The Dark Side Shop was open as I wandered by. It was just on midnight and the aisles were crowded with folk all looking for the one thing to set off their dark night and their dark desires.
There was the usual array of scary and ghostly, all the aids you’d need to work up a good neighbourhood scare especially at Halloween.
But for the serious dark side enthusiasts it was out the back and down in the basement that the really good stuff could be found. All the components of the dark side, the black magic buffs congregated here as did the perverse followers of the brindle magic and in the far corner the one or two brave souls who studied the purple magic.
You thought the dark magic was bad you haven’t seen anything until you delve into the purple magic.
In the back corner of the basement behind a purple curtain and guarded by large and savage dogs is the pit of purple magic. In here lie the grey orange slime dwellers expert at the hoax, with incredible powers to deceive and manipulate the innocent. Once they have you in their grasp you are as good as dead. They are known in the dark magic world as trumps. Grown men have been known to have their bits shrivel beyond recognition, their manhood a distant memory, their hands and backbones shrunken and the will to live taken away once the trumps have infiltrated their being.
With black magic you know what you are getting, it is consistent magic evil at all times but in the pit of the purple magic the trumps can appear in all innocence, agreeable, considerate and even reasonable but you know they are setting you up for their evil intent to ride rough shod over you, laugh in your face at your gullibility and worst of all care little what happens to you in fact if you are really unlucky and fall into the pit you become their dinner as they never give back unless you consider your excreted remains added to the grey orange slime as a sign of giving back. Rather you become part of the mire they wallow in as they delight in all they have achieved and await the next poor soul to be swayed by them.
So it is with good reason that Arthur Sanders warns all who go there of the potential dangers of what lies beyond the purple curtains masking the purple pit. He has tried many times to expunge the purple pit and the trumps but like a virus they mutate into more hideous creatures at every manifestation.
So tonight I bid farewell to Arthur with a small bag of black magic beans the perfect aphrodisiac for a prefect night at home.