Mondays Finish the Story – February 2nd, 2015 – Loot?


Finish the story begins with:  “Diamond Jack had his hideout next to the Rattle Snake River.”

He sat at the kitchen table and emptied the spoils of his robbery onto the table. It had been a simple stick up at the bank, a quick scoop of all the money and he was gone.

He knew his hideout was safe; no one in their right mind came near Rattle Snake River, for obvious reasons.

In the middle of all his loot was an object he hadn’t countered on finding.

On the table sat a piggy bank, the name Sally on the side. He rattled it and could hear the few coins inside jingle back at him.

He wondered what Sally intended to do with it. Did she have a plan, a target, some item she really wanted?

The following day the bank workers were surprised to find the piggy bank back on the bank counter, somewhat heavier than when Sally bought it in.

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39 Responses to Mondays Finish the Story – February 2nd, 2015 – Loot?

  1. Thanks, generous Diamond Jack from Sally 🙂

  2. Ahh.. What a sweet guy Jack was.. this pulled at my heart strings.

  3. babso2you says:

    Love the piggy bank being heavier than when she brought it in! Great line! 🙂 Well put together! Thank you Tommy for taking part in this week’s challenge! Be well…. ^..^

  4. Caerlynn Nash says:

    Aw. Bad boy Jack has a conscience. Nice! I like this.

  5. everyone has a soft side 🙂

  6. Ah that big ol’ softie! Enjoyed this story!!

  7. Susan Langer says:

    Your “Jack” was nicer than mine. It sounds like he did havve a conscience. Liked your story. 🙂

  8. John Yeo says:

    Beautiful finish ~ Bad man Jack is soft-centred ~ 🙂

  9. latasun says:

    Jack is a good guy. .Sally would be delighted. Good story.

  10. Lyn says:

    Maybe someone stole his pocket money when he was a little boy and he felt bad for little Sally. That was sweet, Michael. Nice to see he had a soft side to him. Great use of the prompt 🙂

  11. buddysmom13 says:

    What a cool twist. The thief with the heart of gold payin’ it forward. I really liked this!

  12. penshift says:

    Really Sally was the sheriff’s put name for his revolver – he was putting a little aside for more bullets. Sorry I really couldn’t resist! I like your version of diamond jack.

    • Thanks for that comment, well yes maybe he was, I like that idea though. Amazing what we can read in others words isn’t it. Have a good day.

      • penshift says:

        Ah, it always fun to surmise, based on text available, an alternative that could occur based on another’s plot. My comment is essentially how I’d twist your current story for satire. But it’s really nice as it is. If it weren’t written in the first place it wouldn’t have inspired that response in me.

  13. afairymind says:

    Love this! Diamond Jack has a soft heart. 🙂

  14. draliman says:

    A bank robber with a heart! He must be “old school”, they don’t make ’em like him any more.

  15. tedstrutz says:

    I love this story! an object he hadn’t countered on finding… nice.

  16. Good twist at the end, Michael. Very creative. Looks like Jack had a streak of gook in him. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne

  17. Forgive that typo–“good” is supposed to be the word. This seems to be my time for typos.

  18. Aww. Diamond Jack with a soft side. Captured my heart. Well done.

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