Music Prompt #1 “Saint Lawrence River” – Inner Struggle

This week’s prompt is based on the above song by David Usher.

There comes a morning when a lie

Surfaces its ugly head

Infiltrates my mind

Everything is pretence.

Around me people I thought friends

Laugh loudly

I told you so they said

The fantasy is just that

All make believe.

My head snaps awake

The day stretches out before me

My love sleeps peacefully

Oblivious to what my mind is screaming at me

But I have been here so often

I know so well the contours

It web of twists and turns.

In my journal I record this dream

I also rewrite my mantra

The stark reality of my life.

I hate depression

Its eats me up

Spits me out

It makes me eat, it starves my soul

Puts me in dark places

Tells me I am worthless

There’s no point to life

Everybody hates me

I should go eat worms.

I hide from the world

Who’d want to know?

Who’d understand?

Why reach out when my pathetic being

Repulses everyone around me.

In the predawn light you stir

You are my life, my light

You see I have been struggling

Your arms encircle me

My head you lay upon your breast

As you patiently coax me

To recount the horrors

To swear and curse the demons within me.

After we lie together

You stroke my head,

You smile a radiating love

I feel so lucky

You are here always to hold my hand.

It’s later over coffee

When I tell you

What you mean to me

No matter how often the inner struggle occurs

You are there and I love that you are

You save me each time,

You ask no payment

Just my continued love.

Its over coffee that I tell you,

I watch as you smile

Then those magic-humbling words

I love you

I’m so happy you are here.

Written for:

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24 Responses to Music Prompt #1 “Saint Lawrence River” – Inner Struggle

  1. I am experiencing a wash of emotions Michael, nearly in tears. I can relate to this piece the Depression and the great love as well. Both my husband and I suffer with Depression so we go through this scene nearly everyday sometimes I am the one supporting, sometimes I am the one breaking. Powerful and poignant writing.

  2. phylor says:

    Like Yves, you poem brought tears. You describe the inner struggle of depression so well. Love, when given freely, does help.
    On a silly note: My grandmother taught me a song: “Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me, I’m going to eat some worms.” I’ve never seen it used in a powerful piece of writing before.

    • Do you know the rest of it?
      Bite their heads off
      suck their guts out…..
      Thank you friend for your lovely comment……

      • phylor says:

        I learned “I’m going to eat some worms
        Short fat ones, long thin skinny ones
        I’m going to eat some worms.”
        My grandmother was not the sort to discuss sucking guts.

      • oh yes well that bit about guts could a crude Australian version, not the sort you refined ladies of the north would have any truck with….

  3. phylor says:

    I should confess the awful truth.
    My family name is unusual. Especially our spelling. There are people in Australia with my last name.
    So, I have crude relatives in Australia, North America, and England.
    My uncle described my paternal family as “Rude, crude, and socially unacceptable.” And, that’s the Canadian branch!

    • Now you have me curious, what if I knew one of them?
      We all have sort of black sheep in our families it goes with our histories. So why an awful truth?

      • phylor says:

        Tongue in cheek, I promise.
        My grandmother wouldn’t accept how potential relatives might have arrived in Australia!
        I just manage to have more black sheep than most — and that’s still here in North America, on both sides.

    • mj6969 says:

      Well three cheers and all hail to those who are “real” – and please, pass a brew – an ice cold one 😉

      Sheesh – lovely “judgement” – but hey, labels are as only as restrictive as we choose to let them lie on us. Or for that matter, to us.

      • phylor says:

        I like the quirky, eccentric relatives and the stories told of them. I remember as a child, sitting quiet and still under the kitchen table so I could hear of their escapades.
        Black sheep, tongue in cheek, best describes me, too.

      • mj6969 says:

        Well … then I must say “BAAAAAAA – welcome to the fold” XD

  4. The Real Cie says:

    Depression, that old “friend” that I just can’t get rid of. It’s scared away many a fair weather friend. My existence is a lonely one, but at least I don’t have to worry about being saddled with false friends.
    You’re lucky to have found someone who cares about you as you are, not only when you’re fun and entertaining.

  5. mandy says:

    Like other commenters here, Michael, the connection you made of the Usher song to the writing stirred a lot of emotion in me. When you’ve been touched (cursed?) by depression, it’s easy to feel that “Why reach out when my pathetic being Repulses everyone around me?” The rest of the piece answers that question. We never know when that special someone will come along who won’t be repulsed, and will actually help lift that nasty cloud. Thanks so much for the great post.

    • Thanks Mandy, we all live in hope, we all live to find someone who sees past the self we maybe don’t like and sees a person of worth and substance. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your insights….

  6. mj6969 says:

    A very powerful piece – evoking quite deep emotions and sentiments by all stopping in. I think you did a wonderful job “running off” from the prompt inspiration. Hard to follow on creating something so emotionally engaging after listening to the song, and reading the lyrics. So very well done Michael 🙂

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