will leave you………

 

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2017/10/29/sunday-writing-prompt-226-whats-in-a-name/

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18 Responses to Sunday Writing Prompt #226 – What’s in a Name?

  1. scribblersdip says:

    Snorting with absolute delight! 😀

    Michael, you’ve outdone yourself here! You’ve clearly went town and I have to say, and this is a genuine compliment, but reading your “jacket blurbs” has me wanting to read these books. At least, the versions you’re presenting! LOL – I mean, the names you’ve come up with? this alone is on par for your usual standard of double take – double meaning etc. and the ideas are equal parts mischief and serious tone – a perfect blend!

    Great job with the Sunday Writing prompt – I hope you’ve had as much fun with this as I’ve enjoyed reading 🙂 thanks for playing

  2. Loved your takes Michael. I opted for two of your three choices. Fun challenge from Pat this week.

  3. Vivian Zems says:

    Excellent, Michael. Loved each blurb. Had me laughing my head off!

  4. Lorraine says:

    Michael, you missed a calling. You should be working for a publishing house concocting jacket blurbs. I suspect you could make ANY book sound like a “fun” read.

  5. Michael, reading the blurbs ,makes me to search for these titles in Kindle version. Great share.

  6. -Eugenia says:

    OMW! Hilarious stuff.

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