Friday Fictioneers – The Flood

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In the aftermath of the flood the devastation was apparent for all to see.

Cast about like playthings the trolleys usually so stoic and orderly had been thrown haphazardly and left to sink or swim in the torrent the flood generated.

All that remained of the three hundred new trolleys the K Mart had recently procured were three forlorn lost and wet shopping carts standing their ground in what was left of the car park.

As objects of pity, they summed up the feelings of so many. Nothing had been spared and now they, like everything else, were dislocated.

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82 Responses to Friday Fictioneers – The Flood

  1. Sandra says:

    A nice play on the word ‘dislocated’. Good one.

  2. Anja says:

    This image is causing lots of sad and dreary stories…..nicely done.

  3. Dear Summer,

    A well written piece of desolation.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  4. howanxious says:

    Yes… dislocated… that word says a lot many things. Very well-written. ๐Ÿ™‚
    -HA

  5. MrBinks says:

    Great imagery in this one. Nice work.

  6. Oh I so liked this – very much Michael. Sad for the people of the flood and also the wet & lost trolleys.

  7. gingerpoetry says:

    I like it how you take the dislocated carts as a symbol for all the dislocated people, Mainly the contrast of the “so stoic and orderly” trolleys to the desolation of the end. A modern allegory
    Liebe GrรผรŸe
    Carmen

  8. kz says:

    this was very sad. dislocated –couldn’t have described it better ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Summerstommy,

    Carmen nailed it when she noted how you take the dislocated carts as a symbol for all the dislocated people. You crafted a tight, somber story out of the prompt. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  10. Ye Pirate says:

    A sensitive tale – nice important last sentence too – well done.

  11. That final word – dislocated – is just perfect. It rounds off the narrative so beautifully.

  12. Late to the comment party and thus so much has already been mentioned. I concur. ๐Ÿ™‚ Although I do wonder where this person lives that the shopping carts/trolleys are normally in order and not all over the parking lot! ๐Ÿ™‚

    janet

  13. Great underlying social statement here. Thanks for the inspiration! ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Lynda says:

    There has been a lot of flooding this year. Your story sums up the feelings of all those who have experienced this violence of nature. My sister many years ago survived a flood and lost some friends and her home in the experience. Dislocated is a perfect way to describe how she was feeling for some time afterwards. Nicely written!

    • Thanks Lynda nature has a way of wreaking havoc from time to time and sadly some people suffer terribly for it. In Australia we have our fair share of flood disasters too. Dislocation goes hand in hand when nature strikes with such fury.

  15. Love how the carts were used as metaphor for the devastation of the flooding.. well played sir ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. the picture stands out because of the strong writing here

  17. Cool tale, Sir ST2, beautifully built.
    Well done, AnElephant loves it.

  18. What a wonderful image to portray the concept of the wake of devastation…I can envisage a lost trolley home for abandoned shopping trolleys now… : ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. That was a very moving story. Very vivid, so vivid, I could feel the pain those poor K Mart shopping carts must have felt. Well done.

  20. Linda Vernon says:

    There is something really sad about the shopping carts that survived! Of course they are just the tip of the ice burg — since it sounds like it was a horrible storm!

  21. I felt sad for the trolleys, it echoed the feelings that the people felt after a storm. Well done!

  22. RoSy says:

    You captured the aftermath of a flood so well.

  23. Like som many things, being dislocated and tossed about is a stark outcome. Nicely done.

  24. Hi Summer,
    Should have built an ark when God told them to and put two of everything on board. Ron

  25. Your 100 words parred down to one; dislocated, the story is told with that.

  26. zookyworld says:

    I like how you used the shopping carts — I mean trolleys! — as symbols of the desolation. Forlorn, lost, wet, dislocated: all powerfully described to show the state of things.

  27. draliman says:

    I like how you have made the trolleys almost like people in the second paragraph – I started to feel sorry for them!

  28. JackieP says:

    Our stories seem to be cousins this week. How nice. Very nicely done. Like all the others I like your use of the word dislocated.

  29. rheath40 says:

    I know shopping carts have no emotions, yet I could feel their sadness in your story. Very good.

  30. Mike says:

    They do look like objects of pity don’t they. A great story.

  31. ly says:

    Who knew you could make shopping carts have feelings? Last line sums up the disaster for all. Thanks for visiting me.

  32. Dee says:

    Well done, loved your last line.

  33. dreaminofobx says:

    My thoughts go to the fate of the other 297 trolleys, just as I often wonder about all the people affected by disasters who didn’t get featured on the evening news. I hope that they will find their way home, that life will be put right once more.

  34. Those trolleys do look sad, lost, and “dislocated.” Great word choice. I always call them carts…I prefer trolleys! I’m going to start calling them that. I think this is one of your strongest pieces that I’ve read!

  35. hugmamma says:

    The trolleys seem human. Kind of makes me feel sorry for their sad situation…

  36. annisik51 says:

    I loved the description of the trolleys as stoic and orderly. It stands too for the usual state of humans, who are by and large stoic and orderly; in this situation, thrown into chaos, dislocated.Very subtle language use. I didn’t like that you used ‘about’ twice in that sentence. It jarred, but perhaps you meant that. ๐Ÿ™‚

  37. Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Off His Trolley | A Mixed Bag

  38. camgal says:

    Good post, nice puns ๐Ÿ™‚

  39. pattisj says:

    They may be found many miles downstream.

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