SoCS July 29/17 – limb


“Paddy, you haven’t a leg to stand on,” she said, “you were seen there, identified as the one there is no point denying it.”

I stood and listened wondering what I could say that might get me out of this tight situation.

“To make it worse, it was your arse that was seen through the window. How humiliating for me, you arse, on display for all to see.”

There was a silence for a moment or two as she waited for me to say something. I could just see her mind ticking over waiting for me to justify my actions.

“Now,” I said having gained some inner strength, “I might go out on a limb here and say it’s very hard for anyone no matter how prejudiced to claim the arse in question was mine. Arses are all the same. Two cheeks and a crack, how could anyone say it was mine?”

“You idiot,” she said rolling her eyes, “you forgot about the tattoo. ‘I’m all Linda’s’ in bold type across both cheeks?”

I stopped what I was about to say when the limb I was out on snapped beneath me and down I went into the proverbial morass of my own making.

The wife left me standing there, totally gormless, unable to utter a word in my defence and laughed hysterically as she left the room.

“Out on a limb.” I heard her say. “You moron Paddy.”

Written for:


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24 Responses to SoCS July 29/17 – limb

  1. Fandango says:

    And this is why I’ve never gotten a tattoo.

  2. puppy1952 says:

    Great story! Gave me a good laugh.

  3. Jael Sook says:

    Very delightful…I have such a visual mind 🙂 And as another noted, one of the reasons I have no tattoos…

  4. scribblersdip says:

    roflmAo – dead brilliant – and I love how you’ve captured the essence, the tones, the vibrations of the words spoken here – it is damn perfect Michael – and brilliantly funny! 😀

    • Michael says:

      Thanks Pat, I found it a fun piece to write….I remember a scene in a movie where a character states he often wondered what motivated him to get the tatto he did, this guy is probably wondering the same now.

  5. LindaGHill says:

    Hahahahaha! It is now my life’s goal to have someone tattoo “I’m all Linda’s” on their arse. 😀

    • Michael says:

      Well you’ll have to take my word for it…there ain’t no photos coming from this part of the world…lol….though you’d have to wonder how this guy could be so naive…
      Hope you weekend is going along fine Linda..

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