I’ve never found being alone an issue:
My constant companion.
For me alone is normal,
I am the second child of four
I am different,
Connecting doesn’t come easy.
Even in marriage surrounded by children
Loneliness was an issue.
You can be alone in a house full of people.
My days are spent by myself
As I don’t work, every day is alone time.
I like aspects of that
There’s no one to please but me
I can read, write, play music, listen to it.
I like the idea of waking each morning
Looking out my window to see the day break
Should I stay in bed, should I walk?
Maybe I will dig in my garden
Maybe I will mow the lawns
I have choices.
I like when family have been around
To sit back and rejoice in the silence they leave behind.
Then it’s my time again
So often a soothing thought.
Some days I need to get outside
Grab the shovel, the gardening gloves
My kneeling cushion, play in the dirt
Turn it over, see the unearthed richness
Imagine what might grow
Hoping each plant I sow will bear good fruit.
That is not to say I do not crave more
A companion, a lover, a friend
Someone who will tolerate my foibles
Laugh at my jokes, enjoy my company.
Not everything is as you want it
I’ve tried relationship, failed each time
Maybe my lot in life is to be just me.
I have a house that’s mine
Children whose company I enjoy
Grandchildren to watch grow
And a wealth of stories from a life
Spent mostly alone, but substantial in experience.
A life of care
Nurture, learning and love.
If tomorrow my time was to end
I think I would be to content.
There’s always more to see,
Places to go, friends to meet.
I have discovered in recent times
A whole new world
Waiting to be explored.
I know I don’t have to be alone
But it has given me a sense of self.