Sunday June 5 2016 Writing Prompt: lighten up! Resume

This week’s task: REWRITE YOUR RESUMÉ in a new light. 

 

Name: Thomas Summers

Address: 16 Fairy Tale Avenue, Fernville, NSW Australia.

Life Experience:

Born: 30th October 1953, he was very young at the time.

Age 0 – 5 Toilet trained, speech learned, manners and a love of reading developed.

Age 6: Classed as a child progeny.

Age 7: Re classed a Child Wastrel.

Age 12: Translated War and Peace into Latin. Sold one copy – Thanks to his mum.

Age 13: Began High School

Age 14: Told to start again.

Age 16: Discovered girls weren’t all that horrible after all. In fact they looked a whole lot better than his sporting mates, at least a lot softer.

Age 17: Completed High School, walked the Kododa Trail backwards, fell in love with Emma Standen, Mary Jones and Betty Gold.

Age 18: Discovered he was a sexual stud and relished his new found reputation, realised tally marks were more than a mathematical tool.

Age 20: Wrote his first novel; I was a Teenage Stud: number one bestseller at the Morpeth Newsagency 1973.

Age 23: Graduated University, Degree in Compliancy, First class honours in Procrastination.

Age 24: Climbed Mt Everest, first man to do so on a diet of baked beans.

Age 25: wrote his first major award-winning novel: All Answers to the Meaning of Life.

Age 27: Nobel Prize for Literature for his novel: Travels with a Gouty Toe.

Age 29: married Amy Armstrong.

Age 30: First child born, Marcus James

Age 35: Second child Amelia Rose, gained employment at All stars University…

Age 36: Survives rumours of sexual impropriety and paid huge extortion to Patsy Pansy to shut her up…Wife leaves him for a man from Serbia who promises her the world and more. Years later she comes back penniless, childless and homeless.

Age 40: Writes award winning novel: The Meaning of Life and Toasted Sandwiches.

Age 41 – 50 Kept low profile, forced to pay back monies embezzled and holidayed at Her Majesties Prison Darcyville

Age 50 – 60 Re-established self, worked as a grocery packer; meat packer and clothes line installer.

Current age: 62: Working as a full stop on a road gang, has found his place in the world, is happy, his children love him one day hate him the next, is writing a new novel: From Wastrel to Wastrel a Life in Perspective.

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2016/06/05/sunday-june-5-2016-writing-prompt/

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21 Responses to Sunday June 5 2016 Writing Prompt: lighten up! Resume

  1. Lyn says:

    LOL an absolute gem, Michael 😀

  2. Mandy says:

    Hahaha😂😂😂 now I’m like Wild Child, Pat, laughing and snorting lol!

  3. wildchild47 says:

    Roflmao – omg – you had me right from the start Michael, with your wit and sharp tongue translating onto the page – what humour! And I absolutely love this “you.” It’s so bloody brilliant that I’d have to claim, as a fictional character of course, to declare open and grand amorous love of the “you you.” Or should that be “yo-yo?” or perhaps “Ewe Ewe” – scoundrel and black sheep! 😉

    Thank you so much for playing along with the writing prompt – I hope you had a good time with it – I certainly am, reading 😀

    • Michael says:

      Hello Pat…you did say and I quoye: “”Re-define yourself however you wish – feeling like exploring your carefully hidden silly side? “”
      So I did and I’m glad you and others have had a good laugh…..I have to say the prompt threw me for a while and what you see is my second attempt at it….the absurd the better I think…maybe I should have had a resume like this when I was working…lol….and as for “”to declare open and grand amorous love of the “you you.” “”I am most flattered as is my persona……have a great day…

      • wildchild47 says:

        Absolutely right on, I did say “silly” and it’s ALL good by me 😀

        Well Michael – all of you – in all your forms and characters – is one 1000% lovable 🙂

        Have a great week 🙂

      • Michael says:

        Isn’t fantasy land such a fun place Pat…lol….my words are lovable not so sure about the guy pushing the keys, he’s ok…..the week looks good, so far but it is only Monday down here….

      • wildchild47 says:

        the guy pushing the keys is awesome 🙂

        well, it’s Sunday evening here – and rainy cool – has been all day, but the birds are still singing away – so one day at a time – who knows where the adventures of the week can lead?

      • Michael says:

        Exactly one just never knows….hope yours are fun as I hope mine are…

      • wildchild47 says:

        hope so …. we shall wait and see 🙂

      • Michael says:

        I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you…

  4. KL Caley says:

    Hahahaha! Excellent. Michael, very funny. I loved it. KL ❤

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