Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers Week of 03-11-2015 – The Cruise


It’s a cruise Doris a cruise.

I’m not sure I like that idea.

It was your idea. You said I’m sick of sitting around in our hotel, lets do a cruise.

It was a figure of speech.

Like a metaphor?



Meaning you are a rather boring person.

Well! You are showing your true colours.

Well you asked.

So you think I’m boring?

Insufferably so.

I was looking forward to this cruise.

The boat isn’t big enough.

What were you expecting? The Queen Mary?

What if a storm blows up?

It’s a river cruise the worst thing might be seeing a small log.

I’ll go only because the sign says no refunds.

Thank you I know you’ll enjoy it.

Well you sit the other end of the boat and I will.

What if I fall in?

I’ll wave as we cruise by.

Written for: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2015/03/10/flash-fiction-for-aspiring-writers-week-of-03-11-2015/

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38 Responses to Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers Week of 03-11-2015 – The Cruise

  1. AnnIsikArts says:

    Just when I thought it was safe to get back in the water. 🙂

  2. Lovely!! agot a chuckle out of this one. The only cruise I went on was an afternoon to St Bart`s on a huge catamaran…my bf could hve pushed me over alright..and I couldn`t go in the cabin, I felt seasick…just fine above water on the hulls.

  3. If I were him I might be tempted to push her in. Haha! Good story! It made me laugh.

  4. Another great entry using only dialogue! Your characters and their conflicts shine through. Doris is so cheeky 😛

  5. mandibelle16 says:

    Cute! Nice use of dialogue to tell the story.

  6. mandy smith says:

    So glad I waiting till morning to read this, Michael. I love the dialogue between these two. Actually sounds familiar!

  7. Sonya says:

    Doris sounds like an awful person but the last line made me laugh. I bet she would, too…

  8. Oh Doris… What a pain the … you are. Like others, great dialogue Michael.

  9. Lyn says:

    LOL that was great. I think I’d have thrown her overboard and not waited to see if she fell overboard. I loved the last line :DI

  10. RoSy says:

    I sure as heck wouldn’t get on that cruise. I can’t swim!

  11. luckyjc007 says:

    I love the dialogue and the humor of this story. Sometimes a “no refund policy” can prove to be beneficial. She gets to make up her mind if she likes the cruise…AFTER she actually goes.

  12. John Yeo says:

    Silence fell as the lifeboats were scrambled to attempt the rescue to poor neurotic Doris ~ There is room for more here Michael ~ Great dialogue 🙂

  13. Ameena k.g says:

    Haha, I actually love this. Such a fun story and it tickled my funny bone, especially the last two lines 😀

  14. milliethom says:

    A very amusing and telling conversation. Doris has already made up her mind not to enjoy the cruise. Well done with the dialogue and an excellent last line. 🙂

  15. Creatopath says:

    That’s hilarious. Love the ending. Talk about a grumpy bum!

  16. married2arod says:

    I liked how you used italics to distinguish the characters dialogue. And I’m so glad you said Doris to distinguish the male from the female without using dialogue tags.

  17. Nortina S. says:

    Ha! This is hilarious! I love the back and forth between the two characters. Nicely done!

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