Whiteout Wednesdays #8 – Elegy

 Elegy by Mary  
frozen   in February.
winging   ugly
Imperfect   line,
of  buildings.
flag flapping
An orange curtain
hurts     so bright.
sight
looks back
the butter knife.
awkwardness.
makes   pilgrimage
Through riff-raff
into the caprice
a pony
circle’s
but never
certainty. Nothing
malleable
Only yesterday breathing
summer sun
The sand   hot.
yesterday tender hearted
Waiting.
A spring.
a heart   to suffer
experience.    you be the girl
red sequins   selling love.
You,   in black satin.
be the Maiden’s   Death.

 

The original text:

February Elegy by Mary Jo Bang
© Mary Jo Bang

This bald year, frozen now in February.
This cold day winging over the ugly
Imperfect horizon line,
So often a teeth line of ten buildings.
A red flag flapping
In the wind. An orange curtain is noon.
It all hurts her eyes. This curtain is so bright.
Here is what is noticeably true: sight.
The face that looks back from the side
Of the butter knife.
A torn-bread awkwardness.
The mind makes its daily pilgrimage
Through riff-raff moments. Then,
Back into the caprice case to dream
In a circle, a pony goes round.
The circle’s association: There’s a center
To almost everything but never
Any certainty. Nothing is
More malleable than a moment. We were
Only yesterday breathing in a sea.
Some summer sun
Asked us over and over we went. The sand was hot.
We were only yesterday tender hearted
Waiting. To be something.
A spring. And then someone says, Sit down,
We have a heart for you to forget. A mind to suffer
With. So, experience. So, the circus tent.
You, over there, you be the girl
In red sequins on the front of a card selling love.
You, over there, you, in black satin.
You be the Maiden’s Mister Death.

 

Written for: https://blackcatalleyblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/whiteout-wednesdays-8/

This entry was posted in Poetry, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Whiteout Wednesdays #8 – Elegy

  1. wordwitch88 says:

    Thank you Michael 🙂

    Another really interesting white out here – I’m sitting with the original – digesting it – and now am sitting with your version – how some of the essences have changed, by simple means of editing out – and how you have infused a slightly different timbre into this piece. The words “winging ugly” and “an orange curtain hurts so bright” … “sight looks back / the butter knife/ awkwardness” …. and then “caprice” and it all just keeps building …. so flutedly melodic in a slightly tragic way.

    Yup …. just sitting here soaking it all in. 🙂

    • Michael says:

      Its an interesting process Pat, you are in effect making a new sense from the words of the poem, and as Kat has commented it is a calming process, which words essentially work best with other words to create a meaning….

      • wordwitch88 says:

        I’m glad that you and others are enjoying it – that it brings something “new” to the creative table …. 🙂 And I just love reading all of these wonderful pieces 🙂

        Hope you have a wonderful end of the week and weekend Michael 🙂

  2. mandibelle16 says:

    This is fantastic! Great job

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