Wordle #81 “October 5, 2015” – Johnno


This week’s words: Warehouse Board Concession Personal Scurrilous (grossly obscene, abusive) Animal Gasp Ferment Scab Rivet (a metal pin for passing through holes in two or more plates or pieces to hold them together, usually made with a head at one end, the other end being hammered into a head after insertion.) Tin Sugar

Johnno was a bit of an animal but he was our town’s animal.

He was a scurrilous character claiming fame for being the town’s flasher, the town’s streaker and the town’s peeping tom.

No one of course challenged his right to those titles and after a life time of scurrilous deeds together with his working life in the canning factory making jam tins and later in the company’s warehouse Johnno had settled down into retirement enjoying and exercising his considerable talents, none of which endeared him beyond recognition that it was he who had perpetrated the scurrilous deeds about the town.

In older age there was a move to stop him streaking as he tended to frighten small children and revive horrible memories in the minds of the ladies in the retirement village.

If you were unfortunate to be in the shops when he was there his personal hygiene was on display for all. To say you gasped as you wandered past him would be putting it mildly. He’d stand near the jam tins proudly pointing out to all who’d care to listen that his hands had made them. Even made clear he had popped the minute rivets to hold the tin in place.

The community was often at loggerheads over the concessions it gave to Johnno. The town administrative board was under constant attack to have the health authorities place him in care or at least give him a bath.

It was felt that left to his own devices his entire body was in danger of fermenting to a point where his entire person could be used as a weapon of mass destruction.

As he aged and fell from time to time the scabs that formed on his knees took on the form of harbouring unknown bacteria that gave the impression of being in constant battle with themselves and the possibility of mutating to a point where he posed a potential threat to the whole town.

Johnno’s final demise came when the sugar truck broke down out of town and the sugar had to be brought into town by hand. Johnno loved sugar and practised the well-known sharing act of two for me and one for you.

They found him in a diabetic coma from which he never recovered. His scurrilous legacy lives on, there’s a plaque with his name on it in the tin factory and he was buried with a bag of sugar and a roll on deodorant. No one in the after life should be made to gasp it was felt…

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2015/10/05/wordle-81-october-5-2015/

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21 Responses to Wordle #81 “October 5, 2015” – Johnno

  1. exercising his considerable talents, none of which endeared him beyond recognition

    Very clever phrasing. This man sounds positively repulsive Michael and usually I do try to sympathize. At the end I read plague instead of plaque given the descriptions a plague did seem possible. I love the dark humor of them burying him with deodorant.

  2. Lyn says:

    You’ve done a wonderful job with those words, Michael.
    Ugh! Johnno is probably related to Sir Les Patterson — he always gives me the heebie jeebies.

  3. What a gross little man, I picture him skinny, wrinkly and scabby… Somebody would have loved him I’m sure. 32 today 35 tomorrow. Loving the warmth finally. 😊

  4. phylor says:

    Oh, my!
    On the one appendage, I, like Johno, fall a lot so harbour ” scurrilous” scabs upon my knees.
    However, as I work myself up into a ferment not to expose the community to my personal movement problems, rarely are these “weapons of mass destruction” seen. If I won’t appear with my knees bared in public, then I feel no kinship or comradery with Johnno.
    Read during 1st coffee — now I am really awake for Doctor’s appointment, lol.
    Great wordle words, Yves, and great wordle word usage, Michael! Cheers!!!!! (gently clinks coffee mug against top left corner of laptop screen).

  5. clothespeggedpat says:

    Another fascinating and entertaining story fashioned of a highly imaginative and fertile – but not of the bacteria festering sores plague type – mind. You’ve painted a very curious little tale here.

    Cheers Michael 🙂

  6. Wow, what a graphic character sketch. A man to OD on vice and life. I’m afraid to ask about your inspiration! LOL

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