This week’s words: Water Submersible Kelp Migration Plexus (a network, as of nerves or blood vessels. any complex structure containing an intricate network of parts:
the plexus of international relations.) Ungainly Nonchalant Mutilate Nickel Melanin (any of a class of insoluble pigments, found in all forms of animal life,that account for the dark color of skin, hair, fur, scales, feathers, etc. I for one have very little and therefore cannot tan despite sun exposure.) Phase, The last word I want you to invent (give a definition in the beginning). If you are fluent in a language other than English you can alternatively teach us a special word in that language. These words will be gathered up for future use ,-).
I went to school with a kid called James ‘Jimmy ‘ Briscow. Jimmy was a tall and ungainly kid and an ardler to boot.
Everyone knew he was an ardler and no one ever wanted to sit next to him in class.
The teachers had all told us about Jimmy when he came to the school and that we had to be patient and hope that it was a phase he was going through.
But he never passed through it in the time I knew him and what was doubly worrying was the nonchalant way in which he practiced his ardling.
It was as if he didn’t notice what he was doing. One minute he could be telling you about his family migrating to Australia from Scotland and the next minute he’s be doing it, right in front of you didn’t matter if the girls were about he didn’t ever seem to notice if anyone was watching.
Of course the other odd thing about Jimmy was his albinism as his body was missing melanin that gave the rest of us a skin colour that suited the Australian summer. Jimmy had to wear a hat outside and smear sunscreen on his face before going out to play at lunchtime.
Of course the bullies had a field day with him taunting him all day telling him to ardle away and laughing when he did.
In term 3 of year 5 we were to go on an excursion to the naval depot to study the port and the workings of the depot. Jimmy nearly didn’t make it as the afternoon before some of the boys frightened that Jimmy would embarrass them dealt him a blow in the solar plexus that left him lying on the ground in pain. The boys ran off thinking they had done the necessary deed to stop Jimmy coming.
But Jimmy was used to being picked on and had known his fair share of beatings and attempts to mutilate him as he grew up. He wanted to go on the trip and so made his way home and didn’t tell his parents of the pain he was in for fear of them saying he couldn’t go.
The next morning he turned up at school with a shiny nickel in his pocket, excursion form signed and his hat in place.
His attackers were stunned to see him turn up and vowed that if Jimmy started to ardle they’d act all in the good name of themselves and the school.
At the naval depot there was a lot of water and the boys eyed it as a place to bump Jimmy into should he give them cause. The water around the depot was dirty and thick with kelp and the most unpleasant place anyone would want to be.
We were all invited to inspect a navy submersible and everyone was keen to go down into the vessel.
All was going well until we heard that tell tale sound of Jimmy ardling. Every kid froze not sure where to look as Jimmy nonchalantly ardled against the Captains door. Our teacher was horrified and when confronted by the naval tour director had to admit that Jimmy was an ardler, a person who when the urge took him pulled out his penis and urinated there and then.
We were all ushered off the submersible and politely given a dishonourable discharge from the excursion.
Jimmy was always nonplussed about his role in what happened as ardling was such a part of him he ardled as the easiest way to solve his bladder problem.