Whiteout Wednesdays #8 – Elegy

 Elegy by Mary  
frozen   in February.
winging   ugly
Imperfect   line,
of  buildings.
flag flapping
An orange curtain
hurts     so bright.
looks back
the butter knife.
makes   pilgrimage
Through riff-raff
into the caprice
a pony
but never
certainty. Nothing
Only yesterday breathing
summer sun
The sand   hot.
yesterday tender hearted
A spring.
a heart   to suffer
experience.    you be the girl
red sequins   selling love.
You,   in black satin.
be the Maiden’s   Death.


The original text:

February Elegy by Mary Jo Bang
© Mary Jo Bang

This bald year, frozen now in February.
This cold day winging over the ugly
Imperfect horizon line,
So often a teeth line of ten buildings.
A red flag flapping
In the wind. An orange curtain is noon.
It all hurts her eyes. This curtain is so bright.
Here is what is noticeably true: sight.
The face that looks back from the side
Of the butter knife.
A torn-bread awkwardness.
The mind makes its daily pilgrimage
Through riff-raff moments. Then,
Back into the caprice case to dream
In a circle, a pony goes round.
The circle’s association: There’s a center
To almost everything but never
Any certainty. Nothing is
More malleable than a moment. We were
Only yesterday breathing in a sea.
Some summer sun
Asked us over and over we went. The sand was hot.
We were only yesterday tender hearted
Waiting. To be something.
A spring. And then someone says, Sit down,
We have a heart for you to forget. A mind to suffer
With. So, experience. So, the circus tent.
You, over there, you be the girl
In red sequins on the front of a card selling love.
You, over there, you, in black satin.
You be the Maiden’s Mister Death.


Written for: https://blackcatalleyblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/whiteout-wednesdays-8/

This entry was posted in Poetry, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Whiteout Wednesdays #8 – Elegy

  1. wordwitch88 says:

    Thank you Michael 🙂

    Another really interesting white out here – I’m sitting with the original – digesting it – and now am sitting with your version – how some of the essences have changed, by simple means of editing out – and how you have infused a slightly different timbre into this piece. The words “winging ugly” and “an orange curtain hurts so bright” … “sight looks back / the butter knife/ awkwardness” …. and then “caprice” and it all just keeps building …. so flutedly melodic in a slightly tragic way.

    Yup …. just sitting here soaking it all in. 🙂

    • Michael says:

      Its an interesting process Pat, you are in effect making a new sense from the words of the poem, and as Kat has commented it is a calming process, which words essentially work best with other words to create a meaning….

      • wordwitch88 says:

        I’m glad that you and others are enjoying it – that it brings something “new” to the creative table …. 🙂 And I just love reading all of these wonderful pieces 🙂

        Hope you have a wonderful end of the week and weekend Michael 🙂

  2. mandibelle16 says:

    This is fantastic! Great job

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