I am standing above looking down on you.
As you are lowered into the depths.
I have a sudden urge to leap in after you and drag you from the earth that will soon consume you.
I am not ready yet to let you go.
I cared for you all that time, days, weeks, months, the years.
All that was for what?
Feeding you, wiping your arse, cleaning your mess, things I never thought I would have to deal with, but did.
Was it just to make it easier for you to leave?
What about me?
I am left in pain.
I lie awake at night.
I cry.
I fret
I hate you sometimes.
To whom do I turn to now?
Where do I find the compassion you showed to me.
You took me in when I was most vulnerable
You asked no questions simply listened and offered me shelter.
We shared our lives, we laughed, we barracked,
We gambled, we rued our bad luck.
All is gone now,
Move on they said
Build a new life
Find a new love.
I pray the agony subsides.
Morpethroad 
This line is brilliant Summer -I have a sudden urge to leap in after you and drag you from the earth that will soon consume you…amazing. So much sadness in this 😦
Thank you RM, that’s a lovely compliment. Your comments are greatly encouraging to me.
and encouraged you should be – that really reached out to me.
Thank you.
That was heart wrenching. I somewhat agree with rambingsfromamum about the urge to pull you back, but it would be to just embrace and allow you to cry until you couldn’t anymore. This is so sadly beautiful.
Thank you Anja. I am glad you are able to comment and connect with me.Enjoy your day/night.
Your writing makes it easy to connect especially with a common emotional experience.
Yes, this definitely strikes a chord with me. All that mixed emotion and the unbidden memories that you really don’t want to remember, the things that you never imagined having to do, that you nevercwantedvto do, but you did them anyway, because that’s what love is all about. Funnily, reading things like this helps right now – I don’t feel so alone in my horribly mixed up, messed up thoughts.
Thank you Freya I’m glad my words connect for you. Almost a year ago my dad died and I now writing this stuff. The healing takes time.
Yes, that’s what they say. Patience isn’t my easiest virtue….
Sadly it begs us to adhere or we go crazy. My best wishes to you.
Healing is a slow thing, feeling suppressed emotions difficult at best. Words are a good release Michael, take care of you! xx
Thanks Penny, a year on and I still find myself writing this down. But yes this is good for the healing process. Thanks for your support.
It can be difficult when hearing the sad experiences of others who empathize (even when well meant) so I won’t go there, I’ll just say I know and understand the depth of the loss you are feeling my friend! xx