Wordle #86 “November 23, 2015” – Cyprus Waters


This week’s words to play with: Cyprus Ringside Lapis Lazuli – bright blue colour Brimstone Coffin, Hands Acrobat Strength Mawkish (characterized by sickly sentimentality; weakly emotional; maudlin. Having a mildly sickening flavor; slightly nauseating.) Serum Obsolescence (the state, process, or condition of being or becoming obsolete.) Enable


Living in Cyprus Waters was an exercise in encroaching obsolescence. Mr Buriem the undertaker was run off his feet with the need to invest more and more in coffin making. They were dying like flies as one local put it. The trouble was that in the 1980’s some bright spark had established the place as a retirement village and once it was full refused to allow new people in. The result was that now days there as funeral every few days and Mrs Tacken the Funeral Celebrant, herself no spring chicken, was going crazy trying to keep up with the increasing number of services.

Each week there was a ringside seat available as the person who sat there the week before was now more than likely to be the one deceased.

It was easy to point fingers when a crisis such as this happened. Mrs Blowave the hairdresser was a candidate they all agreed. It was those lapis lazuli shades of blue she used on the women they all said, had to be something odd about a hairdressing salon that advertised lapis lazuli as a colour option. After all who actually knew what lapis lazuli was?

Then there was Mr Stoneface the one time born again Christian preacher who still in this modern day and age took every opportunity to do what he loved best, delivering a good old hearty and very unhealthy fire and brimstone sermon. It led to him being banned for a fortnight from the weekly bingo games as he had a tendency to want to rant about the evils of gambling though he never raised an eyebrow when he won a game.

Then there was Sydney Arsewipe and his wife Gunter. They were a very mawkish couple, always seeing the worst in every situation and it was nauseating to hear them go on about the deaths happening when it was depressing enough knowing your turn wasn’t far off without Sydney and Gunter reinforcing your own level of anxiety.

Elsie Stringbean had been an acrobat in her youth and was still a woman with considerable strength. You certainly found that out when you met her and she wanted to shake your hand….

Cyprus Waters had its own Pharmacy. Mandy Mistalot was the pharmacist and over the years she had experimented with serums of various types and many thought she was using the aging folk as test dummies to see how they worked. Needless to say it did enable quite a few of the aging residents moments of youthful exuberance which sadly only lasted a few minutes after dinner each night but enough for them to experience an aspect of life they long thought had left them.

But there was of course no stopping the progress of time. Fate had decreed and Mr Buriem did just as his name implied.

It was a worrying time but Mandy Mistalot took a nightly swig of her latest serum feeling its power surge through her body staving off any thoughts of her own obsolescence.

Cyprus Waters had settled down to another night where the lake resplendent in its lapis lazuli lapped happily at the waters edge just as Jack Appleseed the green grocer breathed his last.


Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/11/23/wordle-86-november-23-2015/


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21 Responses to Wordle #86 “November 23, 2015” – Cyprus Waters

  1. The names are fabulous in this and I love how you created a village here, a community of characters. Who knows what lapis lazuli even is lol Great job Michael!

  2. “I must learn,” she quipped. “Not to drink coffee and read your humorous posts at the same time. Some day my keyboard will fry when I spit out the hot liquid as I laugh out loud!”
    You so made my Monday. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  3. This is just way too funny for a Monday morning! (my time)
    When we lived on the farm, our landlord had a woodworking business. For a while, he was making coffins — seriously! Then he started making fancy wooden screen doors.
    There were a couple of left over coffins sitting in the back barn. Quite unnerving the first time I found them back there.
    Sorry, but the coffin business did stick in my head.

  4. J Lapis says:

    I LOVE how you name the characters, that and your storytelling talent are delightful.

  5. Of course I had saved the best to last ☺️ Wonderful story..apart from not being a spring chicken! Signed your forever friend Mrs Tacken. 😊

  6. mandy says:

    Truly love your imagination, Michael 😂

  7. Appleseed the Green Grocer is priceless. What an imagination you have! Love your stories!

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