Prompt #79 Surprise!


You thought and said I was inept.

Such a nice quiet man

I heard you call me

To friends, family

Anyone who’d listen.

Too busy with the children

To preoccupied with the house

The renovations,

The kid’s commitments

The need to be good at my job

The hours of prep

Far to absorbed

To look sideways.

The harassed husband

The man who’d make some woman a good wife one day

I was derided as

But you didn’t know

Why would you?

Where you thought I was tied up all day every day
I knew you were

That ever wanting need

To be the best

To walk over anyone in your way

Including me.

The abuse and terror

When things weren’t your way

When being at home

Meant being at war.

I don’t regret my actions

I don’t regret stepping out

I enjoyed every moment

Thrilled and loaded with expectation

She listened and then loved.

Ours was a marriage

Where I didn’t matter

A glorified housekeeper and baby sitter

Apart from my innate use as a whipping post.

Upon discovery years later

You expressed an embarrassed surprise.

The stunned silence shattered in a way only you could contrive

‘So who was it found you so attractive?’

Written for:

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34 Responses to Prompt #79 Surprise!

  1. “When being at home

    Meant being at war.” this line is so powerful Michael my God it tells a very vivid and painful tale all by itself

    I did not expect the ending at all

  2. Thrilled and loaded like a gun, one always willing to pull the trigger, shattering the silence.

  3. I agree this line ‘When being at home Meant being at war’ It speaks volumes in a poem that shows the pain of a relationship ripping apart.

  4. JackieP says:

    Well if you ask me she deserved all she got, what a terrible woman. Glad you ‘stepped out’. As always Michael. I well written emotional piece.

  5. Angie Mc says:

    At war at home. Hidden suffering, real and raw. You write very powerfully, Michael. Thank you for sharing.

  6. I kept bobbing my head reading this and loved the ending…home being a war zone rather than your haven…and the abuser is always shocked when you leave. As always an awesome write, Michael.

  7. julespaige says:

    Kind of reminds me of when I was growing up… only it was both parents who were never home saying I was inept. And cheating on each other. And yet they stayed together. I had inquired why?
    But I was too late in asking the question. Which I supposed doesn’t matter since I …moved on vowing not to be like either one.

  8. Lyn says:

    You are especially talented at writing this style of poem, Michael. She sounds like your typical feminist boofhead who believes their own press.

  9. Prajakta says:

    Like everyone else, I loved ‘When being at home Meant being at war’. While I was lucky at my place, the screams and yells that used to permeate out walls from around the neighborhood raised too many questions.

    Very well written!

  10. Pat says:

    Such a powerful piece Michael – full of a quiet dignity that can only be expressed by one who has decided to know and truly appreciate their value and self worth, in honest love – of oneself.
    In the face of an ongoing war – you have expressed so much – so well – and I really love the accurate portrait of what one could conceivably and truthfully call a “shrew.” The surprise twist – is amazing – although I sensed it earlier on – and yes, that final “bite” – how cruel.

    Amazingly sensitive Michael 🙂 Truly strong and moving writing – a story told from a perspective many refuse to acknowledge, yet is so often prevalent.

    • You write the most amazing comments Pat, seeing responses always makes me happy. I am pleased you are able to do so and and I appreciate each comment. Flattery is such an ego builder, keep it up. Have a good day.

      • Pat says:

        Ahhhh but Michael, it isn’t flattery – I prefer to think of it (my how my ego is running amok today) as a Truth of some kind. Notice the “T” – honestly, who do I think I am?!

        Seriously though, when I comment it is because there has been something that has touched and moved me – and I take my commenting seriously – whether it is humorous or serious or something in between. After all, each creation as composed is offered to the world here – and who doesn’t want to hear some positive feedback that in some way, they have made a mark and left an impression?

        And so Michael – I say – keep writing and sharing and we all shall keep enjoying and appreciating and learning as we go along 😀 You have an amazing day/evening etc.

      • Thanks Pat, I appreciate your comment. I may be a bit blasé about comments at times but I always enjoy reading your responses to what I write.
        I won’t be posting for a few weeks as I am in Tokyo at the moment having a holiday with my cousin.
        But I will try and read everything you post, as I enjoy your style very much. Enjoy your evening.

      • Pat says:

        Well I hope you have a wonderful wonderful holiday Michael. Be safe and well 🙂

Please feel free to comment, I appreciate your thoughts.

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