Today’s #maydays prompt how about a bit of competition.
I’m in the supermarket minding my own business
My son sits in the trolley counting jellybeans.
My archenemy Roger Bent comes up beside me
His young son Snotface I call him sits in front.
The kids know of our rivalry
It begins innocently
I nod towards Roger in recognition
I see Roger whisper to Snotface
Snotface says; “My dad is better than your dad.”
My son quick to defend his dad says: “No.”
A boy of few words my son.
There’s a special today on Breadbaskets
Roger tells Snotface to keep look out
At the end of the aisle I spy them
Suddenly it’s a sprint to the finish
Our trolleys clash several times
Our sons are thrown about
They scream in terror one moment delight the next
A solitary breadbasket awaits us
It’s neck and neck
I put out a foot
Roger trips and falls
“Oh dear how sad,” I think.
The last breadbasket is mine
I covet it as I wander back past the defeated Roger
Snotface is furious; he is now more snotfaced than ever.
I grab a box of tissues; drop them into their trolley
High five my son as we in triumph depart.
Later I wonder what the hell I’ll do
With the victorious breadbasket.