Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers – Week of 2-25-2015 – Tsunami


Image: Dawn M Miller

As we sipped our morning coffee and contemplated the tennis match we were planning we couldn’t help but notice the tsunami approaching to our left.

I had been taking photos of the court as part of the record of our trip to Bansui Beach. We were both keen players and the location of the hotel court below our room only served to whet our appetites for a game.

Our games were always a battle with neither of us giving in to the other.

We enjoyed the closeness of our matches with the loser had to pay for lunch. As we were both misers we played with great tenacity.

But within seconds of this photo the court was gone. Swallowed up by the surging ocean.

It took ten days to get a flight home.

Mother nature had certainly aced this holiday for us.

Words 142

Written for: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2015/02/24/flash-fiction-for-aspiring-writers-week-of-2-25-2015/

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27 Responses to Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers – Week of 2-25-2015 – Tsunami

  1. Ellespeth says:

    The narrator seems to be recalling this while still being in a state of shock – nonchalant.

  2. Thankfully the match wasn’t called earlier!

  3. Excellent how the narrator compares mother nature to that of winning a tennis match. I feel the sadness evoked in this story. I loved, “as we were both misers we played with much tenacity.” I enjoyed reading your story Tommy. Thank you so much for participating and I really hope you will continue. 🙂

  4. Sonya says:

    Well, that’s certainly a holiday they’ll never forget… I like how the narrator contemplates all that’s about to be lost.

  5. Nortina S. says:

    Loved the last line. Couldn’t be a more perfect fit!

  6. Two ambitious tennis players thwarted by nature during their vacation/holiday. Usually when they lose, it’s to each other, and they both get something positive out of the match (lunch and extra motivation to win next time). But besides an opportunity to look outside themselves, this recent loss seemed to leave them (or, at least, the narrator) devastated with an unshakable yearning for one last game before returning home. Thanks for the read!

  7. mandibelle16 says:

    Everything seems lovely and then wham, the tsunami hits. I liked how you say this picture was the court before tsunami.hit. It is sad, surprising, and poignant.

  8. mandy smith says:

    I’ve seen enough tsunami movies that I have a healthy respect (actually great fear!) of the ocean. Good job at evoking the balance between the anticipated day of enjoyment (tennis) and the end of the world (tsunami)!

  9. Lyn says:

    LOL somehow sipping coffee while watching a tsunami approaching just doesn’t seem right. Why aren’t they in a complete state of panic – I know I would be. Love the matter-of-fact conversational feel to this, Michael.

  10. John Yeo says:

    A devastating hold up to the match ~ The tsunami photographs were probably spectacular after the court had disappeared ~ Great work Michael ~ 🙂

  11. Cat says:

    I liked how we didn’t know if they were male or female, the entire focus was on their competitive tight-fisted natures… but I might have put the tsunami in towards the end.

  12. Great write as usual, Michael. The loser paid for lunch, making this story so real…witha punch ending.

  13. married2arod says:

    Oh man, I was a little afraid for your pair, I’m glad they hadn’t actually gone to play tennis or they too would’ve been wiped out. I’m glad you came back to the destruction of the tsunami at the end from your reminisced segway. There was a certain amount of darkness to this story with how fierce their competitiveness was with elemental disaster approaching.

  14. kirsten says:

    This was a great take on the prompt. Wow that must have been something to watch as the ocean swallowed up the courts!!

  15. milliethom says:

    Not a holiday anyone wants to have, I think. This was a really interesting and different interpretation of the prompt – and a very enjoyable read. 🙂

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