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And so, the game went on. Greg and Wayne loved word games. It was there chance to outdo the other and not feel the urge to resort to violence.
When you are an entity of the highest order, it is unbecoming to be seen to be physically at odds with each other. So, they played word games in the few minutes of downtime they had.
For let’s be honest when you are in the business of collecting souls there is not a lot of downtime on any given day.
So, there they were in Marge’s Café, the only place on earth they had discovered where the coffee was palatable, enjoying each other’s company as they always did when their soul counters went off.
“Goodness,” exclaimed Greg, “four at once I wonder what has happened?”
“I’m reading an atrocity,” replied Wayne licking his lips at the possibility of a number of souls for his downstairs department.
“You are right,” said Greg wincing at the news as he read it. “Seems a man has driven a car into pedestrians, killed a few, injured many, then tried to attack the police and was shot. He’ll be yours no doubt,” he said aiming his words at Wayne.
“Let’s go and see,” suggested Wayne.
So, off the two entities went. They found a scene of mayhem and chaos. The souls in question were already milling about unsure of what might be happening next.
Wayne gave a whistle, and they turned towards him.
“Victims,” he said to Greg with a clear distaste in his mouth.
At the end of the queue was Cletus, the perpetrator of the crime. Cletus’ soul was looking alarmingly satisfied with itself.
Immediately Greg and Wayne knew what this guy was all about.
“Oh dear,” said Greg looking Cletus over.
“What are you going to do with him?” asked Wayne.
“Me? I’m having nothing to do with him. He’s a ‘crime against humanity’, he’s one for you.”
“What about your boss and his infinite mercy?”
“Believe me there is a limit to that upstairs.”
“Well we don’t want him either, his sort gives us a bad name.”
“We both know he won’t be coming upstairs, there’s no way the boss will tolerate behaviour like his.” announced Greg as he ushered the newly dead forward.
“Seems such a waste, doesn’t it? Cletus looks happy, he expects virgins, there aren’t any, he expects paradise, there won’t be any, and the best he can expect is an eternity in the slime pits,” said Wayne with a tone of disappointment in his voice for the gullibility Cletus had apparently shown in life.
“He’ll be in good company, won’t he?”
“Oh, yes a happy lot down there. Eternity shovelling slime, only to shorten the course of your eternity as once the slime hits you it begins to dissolve your bits until, well until, your head remains and we have quite the collection now days. It’s all your bosses fault of course. If he’d only listened when he made humanity and not given them choice none of this would be necessary. But would he listen, no! Said let’s see what happens when we let them decide.”
“Well it’s kept us in a job, you have to admit that. And you and I have become good friends,” said Greg thinking of how lonely and boring eternity might have been if he and Wayne had not become friends.
“Well let’s get on then. I’ll take this lot upstairs, see how they fare, you never know one or two might end up with you yet,” said Greg, gathering the newly created souls.
“Righto, see you when I do. Come on Cletus let’s get this disappointment over with,” said Wayne to the still hopeful Cletus…