Today’s sentence: “We the jury, find the defendant _____”
“Guilty, sort of,” said the jury foreman.
“Sort of? You can’t say sort of1” exclaimed the Judge.
“Well,” explained the Foreman, “On counts two and three we find him guilty, but on the first and fourth we don’t think he is guilty. I mean look at his face, who could believe that face could possibly do the things he is charged with.”
“It’s got nothing to do with his face,” said the Judge finding it hard to believe what he was hearing, “it’s to do with the evidence presented.”
“Well yes Your Honour we do understand that, but we felt that if evidence as to his overall demeanour and character had been presented, we could have come to a more unanimous decision,” explained the Foreman, to which there were united nods of approval from the jury members beside him.
The judge by now was finding his blood pressure rising and his patience being tested by the juries decision and their nonsensical explanation.
He knew that morning he was going to be in for a long day. The jury as he observed them during the case made a lot of notes, and several put their hand up at different times to ask questions and had to be told it was not their place to ask questions during the trial.
He started to think he had been in the job far too long. Retirement seemed such an easy alternative, but upon reflection, he could never see a life where his wife had every day planned for him as anything to look forward to.
The jury Foreman was still standing in front of the jury, and so it was up to him to make a final decision.
“Since you haven’t come to a unanimous decision I have no alternative but to dismiss you and declare this a no trial. The defendant is to be released.”
The Judge banged his gavel onto his desk sending a resounding crash through the courtroom before getting up and storming out.
The defendant looked as stunned as everyone else and gave the jury the thumbs up, as he had looked guilty from the moment he had stepped into the courtroom. After all the evidence was pretty clear, his flatmate was dead, he was found with a knife dripping blood, there was a recorded history of animosity between the two and his statement to the police upon capture:” the bastard deserved what he got” was damning in itself.
As the courtroom emptied, the Foreman looked over towards the defendant and winked at him.
A little later in the pub, the two enjoyed a drink together vowing to never reveal the relationship between the two.
“Sort of,” laughed the defendant, “how did you come up with that decision?”
“Seemed like a good idea at the time,” replied the Foreman ordering another drink.