She woke with the uncomfortable feeling of knowing everything was wrong.
Her head rested on the ground, there were corn shoots poking her in the face. She realised her pants were around her knees and she sensed an unsightly mess between her legs.
More immediately disturbing was the pain her body was making her aware of. Every inch of her was waking to the terrible knowledge of the violation.
Looking up she saw a myriad of stars and around her a silence she knew all too well.
The silence of desolation, the pervading sense of being alone within the expanse of the universe, leaving her vulnerable and flooded with personal humiliation. It was as if nature in respect of her situation stood back to give her the space she needed but enough to allow her to take in the magnitude of what had happened to her.
She remembered the boy and at that very moment found it impossible to say his name. She had fancied him, flirted with him, and now there was a price to pay.
She wondered what happened to her friend, the two girls had gone out together, always went places together but now she was alone, and the pain was throbbing all over.
She moved onto her side, her body objecting to her moving.
She lay there taking stock of her situation. Not only were her pants down on her knees, her top was torn, her breasts exposed and her hair, which she prided herself on, was a dishevelled mess.
Around her the silenced pulsed, the voices of her parents echoed in her mind, ….’the boy was trouble, he and his lot could never be trusted, don’t be alone with him’… and so they droned on.
She determined she was not going to be rescued and so rearranged herself sufficiently, she hoped, to get herself home.
They had been driving, drinking, having a great time and he had been all affectionate, and she’d loved the attention but when he started to grope and intrude she’d tried to object but it was then he hit her.
She’d been powerless against him. Through the now present pain, she could still felt his weight, his stale alcoholic breath against her ear as he grunted his way into her taking what she’d never recover.
Wrapping her arms around herself she took a tentative step forward, her body ached, her head pounded, and right now she needed to get home.
As she stumbled along, tears flowing and feeling the worst she’d ever felt, inside her, a series of interactions were happening that would challenge her in the years to come.