Prompt 53 The Perfect Crime – Take Out the Cat

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Sam looked down his short little nose and gestured that the meeting come to order. His companions, Boxer and Boof were a disorderly two and it wasn’t until he growled towards them that they became aware of the need to pay attention to their boss.

Boxer was the muscle in this outfit and Boof was Sam’s go to guy. The three of them had been a team since the day Boof arrived in the back of the car, a scraggly underfed pug, afraid of most things until he found his feet in this new household.

Boxer was a boxer, big and mean looking but without much of a brain to bless himself with.

Sam was your Heinz variety, but a small intelligent dog, a right little schemer and planner and he had a plan this evening, a very cunning plan at that.

‘Its time,’ he said. ‘That Fluff got its comeuppance.’ The other dogs nodded in agreement. Around the house it was clear to the three dogs that Fluff had first call on most things, food, shelter and most of all, the toilet. That Fluff had its own toilet in the laundry incensed the dogs no end. They had to find a spot out on the lawn, and in some weathers it was impossible to find a dry spot to sit your butt on.

‘Its time,’ said Sam, ‘For Fluff to go. I’ve had enough of its pathetic meowing every time I growl at it. Things have been going from bad to worse round her and I’m for taking the cat out. Are you guys with me?’

His request was greeted by a series of happy barks as agreement was signalled by the mass wagging of tails, even though Boxer didn’t have one, what stump he had vibrated as if a dog possessed with conviction.

‘We are gonna have to act and take the cat out and no one is the know what happened. It’ll be like the cat was never here.’

Boof then raised the question of how?

Sam looked at him and wondered how Boof had managed to get through life with a brain the size of a pea. He looked at Boxer who was blessed with no brain at all which in Sam’s reckoning made him a perfect enforcer, nothing to think with meant, Boxer acted and acted usually on instinct. Sam liked Boxer; he liked the simple way Boxer thought, or rather didn’t think.

‘Tonight,’ announced Sam, ‘When they are all in bed, we take out the cat. We lure it out of the house and when it’s out we pounce, Boxer you’ve got to act quickly and disarm the cat. Remember its claws are its biggest weapon, so grab it around his neck; it can’t do anything when you do that, I’ve the people pick it up that way and Fluff is toast when they do so it should work for us.’

‘Boof you have to be at the well, get the lid off, you do it often enough to do your business down there so it will be no problem will it?’

Boof shook his head in agreement.

‘When the lids off Boxer you drop the fluff ball down the well, Boof you drop the lid back down, no one will hear it down there and I’ll get rid of its litter tray so it looks like its moved out.’

Sam surveyed his forces, thought momentarily of a thousand things that could go wrong but dismissed them as he had told himself he had to have faith in his men.

‘Ok you guys know your jobs?’

There was general wagging and yelping in agreement and an air of expectation and excitement hung in the air. Life with out a fluff ball cat, how good would that be.

The next morning there was considerable consternation within the house, as Fluff could not be found. Outside the three dogs lined up as always to receive their morning feed.

To a human a dog’s smile is not always detected. Needless to say the dogs innocent look was what the humans saw, what they didn’t see was the look of contentment, the satisfaction in their eyes of a job well done, of a removal no one would suspect them of perpetrating.

 

Written for: http://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2014/04/27/prompt-53-the-perfect-crime/

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42 Responses to Prompt 53 The Perfect Crime – Take Out the Cat

  1. LOL this is brilliant Michael absolutely brilliant! Love the personalities of the pets excellent job!

  2. A cleaver dog that Sam is so is this story you wrote. It was fun to read.

  3. Haha what an imagination!!! Great story but had to hide it from Bette.

  4. Being the dog lover that I am, I say cheers and hooray! Excellent job on the story Michael, similar to the cartoon character dogs that I have seen over the years. Great dialogue and very humorous.

  5. JackieP says:

    LOL Sam you little instigator you! Bring back Fluffy! I could see it happening Michael. Very fun and funny piece.

  6. Bastet says:

    I, Bastet the Goddess of Domestic Cats do not approve of this mongral mix…I must say that I’ll just have to mention this to Sekhmet! We’ll see what these sods will do when a lioness comes chasing their tails – uh, and stubs 😉 (Great write, loved how you developed your gangstas…Georgia)

    • Thank you Georgia I figured I would raise the ire of you cat lovers but for the sake of the story someone had to suffer. Maybe my next one may focus on the cats revenge.

      • Bastet says:

        Hmmm, maybe that would molify Bastet and Sekhmet…but we know you’re an author and it’s your duty to write good fiction…really enjoyed the story, though my heart bleeds for the poor kitty.

  7. Lyn says:

    “Ding dong dell, kitty’s in the well.” Wonderful story MIchael. You’ve caught their characters perfectly. I could see it all happening. I have both a cat and a dog. The cat is a 10kg black Oriental who looks and behaves like a miniature panther. The dog is a Cavoodle (5kg) and they love each another and even groom one other. We had to get a dog basket big enough for both of them to sleep together. it’s all peace, love and mung beans at our place 😀

  8. Omigoodness – what a fun read! So cute!
    We have a schnauzer with a cropped tail, so this was my favorite line: “what stump he had vibrated as if a dog possessed with conviction” 😀

  9. Pingback: Prompt 52: The Perfect Crime! (At the Akashic Library Story) | Bastet and Sekhmet's Library

  10. RoSy says:

    LOL – says RoSy the non-cat person 😉

  11. Pingback: Pedro’s Perfect Plan (Short Story) | Blog It or Lose It!

  12. gimpet says:

    HAHAHA, got a good laugh from this, even as a cat lover! I can tell which way YOUR tail wags….

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