Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers 1st September – Waiting


Image: Louise at the Storyteller’s Abode

The train steamed in and her hopes were high. It had been six weeks since the end of hostilities and each day she came to greet her two sons.

Once again she found herself on the platform her hopes up that they would stick their heads out of the carriage and wave frantically to her.

Around her villagers stood awaiting the arrival of their loved ones and smiles were exchanged with their expected appearance.

They knew of her daily vigil. The woman’s resilience was admired. Many recognised her inner strength. In secret they saw little hope for her after this amount of time.

As the engine passed, the steam from the wheels escaped in a cloud that engulfed the platform. She heard none of the exclamations of joy around her as the passengers disembarked and again she felt that recognisable pain in her heart.

Maybe tomorrow she thought, turning away.


Written for: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/fffaw-challenge-week-of-09-01-2015/

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50 Responses to Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers 1st September – Waiting

  1. Widow Veil says:

    Very sad, one wonders how long she can keep making the trip.

  2. Lyn says:

    That is so sad. You can’t imagine her pain each time the train pulled out without delivering her sons. Hope springs eternal.

  3. Graham Lawrence says:

    Poignant story. Shame she didn’t have a happy end. Perhaps next week ….

  4. This is one that makes you think. You can really feel the pain of the woman involved.

  5. missdoudy says:

    Really sad yet very beautiful. how much hope and courage she need to carry on

  6. Uday says:

    Reminded me of the real story of Hachiko the dog. One really feels the pain. Great job!

  7. I agree; I felt her pain and strained hope. I love how you didn’t give her (or us) the satisfaction of a happy ending. “Maybe tomorrow” holds too true.

  8. You have a beautiful way with words. I could feel it…great post.

  9. Sonya says:

    I like how you ended this – hope is such a powerful force.

  10. Madeeha says:

    A beautiful tale of desperate and faint hopes. I love the whole setting of this story.
    I especially like reading this sentence 🙂
    “As the engine passed, the steam from the wheels escaped in a cloud that engulfed the platform”

  11. Tessa says:

    Oh how sad. Everyday. She has more stamina and hope than I would I think.

  12. afairymind says:

    I hope her daily vigil is rewarded with the return of her sons, even if the chances are reducing. You depict her mingled pain and hope really well. Nicely done, Michael. 🙂

  13. Jenn says:

    I hope she gets her happy ending.

  14. A wonderful story that tugs at your heart. Great story, and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for participating in FFfAW challenge!

  15. mandibelle16 says:

    Hope springs eternal. I’m sure many a mother or wife waited and hoped along time for loved one’s during war. Great story Michael!

  16. Fun Simplicity says:

    This story reminded me of my cousin who yearns to see her sons every weekend. She’ll get really depressed whenever they can’t make it.

  17. This is such a heartbreaker, a great read, really enjoyed this 🙂

  18. The hurt in her heart may be difficult to put into words.

  19. married2arod says:

    Poor thing. The feelings were very vivid.

  20. milliethom says:

    I really like the way you give us that glimmer of hope at the end of this. Most of the story suggests otherwise, as she treks daily to the station. But even though the villagers believe there’s little hope, they can’t help admiring her perseverance and unwillingness to give up hope. It leads us to believe that just perhaps, tomorrow will bring her joy. Beautifully told, Michael

  21. Emilio Pasquale says:

    Well done. I get a real feeling for the town and its people in your writing!

  22. luckyjc007 says:

    Well written…certainly causes you to feel her pain and also her strength of not giving up. It’s very sad and it leaves you hoping that one day she will see her sons again and she will have peace again.

  23. Hope is all she has. I could feel her unwillingness to give it up! Beautifully done!

  24. Sally says:

    A sad story, I wonder how long she will wait.

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