JSW Prompt 3rd January – On Being a Part-time Weekend Axe Murderer.

Thursday was that day in the week where things seemed to get done. It could have been the urge to act since the previous three days had been an exercise in idleness and the weekend was looming and so deadlines had to be met.

In my case as a part-time weekend axe murderer, a lot of the preparation had to occur before the weekend and Thursday was always the ideal time to do so.

There was nothing worse than waking up on Saturday morning knowing you’d done nothing in preparation. Panic would set in, the job would be half baked and my anxiety levels would be through the roof.

You can’t be an effective axe murderer if your nerves are all on edge. You could stuff the whole thing up and clients don’t like a half-arsed job. They like clean and neat.

So Thursday morning was head down, bum up, planning as meticulously as possible, dotting I’s and crossing T’s.

By Saturday afternoon all was ready to go. I had a plan to get to the set location, a plan of execution and always a plan to retreat or if successful a plan to exit gracefully.

After years of this, I have considered the possibility of going full time but then I’d miss my day job as a gravedigger.

I arrived as per schedule and took up my place behind the rose bushes. It’s prudent to do the job outside, as there’s less mess to clean up.

My target approached and as he stopped to pick a full bloom red rose I struck. He never knew what hit him. Over in a flash. I was in the car and off before anyone knew it.

I’ve become very efficient, it’s why I get so many jobs.

Written for: https://athling2001.wordpress.com/2022/01/03/jsw-prompt-1-3-2021/

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11 Responses to JSW Prompt 3rd January – On Being a Part-time Weekend Axe Murderer.

  1. Patricia says:

    Oh, my! Who knew you could write such wicked satire. Well done!

  2. Sadje says:

    Fantastic story! Till the end one doesn’t know what you’re going to murder with your axe!

  3. OMG I’m a little worried about how detailed this is. LOL

  4. Fun post……….. in a dark way Michael!

  5. Lyn says:

    Hmmm I wonder if his other job has anything to do with THIS job? 🥴

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