Writing Prompt #149 “Collage 18” – The Old Dark House


The quote “You’re So Brave and Quiet I forget you’re suffering.” Ernest Hemingway.

It’s my first night in the old dark house.

Such a worrying name for a dwelling

That looks at times like something from Gothic

When we know it was built in the fifties.

I check all the windows, firmly locked

The doors are bolted, I’m locked in.

Outside a storm rages, lightning, thunder,

All good reason to snuggle as deep as I can.

A flash of lightning streaks across my room

Shadows are highlighted

They weren’t there before.

I gulp as the window rattles

The wind whistles outside

Inside I begin to tremble.

I’m not so brave I tell myself

I am suffering now

Wishing I was elsewhere.

Another crash and flash of light

There’s a giant web in the corner

A large black spider sits in the centre

Awaiting a victim, I hope it’s not me.

On the dresser are objects illuminated

Seeming alive one looks at me I’m sure

Then in the darkness they settle again

The next flash I’m positive they have moved to the left

I grab my old camera, my faithful box brownie

I move to the table, there’s an old wooden chair

Too scared to move, now that around me

Are shadows I’m sure weren’t there before.

The door gives a rattle

The handle is turned

I grab hold of the table

Hold my breath, watch as it begins to open

What foul spectre is coming to me

With bones and blood and a breath to kill?

The door wings open there is no one there

I race across, slam it shut

Run the bolts, slip the chain

Drive into my bed as outside

The storm rages, wind blows

Windows creak, door rattles

It’s a night of no sleep

As I have the strangest sensation

Of some body in my bed……


Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2016/03/06/writing-prompt-149-collage-18/

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30 Responses to Writing Prompt #149 “Collage 18” – The Old Dark House

  1. Mandy says:

    I just crawled into bed, a storm brewing outside. As great of a read as this is, Michael, might need a “Best Not Read At Bedtime” warning! 😳

  2. rythaephua says:

    I enjoyed reading this, very creative at what you do. Keep it up.

  3. MyLovingWife says:

    What Mandy said. Thankfully I read it as I woke up so not so terrifying 😉 .

  4. wildchild47 says:

    I could feel the tension building, the suspense, the fear running wild as shadows dance, light flashes, thunder crashes 🙂

    Well done Michael – creepy shivery good!

  5. What foul spectre is coming to me

    With bones and blood and a breath to kill?

    Loved that! Suspenseful indeed and brilliantly done!

  6. LOL! This is cute. I enjoyed reading it. 🙂

  7. Should you survive the night — exactly whose body is in your bed? — I would love to see the pictures taken with your “trusty” Brownie!
    Good, chills up the spine story. Perhaps a whole new genre for you?

  8. mandibelle16 says:

    Michael you built this story wonderfully and eerily. The tension built as you described your characters fears, what he may have seen or not — we don’t know if he’s seeing the macabre or if he is imagining his greatest fears. The spider got me ick, big and black. I hate them so, and in Alberta they are generally not that big. I kept thinking dive into bed and hide yourself under the blanket, nothing outside of it of his body. I thought there might actually be someone at the door – is there or isn’t there – that seems to your poems question. But at the end it seems there is somebody with him in bed. Scary! Great job!

  9. kim881 says:

    Give me more Gothic!

  10. Oh my goodness! You write of fear/terror so well!

Please feel free to comment, I appreciate your thoughts.

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