Oh for goodness sake get on with it.

I’m only here because medical advice suggested it would be a good idea.

‘In order for you to continue breathing Jane we need to do this procedure. It is painless, you wont feel a thing.’

He is right of course. I don’t feel a thing. In fact I don’t feel anything.

I’m lying here on this gurney, stark naked with a team of beady eyed doctors pouring over my bits in order to ascertain the extent of my ‘issues’.

Yes another word they threw at me. Apparently my body has issues, ones that need a team of beady-eyed doctors to poke and prod, ohhh and ahh over as I lie here not feeling but HEARING every word.

I don’t think they know I can hear them.

The grey haired one with the lisp is complaining about my life style saying I wouldn’t be in this predicament if I’d lived a more active and disciplined life.

His nurse is the snotty one who stuck the needle into my arm and condescendedly said at the time: ‘ Just a prick sweetie then you’ll go to sleep.’

Prick indeed, now we know whose the prick in this game. Uh! Miss snotty just you wait, the things I’ll tell about your bedside manner.

Another doctor has entered, sounds like an English educated type. He is mentioning my spreading breasts as if that’s any of his business; he wants them gathered in and out of the way. The hide of the man, nature isn’t kind to us as we age and I sense his day is yet to come.

My breasts my be spreading but at my age they have nowhere else to go but down and when I lie flat on my back they spread like flood waters.

They are discussing my issue again.

Do get on.

I was hoping to be back in time for my afternoon serial. Jane- Marie is about to have Sam’s baby but Lorna doesn’t know it’s Sam’s as she is in love with Sam’s sister Gabby and thinks the sun shines out of her arse. Sam is such a gormless fellow I do like see him get his comeuppance.

Ohh…I felt that. Did I twinge, recoil?

I’m not sure I’m meant to know what just happened.

I hear alarm in their voices

They are pushing on me…….

Owwwwww that smarts, those paddles are hot…..

AGAIN? Are you kidding?

Owwwwwww…….just let me breathe

I’ll be ok; I’m always ok……

Oh crap!




Written for:

This entry was posted in writing challenge and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Just another routine visit to the doctor. What can we do to you today? Here, drink this … hehehe. Well done!! Thanks for joining!

  2. mj6969 says:

    Whoa – now this is an interesting, well written piece Michael. Fascinating how you could so easily write from a woman’s perspective – and well, the “mind” commentary, of this person, is brilliant.

    totally well done – and somehow, you’ve humanized what can be a very de-humanizing experience.

  3. mandy says:

    I almost missed this–it’s fantastic. You know a little too well how soap operas work, Michael. I think I remember that one. Thoroughly enjoyed!

  4. RoSy says:

    Oh noooooooooo…

Please feel free to comment, I appreciate your thoughts.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s