I look at the clock, its 1.23am.
I calculate its been two hours since I turned off my light.
My bladder screams at me for release.
That task completed I see it’s now 1.25am.
Sunrise is not for a lot more hours.
I read the digital news, find an interesting story that doesn’t necessarily commit me to read about political corruption of some sort.
Once completed, there’s a second source of news and I look at that. I glance at the clock, 1.52, I’ll need to be back asleep by 2.30 at the latest.
The Guardian entertains me for twenty minutes or so and then I touch the Solitaire icon and up pops the game I only play in the wee small hours. My mind goes to the challenge, can I get a game out tonight. I play two or three then turn out the light and try to sleep.
Some nights it’s easier than others. Some nights it’s a matter of laying there, thinking will I take drugs or not. The sleeping drugs will bring on sleep but I fear the feeling of being zonked out for half the next day.
It’s hard to settle my mind. I compose many a blog post at this time. Some nights I sit up in bed and write and post it. It kills more time.
I lay down once again and this time when I open my eyes time has passed and its near dawn.
This is such a familiar routine, it’s part of my cycle.
The middle of the night is quiet, it’s dark, I’m never at ease, I hang out for the dawn.