Tale Weaver #86, September 22: “I wanna be a paperback writer.” – Dingle Crestworthy, Paperback writer


I am a paperback writer thought Dingle Crestworthy as he sat at his keyboard finishing off his latest western thriller.

Dingle was the award-winning author of the Dry Gulch series. I’m sure you have heard of them if not read many. “Shootout in Dry Gulch”, “Dry Gulch Sheriff”, “ Dry Gulch Gunslinger” the list goes on and above his desk was his array of awards honouring the contribution he had made to the development of the paperback novel.

His favourite was “Dry Gulch Princess” the story of the day the stagecoach came to town carrying the Princess Mona. She was an immediate sensation within and without the town.

She flirted with all the boys and irritated the women. Dry Gulch was awash with romantic notions and assassination thoughts.

Dingle had created reoccurring characters in his novels. Letcher Bambach was the villain, and a cad in every respect from kidnapping to tying his female victims to the rail tracks. Esther Kincaid ran the town brothel and was also the Mayor, Dry Gulch was a small town and multi tasking was required.

Pussy Panter was the town’s glamour girl and every guy had at one time or other tried to pander to Pussy but she kept her distance and hissed at their every advance.

Lester Grace was the sheriff and kept the town law-abiding except of a Friday night when the ranch boys came to town, offered Lester a few drinks, got him drunk and from then on it was anything goes until Saturday morning when Lester sobered up to discover his town had become a real wild west town with shootouts and bodies littering the main street of men and women just that fraction slow on the draw.

The Princess had run amok on this particular Friday night, breaking numerous hearts and caused Percy Fairweather and Justin Savage to fight it out over her heart.

They faced off and drew, it was a simultaneous draw and their guns roared, the two men at first smiled before crumpling to the ground, both shot through the heart.

The Princess ran first to Percy and then to Justin, tears flowed and she was distraught that her promiscuity had led to the deaths of these fine young men.

On the final page of the novel the town gathers at the town gallows and just as…….

Wait! You’ll have to go out and buy “Dry Gulch Princess” to find out the thrilling conclusion….no spoilers here thank you.

Dingle Crestworthy loved telling that tale. He loved it because it meant his sales went through the roof and that meant an extra fat royalty cheque would be coming his way and one thing Dingle loved was the feel of money.

Right now his next best seller was taking shape beneath his greedy fingers, “Dry Gulch and the Philosophy Rock”. He was sure he was onto another winner….


Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2016/09/22/tale-weaver-86-i-wanna-be-a-paperback-writer/

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15 Responses to Tale Weaver #86, September 22: “I wanna be a paperback writer.” – Dingle Crestworthy, Paperback writer

  1. Michael, this is absolutely hilarious. I had no idea you wanted to be Zane Grey! (lol). I’m off to find a copy of Dry Gulch Princess and look forward to Philosophy Rock. Your gift with naming characters continues.
    Thanks for participating in Tale Weaver!

  2. My ringtone on my phone is…Paperback Writer by the Beatles. Even when I heard that song when I was in high school, I was confused. I liked reading paperbacks. Perhaps at some point, I thought back then, I’d WRITE a paperback. And yet the song was supposed to be satire? I still chose to think it’s an honor to be called… a “paperback writer.” ;-0

  3. Suzanne says:

    Very clever. Maybe one day you will write these stories up so that they do become a paperback. The potential is there.

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