This week’s words: Shaft Kudoclasm (Sometimes it feels like your life is flashing before your eyes, but it’s actually the opposite: you’re thinking forward, to all the things you haven’t done, the places you intend to visit, the goals you’ll get around to…) Somaticize (Verb- to convert (anxiety) into physical symptoms) Pain Naked Sparrow Tighten Deadbolt Electrify Wait Tooth Aberrant
It was an act of obvious aberrant behaviour. That was the only way to describe it. As it was he had been up since sparrow fart getting himself organised for the day.
There was no doubt he was a bit long in the tooth and the sort of aberrant behaviour we are going to describe was so much out of character or was it?
From his perspective streaking onto the stage naked as the day he was born resulted in a very somaticizing experience. Suddenly aware that he was standing there, his personality dangling in front of that largely female audience, resulted in an anxiety he had never thought possible. Every joint began to ache with a pain that seemed to magnify the longer he stood, frozen to the spot.
As the somaticizing effects took hold he didn’t have to wait long before the kudoclastic effect began to occur as well. He suddenly thought about how vulnerable he was. His bits were on display, his future was in jeopardy and fatherhood until that moment a distant thought emerged from the fog of his brain. All this at the sight of the security guards coming towards him, batons raised and guns on their hips. By now the pain in his joints was about warp speed and his shaft which he wished would tighten, perhaps in some impressive way, sadly did the opposite and he began to panic. Next week he had a date with the beautiful Cloris, what was he going to do? He’d promised his mum he’d put new deadbolts on her front door and his mate Charlie wanted his help to electrify his tomato patch. Kudoclasm was a real bugger at a time like this. As if the immediate wasn’t dire enough the thought of the future only increased the somaticizing going on in his head thereby increasing the already excruciating pain which from the look of the approaching security guys was going to be more physical in nature rather than psychological.
He did the only thing he could at that moment. Shrunk his naked form into a foetal position and hoped for the best.