Image: Brooke Shaden
I feel myself floating, drifting up
It’s eerie, I don’t understand
Below me ants mill around
There is confusion,
I feel frantic
I am suddenly afraid, is this?
Beside me my mother long dead stands
I feel the remembered softness of her hand
Resting on my shoulder.
I feel the jolt run through me
She pushes me down, ever so gently
Looks at me with that knowing mother smile.
I awake, dazed, confused
I am tied down, tubes everywhere.
I hear click, ping, whoosh, hiss, beep
As a plethora of machines battle to keep me alive.
I sense someone near me
A nurse checks a connection
Looks at me, her eyes light up to see me awake.
I hear my prognosis
A wave of grief consumes me
I turn away
In denial I don’t want to hear
Don’t want to know
A future, what future?
I remember my mother, her touch
Her knowing look.
What were they thinking
Sending me into this hell?