Image: Doobster @ Mindful Digressions
This week’s prompt: ‘heel/heal’
As you get older the healing process slows down, cuts, scratches and abrasions just take a bit longer to heal. The physical will always heal eventually it’s the psychological that take a life time if you are lucky.
I have been told on numerous occasions I should let my past go and for the most part I think I have but some things are ‘festering sores’ you think they are under control and they suddenly break out rising to the surface and taking all attention and activity.
When this happens I now days know and I’m aware and for the most part I am able to control how I feel.
So often I have sat and tried to analyse why this happens to me and I think I know the answer. For no matter how much time goes by, how much talking goes on, how many resolutions are reached there remains one lingering sore within my psyche.
Never has one of my perpetrators said sorry. They are not the sort of people to do that. I know that, but it gnaws at me that they can’t see past their own precious world. Rather they still see most things as my fault. They will never see their role and responsibility as other than centred on themselves.
Now I will never exonerate myself from all blame, relationships succeed on the backs of the two people involved and I am far from perfect. In the day to day I accept I can be difficult and often disappear off with the fairies.
But I have grown to understand the person I am.
I have also grown to understand the need for others to take me as I am. My children do, they are wonderful examples of tolerance, they are also experts at requesting my help and assistance when they need it but I am happy doing that because they express gratitude.
As I age I am aware of this ‘sore’ within me but I don’t intend for it to rule my life.
It may never heal but I now know how to treat it.