Miss Marble, a witch, at 46 Grimace Street, was sitting on her front veranda with her long-time friend and neighbour Mansur Stigglefod taking in the afternoon and casting an eye over her garden.
Life had been so busy of late what with the advent of on-line ordering, Miss Marble found herself working long hours. “Who’d a thought,” she contemplated, there would be orders coming over the internet.
The two old friends were enjoying a cup of Miss Marble’s relaxing tea which had the effect of relaxing you in a very literal sense. It was Mis Marble who made the remark about her garden being in urgent need of a good weeding and the shrubs in need of some serious pruning.
‘That plant in the corner,” said Mansur, “there’s something about it. It always looks so malevolent whenever I look at it.”
“That’s because it is,” replied Miss Marble, “it’s a ‘florius horribilius’, or a Horror Plant. Most people don’t grow them because they are generally horrible to anyone who goes near them. They emit a scent which likens them to the plant version of a skunk.”
“So why do you have one?” asked a curious Mansur.
“The flowers are essential in my “Chirp” potion.”
“Chirp potion?” queried Mansur never having heard of such a thing.
“A good ‘chirp’ potion is used to buck a person up, make them feel good, industrious, give them a positive outlook, that sort of thing.”
“How does the horrible plant help in that you’d think it would do the opposite?”
“There’s an ingredient in the flower that contains the necessary chemical.”
“How do you get near it to take a flower?”
“Oh, I do it in the middle of the night. The plant sleeps at night and even when awake can’t emit any scent without light to generate it. So, I venture down, speak nicely to it and even though I can tell its grumbling about what I am doing it can’t do anything to stop me. But my actions do explain why it looks unhappy whenever you look at it.”
“It’s a beautiful flower though,” said Mansur as she observed the purple and yellow hue of the flower.
“Oh, it’s gorgeous,” agreed Miss Marble, “I’ve learned to make sure I’m wearing a mask when I extract what I need from the flower as it can send out a foul aroma once the flower is disturbed.”
“You’ve an interesting garden, haven’t you,” said Mansur looking left and right. There were she observed a number of unique looking plants scattered about the yard and one in particular encased in a concrete pot stood tall and erect as if proud of his phallic shape.
“The penis cactus,” said Miss Marble, “a paradox within the plant world, all shape but little else.”
“A real disappointment then,” suggested Mansur.
“Well, most are,” replied Miss Marble sipping her tea.
Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2019/09/05/tale-weaver-239-flowers-6th-september/
It has a very Alice in Wonderland touch to it.
Hurrah for Miss Marble! I can imagine her tiptoeing through the petunias in the night to extract the necessary from a sleepy grumbling trifydd! Great stuff Michael
Thanks Di she’s a resourceful woman
So much better than my attempt. Almost had an air of pratchett to it. Loved it.
Thanks so much, I think Pratchett has influenced many of us.
He was s brilliant man. As are you.
Thought a horror and the a great laugh…well done!
Thanks glad you enjoyed my tale
I always enjoy a visit with Miss M. A wondrous garden indeed. 🙂
Wondrous, just like she is..
Good surprise at the end. Made me laugh.
Thanks so much. Haven’t seen you in a while hope you are doing well.
I got caught up in so many things… With not much time to write And in that, was keeping the writing I did do to myself and my reading seems to have been at a minimum. I’m trying to come out of my hermit shell though
I think we all go there from time to time. Best wishes for you going forward.