I once heard that mistakes were what made the world go round.
I don’t I was one; at least I don’t recall my mother telling me that I was.
It wasn’t until I became a father that I began to understand and appreciate what I had.
There were moments, usually at 2am on a work night when walking the floor that I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I could certainly say that none of my children were mistakes, as such. Rather when asked why I had so many my cheeky response was to say, “Well they just kept turning up and I didn’t have the heart to turn them away.”
I would say there were times when I was upset that some came too close to the previous one. That was definitely a challenge. I felt I’d just sorted out number 2 when number three burst into the world and it felt like I was starting all over again. Initially that was frustrating and I recall a feeling of resentment about the arrival of a third child as we drove to the hospital to give birth.
But as with every baby, suddenly there is a tiny living person in your arms, and you look down to see her looking into you eyes and instantly you fall in love with her. It was like she sensed that I was apprehensive about her birth and was assuring me that everything was going to be ok.
As it turned out, compared to her older brother, she was a dream of a child.
I would never use the word mistake in reference to my children, ‘inconvenience’ was more my call. Only because each child put a strain on our financial situation. Basically we were permanently poor, and when we did buy a house, big enough to house them, we lived with a mortgage that seemed to increase rather than decrease.
Then as a parent I made more than my fair share of mistakes. In my day, like with most new parents, I thought I knew everything. There were no books to read on parenting, our role models were our parents and they made mistakes with us. We plodded along, reacting more often than not.
Later when they became teenagers and developed intelligence far out reaching my own, so they thought, they made mistakes, and hopefully learnt from those mistakes.
Somehow or other, despite all the mistakes, so clearly seen in hindsight, we have all turned into reasonable people, we still talk with each other, our past mistakes forgotten, forgiven or put down as ‘He didn’t know any better.”
Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2021/10/28/tale-weaver-28-10-21-mistake/
It sounds like you have a lovely family Michael.
I’ve been very lucky Jim
As parents we make so many mistakes. And the kids are generous if they let bygones be bygones.
Yes generous they are
What a lovely tribute to your family.
Thanks so much
How many kids did you have? Back after my son was born I wanted to try for a third. My husband at the time grimaced because he knew I wasn’t the “odd number” type of person and if we had three then we’d have to have four. When I thought I was pregnant with #3, which I wasn’t. Bob freaked out and ranted about how we’d never be able to afford another and why had I tried to get pregnant!?!! Well, wasn’t he half the problem? Lol! We ended up with two.
We have 6 though my wife had one before we were married. Lots of complicated reasons for so many but despite their parents they have turned out reasonable human beings.
good to hear! Lol
All my ‘kids’ were by proxy……… fosters or partners. My parents inherited grandchildren by second marriages. Not having my own was not a mistake or by choice, just a fact of life. You have a lovely family Michael.
Thanks Di they are a very diverse group of people. Even better they still think I’m ok. I think of what I would have missed out on if they weren’t here.
Lovely thoughts Michael.
Sounds like you knew what you were doing, even when you wondered if you did. Lovely post.
Thanks so much Patricia