Friends ask me why? Why no girlfriend?
I see myself the epitome of the undemanding boyfriend
Fetch this, that and whatever else I need, please?
My mother called me tolerance
Maybe that’s the problem, do you think?
Would you mind, this shirt, the collar?
I ask for very little in the every day
A small kiss in the morning, a coffee, toast,
Get us the paper will ya?
These are not demands, requests I say
You can say no and that’s ok
Before you do that do this for me please?
Living with me will be endless joy
I give as I receive, I am yours all day.
Make the bed, hospital corners you know.
My morning tea I like at ten, lunch at twelve fifteen
My socks and underwear ironed,
I’m not demanding just requesting.
Afternoon tea at three and my dinner at six.
In between my love your time is yours
Enjoy and do as you please, pass the salt please.
I am the least critical of all men,
You cook and I’ll eat whatever you decide
This could have been done a little more.
I see us discussing world matters
Domestic politics and domestic issue equally
Only an idiot would have an opinion like that.
My life is for you to share, embrace,
There will never be an unrealistic demand
Fairness is what I am; it’s late but the dusting?
I can see women lining up, demanding my attention
What joy it will be, to spread myself out there
Can you, will you, wont you?
So are you going to fix that leaking tap or not?
In your own time of course, I can wait,
I’ll sit here and wait, no hurry, no inconvenience.
So when you decide to try out this undemanding man
I am sure the demand for me will be high
My No. 555TOLERANCE, twenty-four hours, seven days.
Morpethroad 
Oh and it’s good you have a sense of humour too…which shows in this piece 😉
Thank you Jenny happy it raised a chuckle in you.
Funny stuff…..Hmmm remind me to stay away from those kind. ha! 🙂
Thanks Jackie, should I hear of you being tempted I’ll let you know.
HAHAHA, I can relate. I feel like you have described 98% of the heterosexual male race…present company excluded of course.
Thank you there are not many left of us 2%ers.
Too high maintenance for me – LOL
Thankfully RoSy you don’t have to live with him. And it’s not ME!!
LMAO!
I didn’t think it would be you.
You are relieved aren’t you…
Definitely. 😉
One of the funniest you’ve written, Michael. LOL I can change a washer (even reseat the inners), build a fly-screen door (measure the doorframe diagonally) and even mow lawns. I don’t do ironing – or shopping. We’d last 5 minutes 😀
Ha thank goodness for that Lyn, one would hope no one ever had such a man.
Oh dear, seems you’ve described at least two of the other half which I became too familiar with! I think the ironed socks were what really got me…there really are quite a few male persons like this…though there are also some females who could qualify without a lot of problems. Love your tongue in cheek humor!
Thank you so much Georgia. You would hope there are not too many of them.
Amen to that…it’s be a nicer world.
I love your humour! If it’s not humour then I hate it!!!
Thanks Shona, yes its humour, did you think it was autobiographical?
I wasn’t too sure!
Really? I will have to do something about my public persona.
Ha!
LOLOLOL, a perfect description of an utter lack of self awareness, brilliant!! 🙂 🙂
Thanks Helen thankfully there are not many men like this? Or are there?
LOL Ironed Socks and underwear?!!
I had to have a chuckle…
It is often stated ‘treated em mean, keep em keen’ which sounds so ridiculous but is very often true, particularly of those who have been broken at some stage and are still working through recovery.
I’ve witnessed many abusive relationships and for 6 years was in one with an alcoholic, which was challenging. I often wonder why I stayed for so long. I’m not confident of all the reasons, but one thing I can say of that relationship is. I did everything I possibly could to hold us my end of the bargain. I committed and tried my very best and at the end of the day – when I reflect I know that I did, and that helps me find comfort.
My life is built around a wonderful family now, which does not include a romantic relationship, but none the less – I am blessed 🙂
I know this is about you, though it made me think about my own life and experiences and I really appreciate that about your writing.
The man describe here – I would agree is RARE.. lol
Thanks Lou you have spoken before of your story so I understand your comment here. Yes I hope he is rare too as is the female version that appears on another blog.
*nods*