One of the unspoken aspects of aging is what happens when we stop aging and cease to be, that is die!
There’s no escaping it though I read this morning of certain drugs that can slow the aging process. But no matter which way you look at it, there is that inevitable end.
So I looked at my own situation and decided to take matters into my own hands.
I have set up a pre-paid funeral plan.
Not that I have any intention of putting the plan into use in the near future but one never knows.
The reason for doing this is somewhat layered.
I don’t want my kids to be lumbered with the expense of a funeral, they all have mortgages and I don’t want my demise to put pressure on their finances.
Nor do I want a church service, undertaker and flowers. More expense as I see it.
Nor do I want to be buried as all of my forebears have. I wander around the cemetery where many of them are interned and I feel so sorry for all those souls whose headstones are faded, their plots grown over, so many of them so long forgotten. There is a disused cemetery just near where I live and thankfully some wise person many years ago, recorded the names of those buried there. If you went looking now so many of the old sandstone headstones are illegible.
So burial is not for me.
My funeral plan is for cremation only. When the time comes they collect me, cremate me and return my ashes to my kids.
What they do with the ashes they can decide, such as throw me over the backyard or what my aunt did to a daughter who died, put her ashes in the bottom of a pot with a rose growing in it.
I have suggested that if they feel so moved they could have a post-death wake where memories good, bad and indifferent could be shared with invited family and friends.
So what might be your plans concerning arrangements when you pass on.
Some people go the full hog, expensive casket, flowers, church service, beautifully scripted eulogies, favourite songs choirs and or orchestras.
What might you want for yourself?
Morpethroad 
I don’t want any big deal. Just a simple burial and then a party celebrating life!
I think your last request is the most important
Luckily, Muslim funerals aren’t that expensive. The dead body is buried in the ground covered in a white sheet of unstitched cloth. The place of the grave is free too ( I think). After burial people do get together to express their sympathy with the family, and usually a near relative would arrange for food. Most people don’t partake of this food so it is distributed among the poor people nearby. It’s a very economical way of dealing with death.
It certainly sounds that way. Gets it done and dusted doesn’t it.
It does. No fancy funerals no caskets.
Makes a lot of sense
Yup!
The same except my box of ashes will be buried next to my husband’s where the plaque is already placed
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A friend of mine has same set up with her parents
Oh and no funeral wake ceremony etc I prefer remembering someone as they were in life
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Funny that you brought this up. I recently made my plans explicitly known to my spouse. I want no burial, no cry-fest (as my mother called it), no flowers ( not a part of my religion). I want to be cremated and my ashes spread at the beach. If my kids want to do something later, like a celebration of life I did for my mom, that’s fine. It’s not just the terrible cost of funerals. I want to become one with the ocean water.
I agree with you. I’ve told my kids kids to have a celebration of my life at later date. I do like your notion of being one with the ocean. Great response Lauren.
Thanks Michael. I did a celebration of life gathering for my mom in her state six months after her passing. It was filled with more joy than anything. I think she would have approved,
I’m sure she would have been pleased. I think a celebration of life is the best way to remember a loved one. Do it when you are ready to. That’s what I have told my kids.
Smart advice
Reblogged this on Stevie Turner and commented:
This is a part of ageing that is not often discussed. I remember my own mother asking me to go and arrange her funeral. I sat in the undertaker’s parlour and felt very strange arranging a funeral for somebody who was still alive. However, death arrangements get done and dusted and when Mum’s time came there wasn’t much to do. I
I’ve told my husband what I’d like done with my ashes, but so far he hasn’t been able to make his mind up about what he wants done with his. Hopefully he’s got a bit more time left yet to think about it …
Thanks for your comment Stevie. Death is not an easy topic to talk about, not a lot of fun to think about either. I’ve known for a long time what I wanted done with me but even so when I signed up to the plan it was a very eery feeling realising what I had committed myself to. My mother died nearly forty years ago and my dad handled the funeral arrrangements. In doing so he bought a ‘twin seater’ so when his time came we didn’t have the worry of where to put him.
Hopefully your husband does have more time to think about what he might like done with his ashes. Thanks agin for your comment.
You’re welcome. It tends to get left until the last minute probably because people are too busy living to think about their own deaths.
Good post. Have re-blogged.
My Mum did this after my Dad died so that the family wouldn’t have the same worries. She had to pay a small insurance every year to keep up with inflation and when her time came, Sis set the wheels in motion. Mum had chosen her hymns and music and it was indeed a special service of her own choice.
Hubby wants a straightforward ‘disposal service’, no church service, no funeral gathering or wake etc, just a private goodbye from me and that’s it. If I go first, I’d like something simple and similar, maybe a small gathering of our friends and everyone given a sheet of All Things Bright and Beautiful to rip up instead of speeches. Both of us wish to be cremated, no fuss, no bother, and no lining someone else’s pocket unnecessarily.
Well Hubby and I have something in common as we both opt for the ‘disposal service’ or in my case “Cremation only”. I’ve told my kids what I want, they haven’t objected to my wishes, but they are more concerned with what to do with my ashes, though when the time comes that aspect of things will be the least of my worries.
Ripping up a hymn sheet is something I’ve not heard of before. the mob I have signed up with will consign me to a cardboard coffin which makes a lot of sense when you think about what they will do with it.
We are about to go through a traditional Catholic funeral this week as my kids grandmother died yesterday so I shall await and see how it all goes.
Thanks so much for your thoughts Di.
I am so sorry for your loss Michael. Had she been ill or was it sudden? Thoughts are with the family at such a sad time.
The ripping up of the hymn is personal because I hate it. Sis had it at every possible church function/service and I would have been mortified if it had been snuck in for Mum’s funeral.
No she was 93 and had been at death’s door for the past several weeks. She wasn’t a happy old person. I see why ripping up that hymn would have meaning for you.
Hope everything goes OK next week.
We’ll need food, especially chocolate. Mostly, I just want people to be honest.
In death you’d hope they are
Ha! I meant for my funeral.
Oh yeah good idea