It could be a bump in the night
Horror movies and scary stories
Ex partners and certain women.
But no! It’s people,
Crowds, gatherings
Call them what you will
I avoid them like the plague.
I prefer to be well away,
The claustrophobic feeling
Of large crowds in confined spaces
No way Jose!
I am penned in, put upon,
I question why I am there
What others must be thinking
Uncomfortable is the right word
It’s better this side of the screen.
So I avoid, defer, put off,
I shop early, been known to cancel theatre tickets
You get good at finding excuses.
Parties terrify me, best stay away
I don’t drink, don’t smoke
Poor social skills I know.
To change is to be confident
Less fearful, assured, belonging,
A ‘normal’ person in a ‘normal’ society.
But I am who I am
And that’s ok, I can function
If I have to, and I do,
But I’ll avoid if I can.
Sorry I can’t make it……
Written for: http://pookypoetry.wordpress.com/2014/05/02/poetry-prompt-something-that-scares-you/
Morpethroad 
This is so descriptive of how I used to be, still am to a certain degree, but not as bad as I used to be. A great poem Pooky describing such feelings so well. Xx
Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate your comment. Michael.
This was Michael – not me! (Though it almost perfectly describes me too..) x
Sorry! Full of cold! Brain shrivelled up! 😊
Of course, the kleenex…. get well soon xxx
Thank you! Xx
Yes get well soon. Please call again.
You just described me! Well done Michael. I hate crowds too and avoid them at all costs. So I know that feeling well.
Thanks Jackie, we have something in common!!!!! As do a lot of people it seems.
You are who you are & that’s who you are. 😉
No need to drink or smoke to enjoy life or have fun at a gathering.
I don’t smoke (only once when I was 6: http://sharingmemyselfandi.wordpress.com/2012/06/18/smoking-at-six/ ) – I social drink (very little -as I’m a lightweight) & it’s all good.
Thanks RoSy, at family functions I feel out of place, give me a one on one and i’m fine, group me into groups and I’m lost. It doesn’t seem to have gotten any easier as I get older.
I didn’t realise we had this in common – Tom organised a surprise party for my 30th. I got wind of it an hour or two before and cried!
Thanks Pooky, you know last year my kids insisted on me having a 60th, I was not keen, but I realised they needed to do it, so I went along with it all and we had a great night. But I would still have been happy to have had them around the table for dinner not a full blown party as such. But I am pleased I went along with it now.
Like you, I had a wonderful time in the end… sometimes people who love us know what is best for us I suppose?! That is a very kind thought from your children x
I hear you, Michael. The Wednesday Markets does me in. I went once and that was enough. Parties for my grandchildren or very close friends (where I’ll know everyone) are okay, but any other party…
Oh yes Lyn I so know where you are coming from. There are markets here first Sunday of the month, I went when i married but now I avoid them like the plague. Now its 8.15 am and I’m off to the shops before they get too crowded. Have a good weekend.
Very nicely said, Michael. You describe the uncomfortable feeling and crowds actually bring out a different “you”. I can see that as you are so easy to talk to here. Crowds don’t both me so much but I do prefer less…I miss living in Toronto doing groceries at all night stores; parties I totally do not enjoy and always have an excuse unless they are for me which has not happened since my 50th.
Thanks Oliana, one on one I am fine in a room I want to hide under the table.
heheh…you are too funny. At my 50th I wanted a big bash; so my boyfriend at hte time had my kids, friends from Montreal invited as well as my Toronto friends and most of my colleagues at work…we reserved my favourite club where I danced regularly to live R & B weekly. One colleague is our stand up comic at work…she is hilarious and at my party she was so silent and would have felt more comfortable under the table as well. That was an eye opener to me the level of comfort for each one of us has its limits.
People can surprise us no doubt about that. One of my friends is a very quiet girl, like me a drama teacher, at her 50th she came out in a character she loves to play to speak to us, it was hilarious, but as herself she would never do such a thing.
I do not like crowds. They make me uncomfortable. I especially don’t like attention on myself. I think a small crowd at my own funeral would make me uncomfortable.
Larry, you are back, welcome. I should point out that at your funeral the size of the crowd will be the least of your worries. Thank you for reading and your comment. Have a good day.
Oh? You know something I don’t?
As I said before, what don’t we know!
Well thought out Michael, I did not know that of you like Jackie said she is the same as are many I am sure. I on the other hand…oh well what can I say 🙂
Well you learn something every day yes? You party goers don’t always see us party non goers as you frolic away. Lovely to read your comment as always.
No I’m totally oblivious to you lot 😉 welcome.
As I thought.
🙂
OK, so first of all: I promise I hadn’t read yours when I wrote mine, just so you know (considering the beginning with the whole ‘bump in the night’ thing! *smile* Secondly… I’ve been there and your description is pretty much spot on. I know the excuses, the rethinking routes somewhere to avoid the most crowded spots (if you REALLY can’t get out of going somewhere)… *shudders* Anyway, this really moved me, so thank you for sharing!
Thank CC, I must go and read yours now. I imagine there would be similarities.