Badge: Doobster @ Mindful Digressions
This week’s word/prompt: vis in any form/s you feel fit….
I had a vision.
It all started when I went on a trip to a friend’s birthday party.
Revelation is such a wonderful thing when it hits you. Just when you think its safe to go out POW it gets you right in the kisser.
This vision was an insight into the lives of two old folks in a nursing home.
Married for over seventy years they had spent a long time together and in their final years were sharing a small room in the nursing home.
When I visited they were watching the TV, some right wing radically politician commentator was on sprouting his bias. Why they watched him I don’t know maybe the channel was stuck on that channel I wasn’t sure.
I was told previous to going there that the woman had dementia descending upon her and that I might have to experience her decline in some unfortunate ways.
But contrary to this she appeared in good spirits. She was lucid, knew who I was, knew where she was could hold a good conversation.
She had me well and truly conned until she made mention of wanting to work in the kitchen, to chop the carrots, anything to feel useful. But the nursing home staff were not going to allow that.
Then she told me about wanting to go across the road to work in the bakery, just to help out, no pay involved.
She again said the reason was to feel useful.
What she wasn’t aware of was that the shop across the road was across a four-lane highway with no crossing within two hundred yards either side of the nursing home. That she had limited mobility never entered her head.
So my vision was of the sad decline that happens to those we love suffering from decline of mental faculties.
I left her still arguing about the merits of helping out.
As we drove off I said to my friend you have to laugh don’t you at what she says, otherwise we’d go mad understanding the destruction old age and dementia bring.
Written for: http://lindaghill.com/2015/07/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-2515/
Morpethroad 
Ouf, this hit home:( beautiful penned as always, Michael.
Thank you C-L
Have a great weekend.
Yep, I’m watching it happen to my mother in much the same way. It’s hard… but at times she’ll even laugh with me.
Great story, Michael. 🙂
Thanks Linda, so sorry to hear you are going through this at this time. My thoughts are with you, its a tough gig to be part of…
It is. But like anything else, you make the best of it. 🙂
There’s not much else you can do Linda.
This is dreadfully sad and happening all across the world. I hear more and more stories like this from the loved ones who have to watch the decline helplessly. There was something about this story, Michael, that felt good–the woman talked of wanting to help, to be useful in some way. In my mind, I was thinking, she’s still got something in there. I wished someone could give her a little something to do. But, maybe the thought would be gone by the time they took her to the kitchen. I just said I wished… Great post, Michael.
Thanks Mandy. I thought she was quite lucid until she started on this. Sad part was she was thinking she could do the things she wanted to do.
I haven’t had to deal with anyone suffering dementia. I’d have a very hard time with it. As you can see, I’d try to find a way to “fix” it, and obviously, I’ve heard enough of these sad stories to know it’s not possible. Many kudos to the loved ones who hang in there with them. It’s terribly hard on them, too. Thank you for sharing that story. It really spotlights what it would be like.
Dementia is incredibly cruel. My father had it. I think the cruellest bit is how the person with the disease doesn’t realise but those closest to them see the decline.
Thanks Suzanne it is a very sad illness to watch as loved ones slip away from us.
yes – it’s terrible. Coming to terms with what’s happening can be very difficult.
Poor old people are thrown to nursing homes. For some it’s still good since they’ve never been there for their children to teach them good but some who have still get the backs .. Old age should be cherished just much
Hi Huma, thanks so much for stopping by and leaving me a comment, appreciate you taking the time. Yes I agree old age should be cherished. Have a good weekend…
Very welcome
I fight the future because I don’t want to think this could or would happen to the strong and capable people that are my parents.
😦
There’s no way to stop time though.
Sadly you are right, it doesn’t appear to discriminate between its victims. Thanks so much for reading and your comment.
Oh my, that is painful–and touching, that even still she wanted to be useful… So, I gather the party wasn’t entirely fun for you.
Well half the party was, it went a bit pear shaped towards the end….
Oh, I’m so sorry–I was looking forward to a jolly report. Pear-shaped is a wonderful description of the falling ending, though.
Yes ended on Tuesday with an attempted suicide…..all good now though but terrifying at the time. Not me but friends daughter.
Oh NO! My heart goes out to her–and the family; so frightening–a helpless feeling.
Helpless is the word. Thankfully I am now home.
I hope the young woman will be able to get good help. I’m well familiar with that level of desperation–it’s a complicated issue in and of itself, made more so when the ripple effects cause people to be less than supportive. I’ll keep her in my prayers, and the family as well.
So resonates. It’s painful to watch someone descend into dementia. Sometimes, the person will come back for a while and realize what they are losing. That is sadness personified.
Yes very much indeed. I see it in so many of my friends who have a patent go down that path.
As Mandy suggests, dementia and Alzheimer’s are on the increase. People may live longer due to modern medicine, and improved life styles, but at what cost?
Our parents are gone and only one had dementia. It was heartbreaking to see how the disease took her courage and will. Thanks Michael.
Heartbreaking it certainly is John.
I hope you have a good weekend.
Thanks. You as well.
That woman asking to do something useful reminded me that here in a dementia care facility they do give the people “something to do.” They find out by talking to the person and their families what the person liked to do and then try to engage them in something similar. They have some of the people set the table or fold some laundry and cooking with staff. I don’t think that woman was too far off in wanting to do something.
Powerful Michael. I remember my grandfather. Till the end he insisted on doing some errand – to feel useful and not just a “dependent”. Even if it was as small as filling up the water bottles or getting pens for us.
Thanks Praj, I appreciate you stopping by.
Good that he felt able to do something as many don’t and can’t.