Hi Jim, I was intrigued by your post as I too have been giving consideration to what happens to me when I die.
My daughter has “power of attorney” which will allow her to decide what is to become of me if I cannot make any sensible decisions on my own. Such as the notion of frolicking naked in a field of daffodils.
But I decided that the cost of a funeral is as high here as anywhere. So I came across a company who will take charge of my body when I die and, after I am cremated, will return my ashes to my kids.
I don’t want any church service; I gave up on church adherence some time ago. In my life, my kids are the most important people to me. I have suggested to them that once they have my ashes, they can organise a celebration of my life down in the shed in my backyard. One of the reasons for doing this is that my children all have mortgages and young families. I don’t want them burdened with paying for a funeral for me. I pay an amount of money each month to the funeral company, and hopefully, I live long enough to finish the payments before the big day arrives.
As for a eulogy, I think my kids can make that up, or not. I have a close relationship with each of them, I know they will miss me as I do a lot for each of them. They are all aware of my will and seem happy with my wishes to look after their brother, who has a disability.
I was amused by your making up a music list and playing it at your funeral. Having spent most of my life with children telling me how poor my musical taste it I’d consider such a task as tortuous for them. I’ll let them organise such entertainment.
I’d like to think my kids will remember me as a father who stood up for them, who was there for them when another was not.
I’m not planning on dying soon, I have a car and a funeral to pay off. The time is drawing close, for all of us. All my kids know my wishes, grief is personal, no matter how prepared it hits us once our loved one passes away.
Good post Jim, best wishes for the new year.