This week’s task: REWRITE YOUR RESUMÉ in a new light.
Name: Thomas Summers
Address: 16 Fairy Tale Avenue, Fernville, NSW Australia.
Life Experience:
Born: 30th October 1953, he was very young at the time.
Age 0 – 5 Toilet trained, speech learned, manners and a love of reading developed.
Age 6: Classed as a child progeny.
Age 7: Re classed a Child Wastrel.
Age 12: Translated War and Peace into Latin. Sold one copy – Thanks to his mum.
Age 13: Began High School
Age 14: Told to start again.
Age 16: Discovered girls weren’t all that horrible after all. In fact they looked a whole lot better than his sporting mates, at least a lot softer.
Age 17: Completed High School, walked the Kododa Trail backwards, fell in love with Emma Standen, Mary Jones and Betty Gold.
Age 18: Discovered he was a sexual stud and relished his new found reputation, realised tally marks were more than a mathematical tool.
Age 20: Wrote his first novel; I was a Teenage Stud: number one bestseller at the Morpeth Newsagency 1973.
Age 23: Graduated University, Degree in Compliancy, First class honours in Procrastination.
Age 24: Climbed Mt Everest, first man to do so on a diet of baked beans.
Age 25: wrote his first major award-winning novel: All Answers to the Meaning of Life.
Age 27: Nobel Prize for Literature for his novel: Travels with a Gouty Toe.
Age 29: married Amy Armstrong.
Age 30: First child born, Marcus James
Age 35: Second child Amelia Rose, gained employment at All stars University…
Age 36: Survives rumours of sexual impropriety and paid huge extortion to Patsy Pansy to shut her up…Wife leaves him for a man from Serbia who promises her the world and more. Years later she comes back penniless, childless and homeless.
Age 40: Writes award winning novel: The Meaning of Life and Toasted Sandwiches.
Age 41 – 50 Kept low profile, forced to pay back monies embezzled and holidayed at Her Majesties Prison Darcyville
Age 50 – 60 Re-established self, worked as a grocery packer; meat packer and clothes line installer.
Current age: 62: Working as a full stop on a road gang, has found his place in the world, is happy, his children love him one day hate him the next, is writing a new novel: From Wastrel to Wastrel a Life in Perspective.
Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2016/06/05/sunday-june-5-2016-writing-prompt/
😊
I’m sure you learned something new?
LOL an absolute gem, Michael 😀
Thank you Lyn all perfectly true of course.
Of course 😀
Hahaha😂😂😂 now I’m like Wild Child, Pat, laughing and snorting lol!
Well the real me had to come out at some time. It’s like I can’t stay under a rock forever. Everyone is laughing. I don’t understand?
No 😂 you should not😂stay under😂 a rock lol. Still laughing…
Ok I’ll be brave and stick my head out from time to time. But only a little cause youse are all laughin and bein mean.
Sorry🙃 Lol… 😂
Well I’ll forgive ya only corse I’m really nice… Underneath 😀😊
Roflmao – omg – you had me right from the start Michael, with your wit and sharp tongue translating onto the page – what humour! And I absolutely love this “you.” It’s so bloody brilliant that I’d have to claim, as a fictional character of course, to declare open and grand amorous love of the “you you.” Or should that be “yo-yo?” or perhaps “Ewe Ewe” – scoundrel and black sheep! 😉
Thank you so much for playing along with the writing prompt – I hope you had a good time with it – I certainly am, reading 😀
Hello Pat…you did say and I quoye: “”Re-define yourself however you wish – feeling like exploring your carefully hidden silly side? “”
So I did and I’m glad you and others have had a good laugh…..I have to say the prompt threw me for a while and what you see is my second attempt at it….the absurd the better I think…maybe I should have had a resume like this when I was working…lol….and as for “”to declare open and grand amorous love of the “you you.” “”I am most flattered as is my persona……have a great day…
Absolutely right on, I did say “silly” and it’s ALL good by me 😀
Well Michael – all of you – in all your forms and characters – is one 1000% lovable 🙂
Have a great week 🙂
Isn’t fantasy land such a fun place Pat…lol….my words are lovable not so sure about the guy pushing the keys, he’s ok…..the week looks good, so far but it is only Monday down here….
the guy pushing the keys is awesome 🙂
well, it’s Sunday evening here – and rainy cool – has been all day, but the birds are still singing away – so one day at a time – who knows where the adventures of the week can lead?
Exactly one just never knows….hope yours are fun as I hope mine are…
hope so …. we shall wait and see 🙂
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you…
Hahahaha! Excellent. Michael, very funny. I loved it. KL ❤
Thanks KL glad to give you a laugh.