I have a curse. An inherited one, passed down from my mother to me.
It was her undoing at an early age, at a time when medical science didn’t know what they know today.
I do not plan to go the way she did.
I was never asked about this curse, I was never consulted; it is my lot in life.
I have no choice but to live with it.
And I do.
Daily.
It is an insidious parasite that lives within me sucking my life away.
It is such a part of my now that at times I feel it has developed a sort of intimate relationship with me, in that I know how it works, I know its daily routine and that’s where I have the upper hand in this battle.
I doubt it sees me that way.
I fight daily.
Drugs that delay it progress, diet that starves it of the things it thrives on.
As I age its grip tightens but let me tell you there will be one white flag over my door.
Cursed as I am, I will fight it, as I am doing, I have too much to live for, children to watch grow as adults, grandchildren to watch grow as children and wonderful friends to commune with and one day meet.
The curse may well be within me but it is not me.
To most people they will never know, there is no black mark over me, no scars, it all happens inside of me and my mind sets itself to fight with all its might to stave off any progress it may be contemplating.
Everyday I remind myself as to who is running my life, ME, never this pervasive curse.
There are days when I am sure it thinks it has the upper hand, days where I am exhausted from the battle, for that is its strategy to wear me down, a little at a time until I can no longer stand to carry on my fight.
If and when that happens I will know it has won, but not yet, dear God, not yet, there is much to live for.
Morpethroad 
Wow, amazing, and yes, so much to live for! A valiant battle and a brilliant take on the prompt! I hope you are ok though, don’t like to think of you having to deal with such a struggle if this is derived from real life! 🙂
Thanks Helen, well I shall tell you the story some time.
This gave me chills it is so powerful and well frightening. I am sending you hugs and positive vibes. What a courageous and strong man you are! My cousin was born with a nevus on the back of her head she has had countless painful surgeries (she was an emaciated looking but happy child despite this and despite the bullying) and it predisposes her to tumors and a few years ago so developed tumors all through her pelvic region. She is fine now but will her whole life she has to face tumors and more surgery. She in one of the strongest people I know.
Thanks Yves, mine is as I describe above but I am still me despite it all. I still love and need to be loved, and i do as i say, fight it every day. Its my way of life and I still remain the person i am. Thank you for the hugs and support I do appreciate it, for despite everything there are people far worse off than me.
Of course you need and deserve love. You are a brilliant writer and a wise compassionate and encouraging man who I am so happy to have met you. I wish you all the best (hugs)
Oh thank you Yves, (hugs returned) You are pretty amazing as well and as I have said before I love attempting your prompts, always a challenge.
I love having you, you always knock it out of the park
We all bear challenges, don’t we? And isn’t always the way that when people here (or read) that every day is a battle of some sort, but it is now just something that you ‘do’, people are shocked and surprised.
This is powerful writing, from a man who I understand to be a quietly strong person (all gleaned from your writing!). Very well done – and keep up the fight. Wishing you love and light xx
Thank you Freya I wrote this as my curse, and yes i do live with it aad yes I fight it, but to me this is my life but I do appreciate all the kind words expressed and sent my way tonight, its all a bit overwhelming but I am very very grateful. Thank you Freya you are a dear person.
My first compliment of the day – thank you 🙂
Yes, we just pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and do it all over again.
That’s so right, what else can i do, or any of us for that matter. Compliment deserved.
Keep on fighting, sir. The curse may not deplete but it could be controlled and lived with. I am quite hopeful today, in that regard. 🙂
Wishing the best for you in life.
-HA
Thanks HA, that is very kind of you to say. Don’t worry I am.
Such beautiful and warming compliments. This curse shall not beat you, it may wear you down but you will stand strong. You grow stronger by the day and your writing has helped you do this. Take Care my friend, the only ‘thing’ that should be sucking the life out of you now is your Muse/s.
Thanks Jenny. I love this comment. You are a lovely friend to me.
shucks – go away wid’ ya 😉 as are you too me – so we’re even.
There’s so much depth so much truth in this. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks Dean, sorry for not replying before somehow I missed this comment.
What an excellent subject for CURSE. Yes, genetic inheritance is the worst curse there is, in my nursing opinion. The daily struggle of illness and disease wax and wane with the daily stuggle to keep one’s thought upbeat. At least I find it so. I am so glad that you live in an era where medicine and research can help prolong your life, even at the cost of the symptoms and medications. And you are blessed to have family who make you want to ‘fight this good fight’.
Thank you gimpet
I really like how you brought this topic to light & I love how you fight it with all your might. You’ve got this one – no doubt about it 😉
Thank you RoSy, that’s a lovely comment and I so love to read your comments, you are always so positive. Thank you again. For me it is day to day, it is my life, I still love, breath and eat…though not everything which is a bit of a bummer…but hey a small sacrifice to stay upright.
“Everyday I remind myself as to who is running my life, ME” – very well said. Would love to make these words my life motto. Admire your strength and ability to stay positive no matter what!!!
You are inspiring. That positive outlook will keep you here a long time. My mother had lupus. She died 20 years ago. Same thing not enough medical knowledge. She didn’t talk about her illness so I can only assume. I know that the lupus attacked her heart and she died at 64. Young at today’s standards. They watch my kidneys because they say at some point the lupus will attack it. So far they are fine. Like you say, knowing your body helps you have control on your health. Having knowledge of your illness really helps when talking with your doctors.
Thanks Kim. I have known about this for many years, I have regular check ups and tests, I take the latest drug that is showing a positive impact on my kidneys, I try an stick to my diet but it is very hard, Christmas didn’t help the weigh issues for me. I. Have to be positive there is so much still to do. I’d miss chatting with good people like you.