Once upon a time in a far off place, called Godforsayken, just to the west of All Hope and a little south of Lost Hope, lived a small man in a small house with his small family.
He had two daughters, both of whom had aspirations to marry the rich landlord, Lord Dyson. The girls basically looked to their landlord as their ticket out of the boredom of living in a small house with their small father in a town whose name alone suggested there were few if any possibilities in life.
Their father worked hard. Each morning before dawn, he would be up, stoke the fire and boil the water for his breakfast cuppa. Then call his daughters, Amanda and Awomana to be up and to clean the house and tend to the chickens.
Once he was out of the house and off to work in the Lord Dyson’s diamond mine, the girls would relax and watch morning TV. An idle life was all they knew. The thought of working for a living was beyond their comprehension and could barely look after themselves let alone anyone else.
One morning the TV announced the annual Godforsayken Ball would be held and at the Ball, Lord Dyson would announce the lucky girl from the village to be his wife.
Suddenly the girls had something to occupy their minds. What to wear!! And a husband!!
The girls fancied their chances as they considered themselves the prettiest girls around and so approached the Ball sure one of them would be chosen.
Excitement mounted as the evening of the Ball approached. Dresses were made, finished off, trimmed and paraded, there were lots of nods of approval as each girl stood before her father and speculated her prospects.
The father didn’t care which daughter was chosen as he saw it as an opportunity to move up the social ladder and let’s face it in a village called Godforsayken there wasn’t a lot of places you could go on said ladder.
All the village turned out for the ball, and there was much jostling around the Lord Dyson as each introduction was made. Amanda looked spectacular in red and Awomana stunning in sky blue. The girls certainly hit the mark, if the mark was to gather as much attention as possible.
The Lord Dyson had decided to choose a wife for no other reason than tradition said he should have one. He didn’t like women much, in fact, he preferred, Harold the shepherd but society would never countenance such a union.
By the end of the night, he was bored out of his mind with the constant stream of females vying for his attention and approval.
His aid, the less than venerable, Beau Regard, urged him to make a decision. Tired of the whole evening, the thought of spending an eternity on earth with one of the local women made him ill inside.
Looking around he spied a young lady standing in the corner, sipping on a glass of water. She seemed as disinterested as he was and he asked Beau to find out who she was.
She was the Lady Sumptuous, daughter of Lord Sumpter from the neighbouring village. She was invited over to meet the Lord Dyson who found her a fascinating woman.
He immediately called the attention of the assembly and announced Lady Sumptuous as his chosen bride.
There was silence followed by a collective “WHO?”
The Lady Sumptuous was presented to the ball, and there was a slow but polite handclap to the news.
Amanda and Awomana were livid and called the Lord Dyson a lying cheating dog.
The sad result of all that was their father found himself being moved to the diamond mine in Lost Hope. So from Godforsayken to Lost Hope, their futures were so determined.