SoCS July 25/15 – Vision


Badge: Doobster @ Mindful Digressions

This week’s word/prompt: vis in any form/s you feel fit….

I had a vision.

It all started when I went on a trip to a friend’s birthday party.

Revelation is such a wonderful thing when it hits you. Just when you think its safe to go out POW it gets you right in the kisser.

This vision was an insight into the lives of two old folks in a nursing home.

Married for over seventy years they had spent a long time together and in their final years were sharing a small room in the nursing home.

When I visited they were watching the TV, some right wing radically politician commentator was on sprouting his bias. Why they watched him I don’t know maybe the channel was stuck on that channel I wasn’t sure.

I was told previous to going there that the woman had dementia descending upon her and that I might have to experience her decline in some unfortunate ways.

But contrary to this she appeared in good spirits. She was lucid, knew who I was, knew where she was could hold a good conversation.

She had me well and truly conned until she made mention of wanting to work in the kitchen, to chop the carrots, anything to feel useful. But the nursing home staff were not going to allow that.

Then she told me about wanting to go across the road to work in the bakery, just to help out, no pay involved.

She again said the reason was to feel useful.

What she wasn’t aware of was that the shop across the road was across a four-lane highway with no crossing within two hundred yards either side of the nursing home. That she had limited mobility never entered her head.

So my vision was of the sad decline that happens to those we love suffering from decline of mental faculties.

I left her still arguing about the merits of helping out.

As we drove off I said to my friend you have to laugh don’t you at what she says, otherwise we’d go mad understanding the destruction old age and dementia bring.

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33 Responses to SoCS July 25/15 – Vision

  1. Ouf, this hit home:( beautiful penned as always, Michael.

  2. LindaGHill says:

    Yep, I’m watching it happen to my mother in much the same way. It’s hard… but at times she’ll even laugh with me.
    Great story, Michael. 🙂

  3. mandy says:

    This is dreadfully sad and happening all across the world. I hear more and more stories like this from the loved ones who have to watch the decline helplessly. There was something about this story, Michael, that felt good–the woman talked of wanting to help, to be useful in some way. In my mind, I was thinking, she’s still got something in there. I wished someone could give her a little something to do. But, maybe the thought would be gone by the time they took her to the kitchen. I just said I wished… Great post, Michael.

    • Thanks Mandy. I thought she was quite lucid until she started on this. Sad part was she was thinking she could do the things she wanted to do.

      • mandy says:

        I haven’t had to deal with anyone suffering dementia. I’d have a very hard time with it. As you can see, I’d try to find a way to “fix” it, and obviously, I’ve heard enough of these sad stories to know it’s not possible. Many kudos to the loved ones who hang in there with them. It’s terribly hard on them, too. Thank you for sharing that story. It really spotlights what it would be like.

  4. Suzanne says:

    Dementia is incredibly cruel. My father had it. I think the cruellest bit is how the person with the disease doesn’t realise but those closest to them see the decline.

  5. HumaAq says:

    Poor old people are thrown to nursing homes. For some it’s still good since they’ve never been there for their children to teach them good but some who have still get the backs .. Old age should be cherished just much

  6. herheadache says:

    I fight the future because I don’t want to think this could or would happen to the strong and capable people that are my parents.
    There’s no way to stop time though.

  7. Valida Faire says:

    Oh my, that is painful–and touching, that even still she wanted to be useful… So, I gather the party wasn’t entirely fun for you.

  8. phylor says:

    So resonates. It’s painful to watch someone descend into dementia. Sometimes, the person will come back for a while and realize what they are losing. That is sadness personified.

  9. Our parents are gone and only one had dementia. It was heartbreaking to see how the disease took her courage and will. Thanks Michael.

  10. That woman asking to do something useful reminded me that here in a dementia care facility they do give the people “something to do.” They find out by talking to the person and their families what the person liked to do and then try to engage them in something similar. They have some of the people set the table or fold some laundry and cooking with staff. I don’t think that woman was too far off in wanting to do something.

  11. Prajakta says:

    Powerful Michael. I remember my grandfather. Till the end he insisted on doing some errand – to feel useful and not just a “dependent”. Even if it was as small as filling up the water bottles or getting pens for us.

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