My teacher was right, this is hell.
She didn’t say anything about this dimension though.
I get up to heaven and God says Jason you’ve been a bad boy.
I say God I just got wiped out in a car accident.
God says Jason you have to be penitent to get into heaven.
I say what does that mean.
He says be sorry for the life you led the pain you inflicted.
I’m dead God I say give me a break.
It’s written down here says God checking his book. Lying cheating, shagging, hagging and fagging, swindling, thieving and deceiving…..and list went on.
So he says you have to learn some humility and do your penance.
So here I am ironically inside an angel statue, the very thing in life I wasn’t.
I’ve tried to get out but this place is slam bam shut.
The pigeons hate me; I think they are guided to shit in my eye every day.
Bugger here comes another one…..ugh….bastard…
Written for: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2015/11/03/fffaw-week-of-11-03-2015/
Ha ha!!! I can hear your accent when you say certain words we don’t normally use here. Brilliant write, Michael. Love it when I can hear your voice!
It’s that obviously? Stone the crows luv I’ll hav Ta disguise it better in the futcha.
shagging and bugger gave you away:)
Ah yes well they would…have a good day..
I love this story, it certainly made me smile 🙂
Thanks Angie, glad I could make you smile….
Haha, a good morning chuckle it gave me. Notorious boy’s afterlife. Very interesting story
Thank you Huma, good to give you a laugh in the morning….hope you have had a good day…
Yes thank you sir
Hahaha! You have…I mean… God has a great sense of humor! LOL!! Love it!
Well God does have a sense of humour Joy, just look around you…..
Hahaha! Yes, true!
Ha ha, this is brilliant. I love Jason’s voice!
Thanks Sonya, glad you enjoyed it.
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LOL. You poor boy. You should have been more humble in front of God and now look what’s happened. Very imaginative take on the prompt!
Thanks Deborah, humility is a virtue not one Jason would know a lot about.
Brilliant, fun and unique. Don’t think his learnt any humility yet.
No I agree I think there are a few more in the eye for him still.
Enjoyed the humor and style sans convention. I liked the softer, resigned landing in Hell: “My teacher was right, this is hell.” You could have chosen a more pointed way to say this,e.g., “My teacher was right. This is hell.” or “My teacher was right; this is hell.” I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Thank you for your comment and suggestions, yes you are right a little punctuation can make a difference.Please call by again sometime..
Lol. Nice story!
Thanks Graham, have a good day.
There’s this fabulous sense of humour in all your writing pieces Michael. I enjoy them a lot. What a sense of humour God has to teach Jason repentance trapped in a statue, Will he ever get out, or is this a form of hell? Great job!
Hi Mandi, glad you get a giggle out of my pieces, one does wonder if Jason will learn repentance but I suspect he will be there for a while yet. Have a good day.
Good to know God has a sense of humour! Makes things better for all of us sinners.
“Another smiler,” she winked.
Just look around you my dear, his humour is there for you to see…
Absolutely splendid and thoroughly enjoyable piece Michael!
As always, a chuckle, a good belly laugh, and a *snort* – which just proves – God works in the most creative and delightful ways – as witnessed in your words 😀
Just think Pat, up there somewhere he is ‘snorting’ along with you…..thanks for stopping by…
I’m sure he is …. and why not? XD
This is great! Enjoyed the dialogue …and God’s sense of humor. Jason should be grateful he only gets dumped on by the pigeons!
I’ll have to take closer looks at those angels statues now (even after Dr. Who). And will develop a better appreciation of pigeons and their roles.
Hi friend have you checked your emails?
No, I shall do so. I’ve been battling headaches off and on, so . . .
Let me know if you need me to post.
I just checked — I posted manually after midnight here, and it appears that the prompt published.
Can you see it in your MMLM feed?
Yep all good now to see what I might do…..sleep well.
Haha! I love it! Great story!
Thanks Kat, have a good day…
Well now that should be a lesson to us all!! Very creative…sorry about the pigeons!! 😉
Nicely written and very funny 🙂
Thank you so much glad you found it so….
You are most welcome 🙂