This week’s great playful words: Smash Tiresome Perfidy (deliberate breach of faith or trust; faithlessness; treachery) Corner Phallus (an image of the male reproductive organ, especially that carried in procession in ancient festivals of Dionysus, or Bacchus, symbolizing the generative power in nature. Anatomy. the penis, the clitoris, or the sexually undifferentiated embryonic organ out of which either of these develops.) Deface Familiar Sediment Heartrending Occupy Rakefire (A visitor who outstays his or her welcome. Originally, someone who stays so late the dying coals in the fireplace would need to be raked over just to keep it burning.) League
When the First All-Righteous church decided to put on a Shakespearean play they chose Midsummer Night’s Dream as a play that was a comedy and contained universal qualities sure to not offend anyone in their church.
They thought it about time they did something that was going to smash through the cultural boundaries. After all the annual musical nights with the same old tiresome songs had resulted in waning attendance and this year a bit of the Bard was sure to shake things up.
Naivety is a wonderful thing and the drama committee embraced the notion of a change in format. Everything went well until Mary Fuller in an act of sheer perfidy ruined the whole performance. Mary was the costume lady and had had discussions with the director, Charles Plant over the appropriate costumes for the various scenes in the play.
Most of the time she could be found in her corner of the theatre sewing and generally costuming to her hearts content. In fact, the director had plenty to worry about and was confident Mary would deliver the costumes on time.
Mary had taken plenty of time to familiarize herself with the play. In particular, she was very interested in the Bottom character for at one stage of the play he is turned into a donkey. Mary had read the play and noticed it read that Bottoms ears where elongated and in general his human features were defaced by the transformation. His character unaware of the change in him occupies the stage in bewilderment as people flee from his now hideous appearance. It is a very heartrending scene and the audience is most sympathetic to the donkey headed Bottom.
Mary decided to go for the maximum amount of humour in this scene. After all Bottom was a comic character. She would leave the audience rolling on the floor with laughter, or so she thought.
So when the moment of transformation happened Bottom appeared with his ears elongated and his nose lengthened and to the audiences dismay his male member was also lengthened…a lot. So on the stage of the First All-Righteous Church was a man in a donkey costume with a phallus designed to scare the day lights out of any woman or man come to think of it. Bottoms organ pretty much dragged along the ground and the scene became a real case of a rakefire as the audience squirmed in their seats from embarrassment. They couldn’t wait for him to get off but he didn’t leave he stayed there dangling his new appendage in the faces of and sundry. Some women fainted, children were ushered from the building, the director was affronted and expelled instantly from the church and Mary shrugged as she rolled the wine in her glass around to shift the sediment that had gathered there and declared it was in keeping with the spirit of the play. She declared that there was no one in league with her and took the offending phallus home with her that evening.
So the shortest run of any Shakespearean play occurred at the First All-Righteous Church. The congregation vowed never again and the next year the tired old favourites of the past were rolled out once again as safe was what the congregation wanted, after all they concluded there was no place for a phallus of any description in God’s good church.